Eulogy

At My Funeral, Tell The Truth

Please be brutally honest.

I was watching a movie recently and there was a scene with a woman speaking at her friend’s funeral. She didn’t say anything that could or would appear to be negative. It was all loving and beautiful. I began to think about funerals in general. I have attended funerals where the preacher and/or loved one didn’t tell the truth. Well, it was their truth, or who that person was in their own life. Maybe it was the way they wanted that person to be seen, or maybe it was the way the person wanted to be remembered.

After thinking about it, I would request that whoever speaks on my behalf, please tell the truth. Unfiltered. I never had a filter, so it is only fitting for someone to talk about me and be brutally honest.

I thought about my funeral and what my best friend Spring would say when talking about me, and who I was as a person.

The Good Things

She would say I was compassionate, kind, and wanted to help people. She would say I was a Christian and loved the Lord. She would say that I believed God loves everyone, regardless of their station in life. She would say that I believed you should treat people the way you want to be treated. She would say I believed every person has their own cross to bear. She would say I was a good person.

She would say that I loved writing, and it was the one thing that brought me true peace. She would say I loved animals and children, and had a heart for both, and cried when they were mistreated. She would say I believed in the underdog, the little person, or the marginalized, and that I was very empathetic. She would say I believed everyone had a “story.” She would say I was funny and quirky. She would say I wanted there to be justice and fairness in the world. And cried when there wasn’t.

The Things that offered a glimpse into why I was quirky.

My Mom would say I was clumsy to a fault, and that I was always hurting myself. She would say I lost everything all the time; from keys, glasses, driver’s license, and tweezers. She would talk about how much I loved my dog Kirby, and how I had prayed for God to send me the right dog, and He did. She would say I loved Dr. Pepper and candy.

The Not so Good

She had a temper and lashed out at people — co-workers, friends, and her family. She was angry at the world, God, and mostly herself. Her anger was all-consuming, and there was always a cost. She was stubborn and dug in her heels, even when she needed to bend. She didn’t have a filter and said whatever popped into her head, and that came at a cost. She didn’t trust people. She worried and thought, “If they knew me.” She knew she was flawed and admitted to her faults.

They would say more than anything — She was misunderstood.