avatarMercedes O'Leary

Summary

The author reflects on the experience of being awake at night, contemplating life's challenges and the beauty of the natural world, as exemplified by the May tree outside their window.

Abstract

The author is intimately familiar with the solitude of 3am, a time when the world is quiet and the mind often wanders. They describe the ethereal sight of the May tree in their yard, illuminated by the moon, and how this scene contrasts with the weight of life's burdens such as grief, heartache, and existential worries. Despite these concerns, the author finds moments of joy and gratitude in the safety and comfort of their home, and in the simple act of noticing the world around them. The experience is captured in photographs taken during these nocturnal wanderings, highlighting the enchanting beauty of the tree under the moonlight. The author also touches on the broader concept of online writing as a form of poetry and the importance of being present and engaged in the world.

Opinions

  • The author believes that our capacity for joy can be obscured by various life stressors, including financial worries and the existential dread of mortality.
  • There is a sense of gratitude for the basic comforts of life, such as having a safe place to sleep.
  • The author expresses concern about the state of the world but finds solace in the shared human experiences of nature, such as the cold air and the night sky.
  • The act of paying attention to one's surroundings is presented as a valuable practice, a way of bearing witness to the world.
  • The author suggests that online writing, much like poetry, has its own beauty and freedom, implying that digital platforms can be a canvas for creative expression.
  • The concept of 'how we show up in the world' is presented as both a beauty and a form of work, suggesting that active participation and presence in life is crucial.

Awake in the Middle of the Night

(Again)

The May Tree outside my window. Photo by me.

I am well acquainted with 3am.

The May tree in our yard back lit by the moon, shadow branches sprawled over the snow.

There is much that obscures our capacity for joy: grief, heartache, bills, the existential crisis of being alive and the accompanying knowledge of our departure.

I don’t always sleep through the night.

My mind wanders.

Last night I prowled around the house taking pictures of the improbable, fairy-tale tree. I tip-toed on the porch, barefoot, and took notice.

There is a real economics happening here: a house, a yard, a safe place to sleep, even if I can’t.

I worry about the topsy-turvy world.

But there is an “otherness” too that belongs to us all: the cold air, the night sky, the practice of paying attention, of bearing witness to the world around us.

Those nearly full moons make it impossible to sleep! Photo by me.
Poetry
Life Lessons
Alaska
Insomnia
Feminism
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