PERSONAL & RELATIONSHIPS

Back Off, Sweatpants Daddy

No, I’m not interested

“Hey business mommy, you look hot.”

I look up briefly but don’t answer. There he is, the sweatpants daddy.

I’ve met them all: the business daddy, the jeans and shirt daddy, the sweatpants daddy. Of course, everyone is individual and different. But a few things are repetitive and get on my nerves.

Let me tell you my story!

I wear a business outfit because I picked up my kid at daycare right after work. I didn’t have time to change because I had appointments. Or I had to pick up my child earlier because she was sick. Maybe the kindergarten closed earlier.

There are many reasons. Anyway, I didn’t go to the playground in pumps and a pencil skirt intentionally. Note: even if I would do that. Back off.

Sweatpants daddy approaches me. Focus only on my appearance. Looking up and down without any shame. Hits on me, in front of my kid.

My 3-year-old asks me if I’m sick. Because he said I’m hot. Looks at me with concern. I think about it for a second. “No honey, I’m fine. I’m fine.”

I look angry at sweatpants dad. He’s typing on his phone. Stands a few feet away. Grinning at me. “There are rarely hot moms like that here. Always just house moms. What are you doing?”

I find it highly inappropriate to address me that way in front of my child. To reduce me to my appearance. Badmouthing other moms who dress differently on the playground. I’m annoyed.

I tell him that I am obviously here with my child and want to engage with my child. He continues to talk. Asks what my name is. What my child’s name is. Where I come from.

I repeat my statement: I want to play with my child. I am not interested. He keeps talking: “Are you single, where is your husband? I am divorced and can see my child only once a month. Do you want to meet sometime?”

I tell him that I’m not interested, as I said. He doesn’t stop: “So you have a husband? Why don’t you wear a ring?” I answer him again: “I don’t need a man to have no interest. LEAVE US ALONE.”

Why do some men have more respect for a man who is not present? More respect than for a woman’s “No”?

He asks for my name again. He only wants to know me. A hot mommy. His ex was always just in jeans. Oh, the irony! Not just that he’s in sweatpants. But also because I’m usually in jeans on the playground, too.

Like probably most of people. But even then, I don’t have my peace of sweatpants daddies.

The business dad. He’s fine.

He sometimes says hello in the hallway at kindergarten. He doesn’t even look at me. Cell phone to his ear. Too busy to look up.

Most of the time, he runs past me without saying hello.

I am a big fan of politeness and always greet him anyway. But it’s okay, he’s busy. He lives his life and I live mine.

The jeans and t-shirt dad. Proud dad, kissing his kid goodbye, hugging it, waving.

Smalltalk with me and the other parents in the hallway. Nice and friendly. I like normal jeans and T-shirts dads.

Most of them are like me, trying to do their best in parenting, and greeting others on the way.

But some just seem friendly and nice, and like one of the many great super dads.

Hint: There are just as many great super moms, but this article is explicitly about the dads I encounter every day in kindergarten and on the playground.

Some of these super dads are for sure great husbands or partners. But some are also impossible. I have experienced several times that the fathers with their children on the way to the kindergarten group greeted friendly. Saying goodbye to their child lovingly.

“Bye, my darling. See you later, love you.” On the way out, he’s a changed man. Patterns me from top to bottom. “If only my wife was that pretty for once”. Okay wow.

That’s not a compliment to me!

That is disrespectful. To his woman. Totally inappropriate. Even more inappropriate considering we are in kindergarten.

We just said goodbye to our children. Such guys, unfortunately, I met more than once. In the front, the loving family man and husband. In the back, he hits on other women.

Not even ashamed to do it in the hallway of the kindergarten. I ignore it. The next time it happens to me, I replied.

In the afternoon, I meet him and his wife with the child by chance on the playground. My child runs right there. Jeans and t-shirt dad gets a panicked expression on his face.

I greet them friendly. Sit down away from them. He doesn’t hit on me again since. Just greet, no eye contact.

Maybe because he is ashamed. Or because he’s afraid that I’ll tell his wife about the jokes. I fear only the latter.

The list is neither complete nor transferable to every kindergarten daddy. Besides, it’s meant to be seen with humor — even though sweatpants dad really pisses me off. 🙄

Have a great day!

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