avatarChuck Haacker

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Abstract

7"><b>{A Pink Necromancer Prosimetrum} — {NaNoWriMo 2024: Day 05} 🦄🌸</b></p><p id="5251">Quaraun’s fingers caressed the vardo’s interior, watching the moose pull their heavy load. The smell of leather and wood mingled with wet earth, a scent he found oddly comforting.</p><p id="c975">A sudden lurch jolted him forward, and he peeked out the door, catching sight of tangled branches snagged on one of the moose’s antlers. The vardo jolted as the moose stopped, their massive antlers catching on the dense, snow-covered branches overhead.</p><p id="adfa">Quaraun brushed snowflakes off his lap, casting a frustrated glance at the moose.</p><p id="6e30">Sighing, he stepped down, leaning heavily on his cane, steadying himself on icy ground, as he untangled the twisted twigs.</p><p id="2eba">The moose chuffed, impatient.</p><p id="4ed9">“Hold still, you fool creature,” he muttered, tugging at the knotted mess.</p><p id="38aa">Quaraun stroked the beast’s neck, calming it.</p><p id="3882">“I swear, these antlers…”</p><p id="5292">Antlers scrape the air, frost crowns a beast’s head proudly, winter’s royalty.</p><p id="ab14">“Your crowns are large enough to rule winter itself,” he muttered, half admiring, half irritated.</p><p id="5a25">Antlers trace the sky, tangled in the forest’s breath, winter crowns the wild.</p><p id="a37e">“Magnificent creatures,” he murmured to himself, tracing his fingers along one antler.</p><p id="8a83">Beneath his touch, they were strong, unyielding, their ancient lines a map of secrets. His fingers itched to weave an adornment for their majestic heads, though he doubted they’d appreciate it.</p><p id="e5a4">Snow-cracked branches bow, moose antlers touch ancient skies, Quaraun whispers praise.</p><p id="4c07">BoomFuzzy chuckled, watching Quaraun struggle with the moose’s stubborn antlers.</p><p id="e582">The magnificent beast tossed its head, sending leaves and bits of moss flying. BoomFuzzy grabbed a few stray twigs, admiring their woody scent.</p><p id="1973">“Ah, ye wee beauty, those antlers are a menace,” he teased, stepping closer.</p><p id="5eb1">The moose snorted, nearly swiping BoomFuzzy with its massive rack.</p><p id="9299">“Oi! Careful, Love!” He laughed, patting the moose. “Big beastie, big attitude.”</p><p id="cb13">BoomFuzzy leaned down, adjusting the leather straps.</p><p id="e1ba">“Maybe I should weave a crown of flowers?” Quaraun said.</p><p id="b3df">“For the moose?” BoomFuzzy asked.</p><p id="9532">“Yes.”</p><p id="ea55">“Weaving posies and putting ’em on yer noggin, eh?”</p><p id="7439">He grinned at Quaraun, winking as he guided the beast forward.</p><p id="65af">“Their nogging. Not mine.”</p><p id="3d11">Old bones creak and clash, forest kings draw paths in ice, ancient wisdom calls.</p><p id="a304">BoomFuzzy chuckled, patting the nearest moose’s flank.</p><p id="229a">“Ye’ve outgrown yerself,” he cooed, scratching behind its ear.</p><p id="a51e">The moose huffed, frost clouding its massive nostrils.</p><p id="a862">BoomFuzzy’s laughter, rings out through frosted branches, echoes haunt the trees.</p><p id="0afb">“I should have me a crown like these,” BoomFuzzy said.</p><p id="f318">“Their antlers?”</p><p id="5e9f">“Aye, got crowns fit fer a king.” BoomFuzzy’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “And we be three kings are we not?”</p><p id="c54c">“Are we?” GhoulSpawn asked.</p><p id="634d">“Aye. I am the King of The UnSeelie Court. Quaraun here was nephew to King of the Moon Elves, and with all the other Moon Elves dead, that make Quaraun King of the Moon Elves.”</p><p id="3556">“But as you just pointed out he’s the last one, so there’s nothing for him to be king of.”</p><p id="d6e7">“Eh. Details can be worked out later. Him still a king.”</p><p id="94b7">GhoulSpawn looked over at Quaraun who was brushing burrs out of the moose’ fur.</p><p id="9e32">“Are you a King Quaraun.”</p><p id="0c73">“No.”