Bad Yelp Reviews in Poetry Form

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Abstract

Unsplash</a>*</figcaption></figure>There was a dead fly in my soggy fries. Dining with you was not the best night. We went for a birthday party, It did not feel celebratory…The burger was brickish. We’re lucky nobody chipped a tooth. The lettuce was wilted, brown along the edges. Salmonella? Maybe. The tomato was tasteless, could’ve been a slice of water. The blue cheese was beyond its “best of date.”

Options

Honestly, you’re lucky we didn’t sue Close your doors; let someone else try. Eww ewww ewwww.I’d assign 0 stars but that’s not an option.I suppose the fact that you serve Guinness gains the 1 Star, as it’s a meal in itself. Thank goodness for the Irish!1/5 stars*Review purely imagined — not of Trailboss Burgers as shown in the photo above.</article></body>

American food (burger edition)

There was a dead fly in my soggy fries. Dining with you was not the best night. We went for a birthday party, It did not feel celebratory…

The burger was brickish. We’re lucky nobody chipped a tooth. The lettuce was wilted, brown along the edges. Salmonella? Maybe. The tomato was tasteless, could’ve been a slice of water. The blue cheese was beyond its “best of date.”

Honestly, you’re lucky we didn’t sue Close your doors; let someone else try. Eww ewww ewwww.

I’d assign 0 stars but that’s not an option.

I suppose the fact that you serve Guinness gains the 1 Star, as it’s a meal in itself. Thank goodness for the Irish!

1/5 stars

*Review purely imagined — not of Trailboss Burgers as shown in the photo above.

Satire

Bad Yelp Reviews in Poetry Form

American food (burger edition)