Audrey and the Aberkerzki #2

Episode two: The stone of discontentment.

Standing, staring at her feet, Audrey wondered if any of the past events had actually happened, or if in fact, the Aberkerzki was more of a symbolic internal imagining… or a bizarre and distorted… but short lived, collapse of sanity, stemming from a discontent heart, and a frazzled mind.

Audrey sighed as she turned in the walking direction of her workplace, then she froze… should she perhaps skip work today? Maybe quit altogether?

She shook her head. “What am I thinking,” she said out loud, “Aberkerzkis aren’t real.” Then, she marched forward, assuming she would be able to make sense of her hallucinations, once she’d had a chance to process them.

“There you are, building,” she said to the ugly temple of mediocracy that stood before her. The building seemed to smile, as it knew that Audrey once again had nothing better to do than trap herself inside for several hours.

She pushed open the stupid door, and began to climb the ridiculous stairs to the annoying fourth floor. There was her arrogant desk… yes, her unyielding workspace that had taunted her for years with, “You’ll never leave me.”

As she flopped onto her uncomfortable chair that should have been replaced many years earlier, she could’t help but wish that the Aberkerzki would show up and do something interesting.

She looked around, and sadly, everything seemed pretty standard.

“Oh, Audrey, thank God you’re here, why are you seven minutes late? Don’t worry, just stay back seven minutes tonight… anyway, there was something I urgently needed to say… I need you to fix the coffee machine again, it’s doing this ‘Spsss, Spsss’ thing, and then it’s just like… not making coffee,” said her boss, Joe, as he stood above her.

What Audrey wanted to say was… “It’s literally the exact same thing every time… any monkey with half a brain could fix it, so do it yourself or I quit.” But, what she actually said was, “I’ll fix it right away.” And adding to that… she said it with a smile… gross.

As she went to stand up, Audrey’s desk shook slightly, which caused her to quietly squeal.

“What is it?” asked her boss.

“Oh… nothing, I just thought I saw a spider… but it was… um… my hair tie on the desk,” she lied.

“Good, we can’t have you running out of here, Audrey,” he replied, “This business would crumble without you.”

“Yeah, literally the whole building would just vanish and all that would be left, is an empty plot of overgrown land,” she said, shocking even herself that she went off her own life script.

“What?”

“Nothing, I was just making a joke,” she said as she rushed to the kitchen.

“Audrey,” barked her co-worker, Marnie, “It’s not your lunch break.”

Audrey lifted her head off the table that she had clearly gone to for advice, “Yeah, I know, I was just fixing the coffee machine.”

Marnie squinted as she provided an expression to show her distrust.

“Oh, it was more difficult than I was expecting, so I was sitting here trying to think of ideas,” lied Audrey.

As Marnie placed her cup under the spout of the machine, Audrey knew that Marnie was about to realise the coffee machine was in fact working once again, so as Marnie’s finger pushed the button, Audrey jumped up and said, “Thanks Marnie, you seem to have fixed it.”

Audrey didn’t wait for Marnie to respond, she left the kitchen as fast as possible and sat back down at her desk.

Audrey knew, as she’d known for several years, that ‘looking busy,’ provided the same outcome as actually ‘being busy,’ and she wasn’t about to put in any extra effort that day. As she bashed away on the keyboard, she wondered if she’d ever have the guts to make something of her life, but she knew that it would be difficult, because she had neither the courage, nor the audacity to simply tell people where to go.

Several hours… and seven minutes later, Audrey was freed from the bonds of her work day, and had it not been for the existential dread that was still looming, she would have been happy about that.

Leaving the building of doom, walking down the twilit streets, and making her way to her rather undecorated home, she once again wished that something interesting would happen.

She looked around the streets, ‘someone selling something… that I want no part of,’ she thought as she walked faster.

Once inside her apartment, Audrey closed the door, and as she did, she placed her hands on her face and leant on a nearby wall.

At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to shut out the outside world forever.

“Okay, okay, Audrey,” she said, trying to hype herself up, “Make something healthy, and then try to do something other than watching the next episode of whatever crap you watched last night, oh, and take a shower.”

The water always took an unknowable time to heat up, so before getting in the shower, and before even getting undressed, she would always turn on the water and wait a moment.

But tonight, something was different.

“Hey,” said a voice inside her shower.

“What on Earth?” squealed Audrey as she pulled back the curtain. “Aberkerzki?” she asked, completely shocked, as she saw her furry bluish friend.

“Yeah… well, I was just gonna observe tonight… but.”

“From my shower?” asked Audrey, feeling confused.

“No… well, I mean, I did actually have a shower, I’m not strange.”

“Right… Um, but this is a little strange isn’t it? And seriously how am I going to get all that blue hair out of the drain?”

“Here, this is for you,” said the Aberkerzki, changing the subject, as she held up a small chunk of what looked like rubble.

“Is that literally a chunk from my work building? I’m literally… Hmph…” huffed Audrey.