</p><p id="593c">“See?” GhoulSpawn said to BoomFuzzy, who was now laughing.</p><p id="e9e3">“What’s so funny?”</p><p id="8be7">Before BoomFuzzy could answer Quaraun continued talking.</p><p id="2f55">“I am the Sacred Pink JellyFish, which makes me The Grand High Emperor of The Triple Planets. I am the King over all other Kings on all of the inhabited planets of our solar system. The entire solar system bows to my feet…”</p><p id="d14c">“Him is Insane,” BoomFuzzy whispered in GhoulSpawn’s ear.</p><p id="c40c">“Really?” GhoulSpawn replied sarcastically. “I hadn’t noticed.”</p><p id="9463">Quaraun glared at both of them.</p><p id="4f99">“I am NOT insane.”</p><p id="2b37">“Say the one what is called Quaraun The Insane.”</p><p id="11af">“I am The Pink Necromancer! Quaraun the Insane is what Findaru’s pencil pushing, brown nosing, jackassery followers call me, because they haven’t got enough brains to think for themselves!”</p><p id="b3d4">“Oooooh,” BoomFuzzy teased. “Yis pissed. Ya said a contraction. Ya only do that when ya too bitchy to control ya deliberate phraseologies.”</p><p id="912b">Quaraun pulled out his wand and aimed it at BoomFuzzy’s nose, about to start shrieking.</p><p id="50ce">“And how do you figure I’m a king?” GhoulSpawn asked BoomFuzzy, hoping that it would deflect Quaraun’s incoming raging inferno.</p><p id="d9c3">BoomFuzzy casually plucked The Rainbow Wand out of Quaraun’s grasp and replaced it with a silver brush, then shoved the wand in his own sporran.</p><p id="f17c">“I’ll keep both ya favourite wands in the same place, eh?”</p><p id="0a31">Quaraun glared at BoomFuzzy’s crotch while GhoulSpawn tried not to laugh.</p><p id="ee51">“Now,” BoomFuzzy returned to addressing GhoulSpawn. “Ya daddy was The Ghoul King. Is that not why ya gots the title of GhoulSpawn? Spawn of The Ghoul. Literally means you are the son of The Ghoul King, and he went missing decades ago. That make you king in his stead.”</p><p id="61e2">“King of what? Hell? I didn’t exactly enjoy living on the Burning Planet you know. A portal might have brought me to your world by accident, but in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m ain’t trying to go back to the Planet of Flame either.”</p><p id="624f">“We are three wandering kings without kingdoms. But that does not make us any less worthy of crowns.”</p><p id="c74b">“What say ye, Love?” BoomFuzzy grinned at Quaraun. “Fancy a crown too?”</p><p id="7d23">“I want my wand back.”</p><p id="7836">“Which one? They both in me kilt. Ya’ll have come get them.” BoomFuzzy pretended to hold an antler above Quaraun’s head, laughing heartily. “Or perhaps I’ll get ye antlers next time I conjure a disguise!”</p><p id="0494">“Give me my wand back!”</p><p id="5408">Quaraun lunged at BoomFuzzy, but the Phooka blinked to the other side of the vardo, laughing hysterically as he did. His laughter filled the air, echoing among the trees as he made his way to untangle the moose from the branches.</p><p id="5aa3">Hands upon rough bone, he names the moose ‘forest kings,’ ancient pride reborn.</p><p id="4552">Seeking to avoid Quaraun’s pending wrath, GhoulSpawn darted forward, plucking stray branches from the moose’s tangled antlers.</p><p id="0a18">“Imagine if we put bells on them,” BoomFuzzy giggled, a mischievous gleam in his eye.</p><p id="26da">He held up a piece of antler that had snagged its rough surface oddly satisfying beneath his fingers.</p><p id="487d">“Better than any Human carving, these are!”</p><p id="50ed">His hands skimmed over the moose’s antlers, tracing their intricate patterns. The moose huffed, nudging him away.</p><p id="5343">Antlers edged with snow, battle-born in GhoulSpawn’s eyes, striking through the dark.</p><p id="6333">Laughing, BoomFuzzy stumbled back, admiring the majestic curves of the antlers.</p><p id="98db">“We should collect these after shedding season,” he mused aloud, imagining his own room decorated in antlered splendour.</p><p id="5add">Nature’s wild crown

