Autoimmune: The Rock Star of Immune Systems?

Here at autoimmune, we’re so good we kick our own ass!

Turns out that just 5,000 years ago, some of us humans developed superhuman immune systems.

This occurred because of their gig at the time, which was herding animals. Their immune systems grew sick and tired of getting sick and tired from the animals so they upped their immune game.

Or rather, they adapted to their situation.

I’ve mentioned I have a “dis-ease” commonly known as multiple sclerosis (MS). MS is considered an autoimmune condition where killer immune cells are so badass and looking for a fight, that if they can’t find one, they’ll pick a fight with their host tissue.

The tissue being attacked is myelin protein in the central nervous system.

Word has it that Myelin was getting a bit cocky and gave a group of immune cells the stink-eye.

Wrong move.

What cocksure Myelin didn’t know was these immune cells were battle-tested and looking for a fight. These cells didn’t get the memo that Myelin was a teammate – or didn’t care.

Turns out these cellular bad-asses had some impulse control issues and let it rip on my central nervous system.

And, wala!

Think I’m full of shit?

See for yourself.

Excerpt from the article:

“Our analyses indicate that MS gene variants helped people survive in the past,” Barrie said at an online news conference held by the researchers in Copenhagen on January 9. Gene changes linked to MS boosted Yamnaya herders’ immune defenses against diseases transmitted from their horses, cattle, sheep and goats, the researchers suspect.

Modern, sanitized environments have altered immune systems in ways that have increased MS risks for those who inherit these once advantageous genes for herders, they speculate. “This is the first evidence of this [evolutionary process] in an autoimmune disorder,” Barrie said.”

I may be living proof!

When I read this article about super immunity I was not surprised. I intuitively suspected this.

I specifically remember the last time I had the flu was 1997. You do the math, but my calculation is 27 years of no flu.

But it doesn’t end there.

I rarely even get a cold. In 2006 I had a sinus infection shortly before my MS diagnosis. I recall nothing significant after that.

I should point out that I never caught COVID either – Thankfully.

It’s time to accept that I’m a superhero. I’m a gen-u-ine real-life freak of nature!

From my deepest recesses, from the depths of my cockles, with all humility and without ego it must be known…

I’m a badass.

Yes, someday I may end up immobile and severely physically compromised, but germs will never get me!

Admit it, it’s sexy.

My immune system is so powerful that the breeze from me walking by cures others of colds, flu, strep throat, and genital herpes.

Someone should call Marvel Studios.

I’d like Brad Pitt to play me. It only makes sense..

If I remember accurately, as a young boy I didn’t get sick much either. I attribute it to poor hygiene. I couldn’t be bothered with bathing and therefore activated these supercells.

Once I realized the ladies weren’t much for stank ass, I started bathing, or at least pouring Brut 33 down my knickers.

All bets were off then — No dirt, no dice. My cells started kicking my own ass.

Anyway, thems the breaks.

I’m a superhero and you’re not.