“It’s the stone of discontentment, but watch this…” Cupping her hands, the Aberkerzki briefly hid the stone, then opening her hands again, there shone probably the most beautiful necklace that Audrey had ever seen. A red stone, perhaps a Ruby, in an oval shape, which was surrounded in gold and it had a gold chain. “Here,” she said as she held it up.

“Thank you,” said Audrey as she took it.

Audrey heard a noise from outside the bathroom, so she turned her head, and then back to the shower. The Aberkerzki had disappeared.

“Oh, great… at least tell me your name,” yelled Audrey.

“It’s just me, Cakey,” said Audrey’s friend Nina, as she stood in the doorway. “I hope you don’t mind, I let myself in… again. You have absolutely no food… you are so strange. Though, perhaps a bit of a diet isn’t the worst idea… Anyway, get ready, we have to leave soon.”

“For what?”

“The thing… Audrey… c’mon, the work thing I told you about. Anyway, I can’t go alone, I’d be so embarrassed.”

She wanted to say, “No! You keep doing things like this, you didn’t tell me anything, and really, shouldn’t you ‘ASK’ me, not tell me?” but instead she said, “I must have forgotten, but don’t you want to go with Henry?”

“Henry?” scoffed Nina, “What the heck Audrey, are you trying to hurt me by mentioning his name? I told you, I dropped him two days ago.”

Under normal circumstances, you could probably imagine Audrey wondering if in fact, her strange ordeal had caused her to forget a few things, but this was standard Nina behaviour, and Audrey wanted to call her out, but she knew she wouldn’t.

As Nina turned to check herself in the mirror, the Aberkerzki’s tail stuck out and flicked her rather forcefully. It wasn’t enough to hurt her, but she moved slightly, and in an uncoordinated way at that, because of it.

“What is with you tonight?” barked Nina, imagining that Audrey did it. “Anyway, the black dress… wear the black dress because it makes you look okay without outshining ME,” she continued.

“New necklace?” asked Nina as they approached the building where the work function was being held.

“Um, yeah, I mean, sort of… but I…”

“Hmm, don’t care, but I want to borrow it for my next date… actually… let me wear it tonight,” she barked.

Audrey didn’t want to let her wear it, but truth be told, she also didn’t want to cause a scene that would be thrown in her face for years to come. As she handed over the necklace, she felt certain… for once, that she would actually get it back.

‘Is this a high school dance?’ wondered Audrey as she stood in a corner with a red cup filled with soda, while she was surrounded by streamers. Although the vast majority of the people seemed to be in their 30’s or older, the decorations were needlessly tacky for something that she assumed was going to be professional.

From across the room, Audrey could see two beady eyes… the eyebrows of which, danced around in a bizarre fashion, and belonged to a man that was probably 10 years older than her and most definitely, not desirable.

Audrey hated that she could tell he was attempting to get her attention, so, probably for the first time ever, Audrey was happy when Nina yelled at her.

“Cakey, what the hell?” she shouted as she handed the necklace back, “Look at this rash. What is this made from? Spider’s legs?”

“Erm… rubble, I think.”

“Audrey, this is not funny,” yelled Nina.

‘It’s a little funny,’ thought Audrey, as she put her necklace back on.

Nina looked over at the weird flirt and said, “I’ve already slept with him to get my latest promotion, so he’s off limits.”

“Eww, I don’t want Mr Eyebrows,”

“Sure, you’re waiting for Mr Right, not Mr You’ll-do… right? You know what, have him. He has nothing else to offer me,” she said as she walked off.

Audrey wanted to leave, but she didn’t want to let Nina down, so she just stood there, pretending not to see Mr Eyebrows walking over.

Suddenly, the weirdo tripped and fell flat on his face… he looked around, nothing, so he got up to try again, and much to Audrey’s relief, the fire alarm sounded. ‘An excuse!’ said Audrey out loud, unafraid, as she knew that nobody could hear her.

“This has been a really strange night,” said Nina as they stood outside the building.

Audrey assumed she was about to hear something interesting.

Nina continued, “My boss has a wife… and he introduced her to ALL of the women… what the heck?”

Audrey nodded, having absolutely no clue what Nina was on about, “Anyway,” said Audrey, “we should go.”

“Well, on that bombshell, I guess so,” she said as she began to walk in unison with Audrey. “You know Audrey, you’re so strange, but you’re also really nice… that’s why I keep you around.” It was an odd thing to say, and it was perhaps even odder still, that Nina said it in a way that made it sound like she was trying to offer a compliment.

“You know what Nina?” said Audrey, wanting to take her power back, but then she froze and just stood there awkwardly.

“When you figure it out, let me know,” she said in a distracted way as she looked at her phone and continued, “I have time to make it to my friend’s party. I’ll try to get you an invite.”

“No, no, you go,” said Audrey, and as she knew she’d once again be catching a taxi home from a distant part of town, alone, she wished she hadn’t agreed to pay the full fare to the event, with the once again unkept promise, that Nina would pay to get home.

“Attempt number two,” said Audrey as she again stood with her back on the wall of her apartment.

“Hi.”

“Hey… don’t do that, Aberkerzki,” squeaked Audrey, “You scared me.”

“Well… If I know one thing… and I do… it’s that you actually wanted to see me.”