Options

bends, horned giants roam the still snow, homeward hoofbeats drum.</p><p id="906c">GhoulSpawn stood nearby, scratching his head, staring at the moose.</p><p id="45f4">“Ever think those antlers could be… I don’t know, like, useful?”</p><p id="1fe5">BoomFuzzy flashed a grin at GhoulSpawn, who shot him an amused look.</p><p id="7588">Moons glint on sharp crowns, armoured beasts haunt GhoulSpawn’s mind, shadows come to life.</p><p id="1263">“We could… mount spikes on them, give ’em extra… defensive qualities.” BoomFuzzy’s eyes sparkled with ideas. “Imagine charging into town with armoured moose! Instant intimidation factor.”</p><p id="2995">He snickered, stepping back as the moose swung its head, as if insulted by the notion.</p><p id="f5a4">GhoulSpawn shrugged, nudging Quaraun.</p><p id="a615">“Hey, just thinking.”</p><p id="06a3">Quaraun nooded.</p><p id="9486">“Those antlers are dangerous enough — why not make ’em spectacular?”</p><p id="512a">“Spectacular?”</p><p id="0438">“Decorate them with glitter and rhinestones. Pink.”</p><p id="35a3" type="7">The End?</p><p id="1769">| <a href="https://www.eelkat.com/Quaraun-Short-Stories-Index.html">©<i>2024 <b>Wendy Christine Allen</b></i></a><i> | All Rights Reserved |</i></p><figure id="3b84"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*Ss_9xyQP6g_ZfNeBdI18eQ.jpeg"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><h2 id="f690">Today’s story used this prompt:</h2><h2 id="7bbe">Day 5:</h2><ul><li>Intrigue &</li><li>— Bonus Dare: Pomegranate</li><li>— Double Bonus Dare: Antler</li><li>— Triple Bonus Dare: Fork</li></ul><div id="05f0" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/one-word-writing-prompt-challenge-e065dcbe952d"> <div> <div> <h2>November 2024 — NaNoWriMo Edition — One Word Writing Prompt Challenge</h2> <div><h3>A Month of Writing Prompts (Created for November 2024) (& I just noticed — this is my 100th Writing Prompt published on…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*xIQqYuC1KSMdaXHstHurNg.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><figure id="9b78"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*aWtbG1hf62F9K6bVTEgYWw.gif"><figcaption>꧁✨🌸🔮🦄🔮🌸✨꧂</figcaption></figure><div id="70ee" class="link-block"> <a href="https://medium.com/quaraun-shorts/an-alphabetical-index-of-my-600-drabbles-poems-kish%C5%8Dtenketsu-other-short-fiction-on-medium-c510ba1c2d5e"> <div> <div> <h2>An Alphabetical Index of my 600+ Drabbles, Poems, Kishōtenketsu, & Other Short Fiction on Medium</h2> <div><h3>{The Pink Necromancer Index Part 1- all 600+ stories about Quaraun, BoomFuzzy, & GhoulSpawn can found here} 🌸🦄🌸…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*Ayizc4kzdByAq_ofSpiAMQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="9daf" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/an-alphabetical-index-of-my-300-nonfiction-articles-126645d8b29e"> <div> <div> <h2>An Alphabetical Index of My 300+ NonFiction Articles on Medium</h2> <div><h3>Updated almost daily/Updated whenever a new article is published, I just don’t publish nonfiction daily.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*vn5ezPLSbDiTPn-WwHx92A.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="1f68" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/what-is-a-triple-drabble-aka-a-drabble-in-3-perspectives-b5d61582a278"> <div> <div> <h2>What Is A Triple Drabble aka A Drabble In 3 Perspectives?</h2> <div><h3>Moving the Triple Drabble Info Here to its own page so it doesn’t clutter up the start of my actual Drabbles anymore.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*7b8uGPVn6hzVXpy2rCmZ6w.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="b018" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/what-is-a-haiku-story-6717f911fb95"> <div> <div> <h2>What is a Haiku Story?</h2> <div><h3>Info on the term and index of the ones I wrote.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*wy7dKJihAzJ55vXUbPSd_Q.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><figure id="d753"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*aWtbG1hf62F9K6bVTEgYWw.gif"><figcaption>꧁✨🌸🔮🦄🔮🌸✨꧂</figcaption></figure><figure id="4f91"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*WxhsFKAo4CWxwTkDUGdPVQ.gif"><figcaption>꧁✨🌸🔮🦄🔮🌸✨꧂</figcaption></figure><p id="7ecf"><b>Thank you for reading all the way to the end!</b> <<</p><p id="a400"><i>Thank you for stopping by and have a nice day! </i>꧁✨🌸🔮🦄🔮🌸✨꧂</p><p id="4a8d">And if it’s your birthday today: ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐꧁ᴴᵃᵖᵖʸ☆ᵇⁱʳᵗʰᵈᵃʸ꧂🤍🎀🧸🌷🍭</p><p id="c37f"><a href="undefined">Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻</a></p><div id="4407" class="link-block"> <a href="https://medium.com/@EelKat/subscribe"> <div> <div> <h2>Get an email whenever Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻 publishes.</h2> <div><h3>Get an email whenever Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻 publishes. By signing up, you will create a…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*nx_zrR4I5kkFngZ-)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="99a6">| <a href="https://www.eelkat.com/index-of-pages.html">©<i>2024 <b>Wendy Christine Allen</b> </i></a><i>| All Rights Reserved |</i></p><div id="4b09" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/never-be-afraid-to-raise-your-voice-for-honesty-and-truth-and-compassion-against-injustice-and-d8817549ea0a"> <div> <div> <h2>“Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and…</h2> <div><h3> — William Faulkner</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*GtUY047oQIU2wjfx)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="cd04">If you have any<a href="https://readmedium.com/never-forget-my-son-was-murdered-8bd7a03c9869"><b> information about my son’s murderer</b></a><b>, </b>please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322</p><ul><li>Everything we are allowed to publicly release about <a href="https://readmedium.com/never-forget-my-son-was-murdered-8bd7a03c9869"><b>The FBI Investigation</b></a><b> </b>Can Be Found Here</li></ul></article></body>

