Summary

Karen Humphries discusses the importance of asking deep, introspective questions to facilitate personal growth and align with one's dream life, advocating for setting annual intentions over resolutions.

Abstract

Karen Humphries, a Change Facilitator, emphasizes the significance of self-reflection through hard questions to achieve personal growth and align with one's dream life. She references Mel Robbins' digital workbook "Make 2024 Your Best Year" as a tool for this process, suggesting that while initial questions may seem superficial, they lead to profound self-exploration. Humphries encourages a gentle approach to reflection, allowing for the processing of emotions and the alignment of desires with actions. She promotes the idea of setting an annual intention rather than a resolution, as it fosters a positive mindset towards growth without the pressure of immediate success. The article underscores the importance of connecting with one's feelings and sensory experiences to envision and manifest one's goals, and it concludes with Humphries offering resources for readers to further their journey of self-improvement.

Opinions

Mel Robbins' workbook is seen as a valuable tool for reflection, despite its initially "fluffy" questions.
Self-exploration should be conducted with kindness and patience to allow for genuine understanding and alignment of wants and needs.
The traditional approach of setting New Year's resolutions is viewed as punitive, whereas setting intentions is more empowering and forgiving.
Reflection should go beyond achievements and failures to include control, emotional triggers, and coping strategies.
Understanding one's feelings and sensory experiences is crucial in creating a tangible vision of one's goals.
Learning from difficult experiences and establishing new boundaries is part of the growth process.

Ask Yourself The Hard Questions First

Before You Write Your NYE Resolutions List

Source — Canva (artist Rimma Bondarenko via Getty Images)

I’m a huge fan of Mel Robbins, who recently published a digital workbook entitled “Make 2024 Your Best Year”. If I’m honest, the initial questions are a little fluffy, but that is not a bad thing. When being reflective, it can pay to ease into your exploration. But there’s some real magic as you continue scrolling.

When you undertake any reflection on life, like Mel, I encourage my audience to step down into real self-exploration with kindness. Do it gently so that you have time to process what you are learning. This allows for the alignment of your wants and needs.

We all want to live the dream life, but often we don’t know what we need to get it.

The timing of Mel’s workbook is divine. I’m meandering through the Yuletide season, reflecting on omens and utilizing the creative energy of the season. The energy of the twelve days of Christmas enables you to forecast the future twelve months. I’m also reflecting on the year that is coming to a close, and asking myself hard questions that migrate beyond what did I achieve.

I started by asking myself what am I in control of? What brings me undone? What tools do I have to shake the shizzle off when those moments arrive? Are there any big feelings lurking in the shadows that require quiet contemplation?

What stress management mechanisms worked for me this year as I continued the balance between entrepreneur and mother? What did I get right, and what were the circumstances that allowed success or failure? Could I change anything about those scenarios?

This isn’t a shaming exercise, it’s critical thinking so I can plan for more success moving forward.

Most importantly, I ask myself what didn’t work in my life, my career, my parenting, and relationshipping. What doesn’t serve me well? And let’s be frank here, what was a pain in the arse that I can stop doing??

One of the traditions I have gifted myself over the years is permission to create an annual intention, instead of a new year resolution. The intention allows me something to work towards. Whereas the resolution feels like a punishment, that if I don’t first succeed, then I risk perceiving that I’m a failure.

Mel’s digital workbook is a modern ‘wheel of life’ exploration of the various facets of your life — health, relationships, career, and so on. It is written in a way that enables you to explore quite deeply. But there is one strategic thing missing — there is no prompt to connect you to your feelings.

It’s one thing to write what you think you’ve learned or want from life. The answers come from your head. It’s another experience to create a sensory experience that connects you to your dream life.

For example, do you have a vision of a new car? Of course, everyone has their ideal make, model, and color — am I right?

But when you can picture yourself living and doing and include sensory experiences like imagining what it feels like to touch the new car, to smell the new car smell, to sit in the warmed seats, to hear the music blaring out of the speakers, to touch all the buttons…you’re sensing yourself in the car right now rather than just looking at an external picture of it.

Be sure to ask yourself the question what did you survive this year that was hard? What did you learn from that experience? Have you experienced an event that enables you the gift of ‘never again will I do that’?

Perhaps you learned about the need for new boundaries about where or how you invest your time and energy.

Maybe you learned skills or language to say “no” or variations of that “Can I get back to you on that?”.

You may have developed an understanding of what you are actually in control of. Or perhaps you learned how to regain control when feeling triggered with new coping strategies and tools?

When answering these questions, are you then able to sit and complete Mel’s workbook with a fresh perspective of what feelings you desire? Might this instigate creating motivation that generates change now that you understand what triggers you or what brings you joy?

When you can comprehend what you’re really in control of or with, you can relax and flow more towards living the dream life you so desperately crave.

Perhaps you too will gift yourself an intention for the coming year, and allow yourself an entire year to fulfill and achieve all that it can deliver you in terms of experience!

Conclusion

We often experience joy after we have gained an understanding of what is or feels hard, uncomfortable, or awkward. Otherwise, how would we know what good feels like if we haven’t counter-experienced the opposite? So be sure to delve into the hard questions!

Karen Humphries is a Change Facilitator — Clinical Hypnotherapist, Kinesiology Practitioner, Wellbeing Coach, Intuitive Meditation Facilitator, and Author. She is a confessed laughaholic. She loves serving the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’

Source — Karen Humphries (Author) This Is My Roar

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