As a Gay Ohian and Michigander, My Politicians Break My Heart

I’m “back home” after decades away, but “death to gays” and forcing transgender adults to detransition makes me wonder where home truly is.

I was born and raised in Ohio, just a short drive from Michigan where I live now. After decades in Iowa, Berlin, New York City and Montreal, I had no idea how much I missed this part of the country. When I came back, the sights, smells, and tastes of childhood rushed back, and something inside me felt … complete or content?

At home.

If you’re from the region, you probably agree we have a distinct culture. It’s not just our special English accent and vocabulary. Yes, the “northern cities vowel shift” has marked how we speak even in rural areas. Yes, we’re “pop” rather than “soda” people.

But that’s just the beginning!

Pizzas are square and bready without huge piles of toppings, distinctly different from either New York or Chicago. We cough when we drink our astonishingly strong Vernor’s ginger ale. Then we scoop vanilla ice cream into it and call it a Boston Cooler, just to puzzle Bostonians. (Because we’re cool like that.)

In terms of endgame,” asked Rep. Josh Schriver of Michigan, “why are we allowing these practices for anyone? If we are going to stop this for anyone under 18, why not apply it for anyone over 18?”

Our home cooking is delicious in ways out-of-staters probably never discover. If you’ve ever attended a church potluck in Ohio or Michigan, you know!

It’s hearty, densely caloric, often includes Great Lakes fish, and focuses on plain but fresh ingredients — having originated in the days of German immigrants and subsistence dairy farmers. I still remember my mom’s grandmother doing up vats of milk-smothered pork chops and egg noodles in her wood-burning stove.

Stinky limburger cheese, anyone?

The Germans brought it over, but we made it our own. Good luck finding our distinct take anywhere else. (Okay, confession time. Limburger heretics exist among us, but they have the right to be wrong, just like the folks who won’t eat fried smelt because it looks like bait. What’s wrong with crunching on whole minnows, I ask you?)

Oh, and the people?

We’re genuinely friendly most of the time. We say hi to strangers, pick up hitchhikers, and help random folks change flat tires. We say “bless your heart” without irony. You can move here and become an insider pretty fast, especially if you leave plenty of limburger and smelt for us natives. We’re too down home (or maybe a bit too insecure) to be exclusionary.

So why can’t I feel all the way home?

Let’s talk politics, love, and LGBTQ humanity. Let’s talk about the death penalty for people like me.

I’ve meant to write about this for a while, but I just haven’t had the heart. What are you supposed to do when one of your elected Congress reps (Tim Walberg, R-Tipton) flies to Uganda for their National Prayer Breakfast? What are you supposed to do when he flies there on the dime of the conservative Christian group that sponsors the U.S. National Prayer Breakfast? You know, the one that’s all but obligatory for Beltway politicians in both parties?

What are you supposed to do when your rep stands up at the Uganda prayer breakfast and encourages the country’s president to resist pressure to repeal the new anti-gay law?

Seriously?

That law includes the death penalty for certain same-gender sex acts and decades in prison just for identifying as transgender or gay.

The law has already caused mob violence in Uganda. One gay man was stabbed multiple times by an anti-gay crowd, and now the police are investigating him to find evidence he’s gay so they can put him in prison instead of his attackers.

That’s what your OWN congressperson encourages? How do you respond?

What do you do when he nods and mouths “amen” (watch him here) as speakers call gay people like me “a force from the bottom of hell” as they proclaim that “Christocracy” is a better form of government than democracy?

Let me tell you, friend, not even fried smelt can wash that taste out of your mouth.

Did I say we’re a warm and friendly people?

Did you hear Ohio and Michigan lawmakers just met to strategize banning gender transition for adults?

Trans advocate and journalist Erin Reed broke the story last Saturday. Audio from a private Twitter conversation featuring several legislators from Ohio and Michigan somehow went public last Friday. Apparently, this was the online equivalent of a “live mic” accident.

You can listen to the entire conversation right here. (You’ll have to wait through a few minutes of silence at the beginning.)

Long and short, Ohio lawmakers celebrated banning transition care for minors and purposefully making access difficult or impossible for adults.

Then the conversation moved to what the Republican lawmakers called their “endgame,” “banning [gender-affirming care] for everyone.” The lawmakers made clear that they (fervently!) wish to stop adult access to hormone replacement therapy (HRT).

“In terms of endgame,” asked Rep. Josh Schriver of Michigan, “why are we allowing these practices for anyone? If we are going to stop this for anyone under 18, why not apply it for anyone over 18? It’s harmful across the board, and that’s something we need to take into consideration in terms of the endgame.”

Rep. Gary Click of Ohio responded, “That’s a very smart thought there. I think what we know legislatively is we have to take small bites.”

He added, “The other thing is Planned Parenthoods. [sic] They pass out hormones like candy. [Governor DeWine has] put a stop to that. That’s one of the places a lot of adults go.”

Michigan lawmakers seemed eager to learn from their Ohio counterparts. All of them seemed anxious to share tips on how to force transgender adults to detransition or to decide not to transition.

How are conversations like this possible in a region renowned for friendliness and respect?

I won’t say any more about criminalizing gay people, and I would hope I don’t have to. Obviously, killing or putting people in prison over private, loving relationships should be unacceptable in any nation that values privacy and personal liberty. Enough said.

I’ll add just a bit about gender transition. Transgender people are PEOPLE with legitimate medical needs and the right to make decisions about their own bodies. Over the past many decades, doctors and mental health professionals have learned that what trans folks say about themselves is true:

Transition care like HRT provides joy, fulfillment, and happiness for the small minority of people whose internal gender doesn’t match their birth sex. Every major medical association in the world approves of transition care because of the good it does.

To my lawmakers, I would ask, “How is this any of your business?”

I don’t understand the impulse to deny care that brings joy and happiness to my transgender friends. How can members of a political party that traditionally reveres personal liberty justify snatching liberty?

I can’t wrap my mind around it.

No, that’s not true. I can’t wrap my HEART around it. I can’t square the neighborly values I grew up with in Ohio with the mean-spirited conversation I just listened to on Twitter.

I certainly can’t square it with calls to kill and imprison gay people.

Fellow Ohians and Michiganders, is this really who we are? I don’t think so! I think we’re more neighborly and loving. How about we send a message to our elected reps and ask them to lay off our LGBTQ neighbors?

Tell em you’re holding them a place at the potluck, there’s room at the table for everyone, and there’s plenty of Vernors to go around.

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