Opinion

Artificial Intelligence for Dummy

I am just beginning to grok the “chatbot” challenges to creatives; I am unsure what to think.

Confused, baffled, bewildered old men. Illustration by Author via Fotor AI Image Generator.

At eighty-one, I kid myself that I am still pretty savvy about a lot of modern tech, including Artificial Intelligence, while simultaneously feeling I am playing catchup. When a pilot gets behind his plane, crashes are likely. I am using some of this latest tech without fully understanding what it is doing; maybe I never will.

I notice many alarmed articles from photographers, writers, graphic artists, and other creatives who perceive the looming specter of losing their livelihoods to “intelligent” algorithms. I am relieved I have aged out and no longer need to earn a paycheck. Things weren’t great in my day, but my competitors, at least, were humans with skillsets like mine.

Perversely, I love a lot of what AI does for photography. I’m a dedicated raw shooter. Raw captures must be post-processed to exist. I use Adobe’s Creative Cloud apps and Topaz Labs’ suite of AI apps that make possible what was impossible, like, last week! I am all in utilizing today’s awesome tools (although I always emphasize that full disclosure is obligatory).

I used the latest Topaz and Adobe AI tools to rescue this hairy woodpecker from shaky-camera oblivion. Perfect it is not, but what an improvement.
A niche statue of Ceres in the Wisconsin State Capitol, made in JPEG with abysmal light handheld using a microsensor 2007 Coolpix L12.
Inside the Wisconsin State Capitol, a bust of Robert “Fighting Bob” La Follette, made in JPEG by horrible light handheld with a 2007 Coolpix L12.

Bob La Follette was a progressive Wisconsin governor and 1924 presidential candidate. He spent nineteen years in the U.S. Senate. He was the antithesis of the extremist politicians of today.

What we can do today with AI is nothing compared to what we will do tomorrow. — Me

My take on AI in these extraordinary times is that it does swell stuff, and luckily I don’t feel threatened. But that is today, right now, as I type this. Forty years ago, I’d have felt differently. When I took my digital baby steps, I was so new I squeaked. I was trying to bully inferior cameras into jumping through flaming hoops. Above are examples of failures. The first thing you notice is golf-ball noise and color noise. The tiny camera was overmatched. There was no flippin’ light, but that never stopped me (still doesn’t).

Fifteen years on, I can dredge through the primordial mud of my archives and rework these tiny-sensor JPEGs into something not great but not all that bad. The results are thanks to AI tools that can work technical miracles with relative ease. True, the tools are $pendy, and I am not made of money, but I value what they can do. I’m trying to make silk purses, but I learn something new every time I do one, and the tech is constantly upgraded. There is no telling how far it can go, but look where it’s been.

So, “ChatBots.”

I was blindsided by this phenom, especially since I looked it up and found the term ‘Chatterbot” was coined in 1994, hardly yesterday.

Chatbots and Image Generators were VERY suddenly all the rage. ChatGPT burst on the scene sometime in late 2022, and now, six months or so in, a chatbot arms race is in full cry throughout the AI world.

I’ve stayed above the fray because the image generators seemed $pendier than I was willing to part with just to play with a kewl new toy.

But now the arms race has reached Google, and as I have an account, Google offered me a free tryout of…

BARD

Like in Shakespeare, y’know? I tried a tepid prompt:

Dedicated photographers, professional and amateur, use what kinds, types, and brands in their work? Discuss.

