PSYCHOLOGY/ADVICE
Why We Should Stop Making Assumptions
We should not be so quick to judge others based on our own preconceived notions
“Don’t make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.” — Don Miguel Ruiz
Do you make assumptions about people and events around you?
Everyone makes assumptions all the time by sheer force of habit.
It is just a fact of life.
We do not always know the entire story, so we make assumptions to fill in the gaps.
We make assumptions based on past experiences or stereotypes or what have you.
We believe a person has a specific motivation for their actions or that an event took place for a particular reason.
Then we see these incorrect assumptions as though they are the truth, and more often than not, we are wrong.
We can do a great deal of damage, mistaking assumptions for the truth ranging from something trivial to a broken friendship/relationship.
Personal Examples
Example One
I did not approach a young mother at my child’s school because I assumed that she might be unfriendly based on her quiet, reserved demeanor.
I was finally introduced to her at the end of the school year and found her a lovely person. I discovered she was not fluent in English and hence preferred to keep to herself.
I missed out on a possible friendship with this sweet lady because of my false assumptions.
Example Two
My daughter was initially apprehensive about attending a private school, as she assumed incorrectly that students in private schools may be snobbish and aloof.
However, the opposite turned out to be true, and most of the students were actually down-to-earth and friendly.
Final Thoughts
- We should be direct and willing to ask questions of others.
- We need to train ourselves to be more sophisticated in how we perceive people. It is easier said than done, but it can be accomplished with time and effort on our part.
- Finally, we must try to stay open-minded and understand where the other person is coming from instead of judging others based on our own preconceived notions.
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