Asked Write 80,000 Words for $1,200 I’m Rolling in Cash!

Summary

A writer humorously recounts being commissioned to write an 80,000-word Scottish highlander historical romance novel for $1,200, expressing excitement and sarcasm about the low pay and tight deadline.

Abstract

The author of the article has been offered a job to write a lengthy historical romance novel set in the Scottish Highlands, with a word count of 80,000 words for a payment of $1,200. The writer is ecstatic about the opportunity, joking about the paltry sum and the short time frame of 50 days, which they confidently plan to halve. Despite the low compensation, the author sees this as a chance to impress their spouse, who is a fan of the genre, and to make a dent in their bills and expenses. The article contrasts the offered payment with standard ghostwriting fees, which are significantly higher, and the author playfully dismisses the idea of higher pay, claiming contentment with the$ 1,200. The writer's enthusiasm is tinged with irony as they fantasize about the impact of their work and the recognition they expect to receive, only to end with a humorous twist, declining the offer due to the pressing need to organize their sock drawer.

Opinions

The writer is both excited and facetious about the $1,200 payment for an 80,000-word novel, considering it a big break despite the low pay.
They believe they can produce the novel much faster than the proposed deadline, showing confidence in their writing abilities.
The author values their spouse's opinion, hoping the book will be a hit in their household, especially since it's a genre their partner enjoys.
There is a clear disparity noted between the payment offered and typical ghostwriting fees, which the writer acknowledges with humor.
The writer humorously prioritizes personal tasks (organizing their sock drawer) over the writing opportunity, suggesting that the payment is not worth their time.
Despite the sarcastic tone, the writer seems to have a genuine passion for creating memorable characters and a masterpiece of a book, aiming for excellence regardless of the pay.

Big time baby, it’s the big time!

Oh, oh, I have great news!

Someone asked me to write a Scottish highlander historical romance novel of 80,000 words! It’s true! Can you believe it? They want to pay me $1,200! It’s the big time, I tells ya!

Oh, and the best part is they only want it in 50 days! Why I can do that with one arm tied behind my back and blindfolded. I’ll have it in 30 days! I will sit in my writing corner until my eyes are bloodshot, and it’s 4 am with my coffee pot crying out for mercy! By God, it will get done!

It might be a good move as my wife loves Scottish romance. She sits there with drool dripping out of her mouth whenever Outlander is on. Just think she can read my book as we huddle under blankets when our heat has been cut off. That $1,200 is ever so handy!

Imagine what I can do with a cool $1,200, why I may even get a bill or two paid. We could make a payment on our new car! Might even have enough left over for a good frozen pizza and some beer! Not the good stuff that is for losers not getting paid $1,200 to write historical 80,000-word stories. I’m talking about that cheap stuff. You know, the kind that makes you vomit after two of them. Now, that is living!

I will create characters so stupendous and excellent they will defy the laws of writing!

I will dig into the depths of Scottish history and search every museum until my feet bleed! My book shall be known as the greatest work of all time! $1,200 and an absolute masterpiece. Oh, and edited down to the last colon! Each phrase complete and total!

Check out these ghostwriter stats!

Ghostwriting fees for beginner writers are around the range of $12,000 — $15,000 for a book around 200 pages

Shorter books may be around $8,000

Experience writers earn around $40,000-$60,000+ and up per book

Bah!

Who wants that much?! I’m getting $1,200! I get the promise of even more books to write and all for $1,200 each! Only useless peons want that much money!

It’s a happy, happy, day! Ha, ha. I’m getting $1,200!

Damn! I just remembered. I have to rearrange my sock drawer! I have quite a few of them, and some are even missing! I can’t write your book. I would like to, though. Maybe you could hop in the washing machine and find my lost socks. I know they are someplace in there. You can find a Scottish romance writer in the void where socks go. You are sure to get a good one. That writer shall be known as a living God! I’m sorry it couldn’t be me. Thanks for the offer though!

Tootles!

Asked to Write 80,000 Words for $1,200 I’m Rolling in Cash!

Big time baby, it’s the big time!

Check out these ghostwriter stats!