Bard came back in less than twenty seconds with this:

Dedicated photographers, professional and amateur, use a variety of cameras, types, and brands in their work. The type of camera used will depend on the photographer’s needs and budget. Professional photographers typically use high-end DSLRs or mirrorless cameras, while amateur photographers may use a variety of cameras, including point-and-shoot cameras, bridge cameras, and action cameras.

DSLRs (digital single-lens reflex cameras) are the most popular type of camera for professional photographers. They offer a number of advantages over other types of cameras, including high image quality, fast autofocus, and a wide range of lenses available. DSLRs are also relatively durable and can withstand the rigors of professional photography.

Mirrorless cameras are a newer type of camera that are quickly gaining popularity among professional photographers. They offer many of the same advantages as DSLRs, but they are typically smaller and lighter. This makes them a good choice for photographers who need to travel light or who want to take their cameras with them on adventures.

Point-and-shoot cameras are the most basic type of camera. They are small, lightweight, and easy to use. Point-and-shoot cameras are a good choice for casual photographers who want to take photos without having to worry about settings or lenses.

Bridge cameras are a type of camera that falls between point-and-shoot cameras and DSLRs. They offer more features and flexibility than point-and-shoot cameras, but they are not as expensive or bulky as DSLRs. Bridge cameras are a good choice for photographers who want more control over their photos, but who do not need the high-end features of a DSLR.

Action cameras are designed for capturing fast-paced action shots. They are small, lightweight, and waterproof. Action cameras are a good choice for photographers who want to capture photos of sports, extreme sports, or other activities.

The brand of camera used by a photographer is often a matter of personal preference. There are a number of reputable camera brands available, including Canon, Nikon, Sony, Fujifilm, and Pentax. Each brand offers a variety of cameras and lenses, so photographers can choose the right camera for their needs.

Ultimately, the best camera for a photographer is the one that meets their specific needs and budget. There is no one “best” camera for all photographers.

Hm. Well. Bard is in beta, and my having never used any of this new tech puts me in an apples/oranges situation; ChatGPT (I’m guessing) can likely wipe the floor with current beta Bard, but these days all tech comes off the line with afterburners lit. Bard is from Google, and Google is a powerhouse. Bard will advance leaps and bounds, guaranteed.

I tried another prompt:

What minimum basic equipment should a novice wedding photographer have?

The minimum basic equipment that a novice wedding photographer should have includes:

A DSLR camera body

A zoom lens (24–70mm is a good starting point)

A prime lens (50mm is a good choice for portraits)

A flash

A tripod

A memory card reader

A laptop or tablet

A backup camera

A camera bag

A variety of batteries

A cleaning kit

It is also important to have a good understanding of how to use your equipment and how to take good photos. There are many resources available online and in libraries that can help you learn the basics of photography.

Here are some additional tips for novice wedding photographers:

Practice taking photos of people before your first wedding. This will help you get comfortable with shooting in different lighting conditions and with different types of people.

Arrive early to the wedding and scout out the location. This will help you plan your shots and make sure you are prepared for anything.

Be flexible and adaptable. Things don’t always go according to plan at weddings, so be prepared to change your plans if necessary.

Have fun! Weddings are a joyous occasion, so enjoy yourself and capture the memories of the day for the couple.

Here are some additional pieces of equipment that may be helpful for wedding photography:

A second camera body

A wide-angle lens

A telephoto lens

A polarizing filter

A graduated ND filter

A flash diffuser

A remote shutter release

A lens hood

A camera strap

The specific equipment that you need will vary depending on the type of wedding photography you want to do and the conditions you will be shooting in. However, the items listed above are a good starting point for novice wedding photographers.

Okay. So, boilerplate “answers.” Plain vanilla. The advice isn’t wrong — it’s fine — but profoundly generic, complete with a standard butt-covering disclaimer at the end:

Ultimately, the best camera for a photographer is the one that meets their specific needs and budget. There is no one “best” camera for all photographers.

or

The specific equipment that you need will vary depending on the type of wedding photography you want to do and the conditions you will be shooting in. However, the items listed above are a good starting point for novice wedding photographers.

I’d like to know if ChatGPT would do better, more convincingly “human” than Bard at this early stage. Bard is brand new, but come back next week, and who knows? At this point, anyone should be suspicious that a human did not write these two columns…

But that's now.

📸As always, gratitude for looking in. I sincerely appreciate it! 😊👍

Threat
Chatbots
Image Generation
Digital Photography
Photography
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