We All Need the Life Advice Denzel Washington Gave Will Smith at the Oscars

Humility is a powerful force

You’ve no doubt heard that actor Will Smith walked onstage at the Oscars last night and slapped Chris Rock after the comedian made a low-blow joke about his wife, Jada Pinkett-Smith.

Will Smith has epitomized grace, positivity, and maximizing potential since he headlined Fresh Prince of Bel-Air in his 20s. I’m quite certain he’ll be forgiven, and his career will go on unscathed.

It was a shocking moment, but instead of focusing on that transgression, I want to look at what happened afterward.

During a break in the broadcast, Smith is seen in a huddle with Denzel Washington. Later, when Smith is accepting his award for Best Actor, he apologizes for his behavior and adds:

Thank you, D. Denzel said to me a few minutes ago, he said: ‘At your highest moment, be careful, that’s when the devil comes for you.’

Denzel Washington is an immensely talented actor and a powerful person who worked his way to the top ranks in Hollywood when roles for people of color were rare. He did it with nary a scandal or a harsh word.

He’s been married to his wife Pauletta since 1983. In a town where five years of marriage is a victory, they’ve been together for almost 40.

Washington has always struck the right balance between strength and humility. I went searching for examples of this and they were easy to find. Journalist Marla Bishop recounts interviewing him on two occasions and asking him each time what he was most proud of. The second time he starts by saying “[Proud]. I don’t usually use that word…” before coming up with the answer: his children’s success. His answer the first time? Buying his mother a house.

Both times, he focused on others.

The late Chadwick Boseman was open about the fact that while he was in drama school, Washington was his silent benefactor, giving him and several others scholarships to help them graduate despite not knowing them at all. You can see Washington in tears as Boseman says of his own film: “There is no Black Panther without Denzel Washington.”

This video features 10 minutes of advice Denzel has given others. It’s worth watching for yourself, but the throughline is to work hard, be disciplined, and focus on service. One piece of advice seems particularly apt for our social media-driven world:

Don’t confuse movement with progress. Just because you’re doing a lot more doesn’t mean you’re getting a lot more done.

Recently Washington made news because actor Ellen Pompeo recounted a story of how, even though he was directing an episode of her show Grey’s Anatomy, she told him off for giving her direction. When asked about it, Washington claimed he didn’t remember. My guess is that he did, but why add fuel to a useless fire? He didn’t have anything to prove. Pure class.

Washington continually speaks of working hard and contributing. He advocates having a goal and staying focused. He advises us to lift others wherever possible.

None of this is new or ground-breaking advice, but it’s powerful coming from him because he’s the living embodiment of how this now seemingly old-fashioned philosophy brings success. In that same video, he avows:

I’ve been protected, I’ve been directed, and I’ve been corrected. I’ve kept God in my life and it’s kept me humble.

In the often desperate and graspy world of Hollywood, Denzel seems strong and above the fray. Knowing what I know now, I realize he was in the perfect position to guide Will last night. And his advice is applicable to all of us.

Humility seems to have gone out of favor, and I believe it’s to our detriment. In an age where a distressing amount of young people aspire to be an influencer, how many are focused on working hard and being of service? What exactly do they hope to influence others on?

It’s a terrifying thought, especially because they’re merely a reflection of the world they’re being raised in.

In the era of self-empowerment, let us all remember to balance personal interests with caring for others and working hard to make the world a little better. Thank you, Denzel, for reminding Will and all of us we can’t ever afford to lose our humility.

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