Artifact of the Dawn: Reconciled (A Queer Sci-Fi Adventure)

Episode 78: Ardyn and Jevan take some time for themselves to consider the council’s offer and to reconnect with each other.

Jevan leaned against the wall, feeling somewhat dumbfounded now that he and Ardyn were finally alone. He couldn’t wrap his mind around the idea of being an ambassador when he wasn’t even sure where he stood with Ardyn.

“I’m… going to take a little walk and let my family know we’re heading away from the ship for a while,” Jevan explained as he pushed off the wall and walked toward the outer airlock door. “I won’t be gone long.”

Ardyn gave him a brief nod. “I’ll check the provisions they put together and see if we need to replicate anything.”

Stepping outside for the first time in what felt like years, Jevan took a deep lungful of fresh air. It was late afternoon, so it wouldn’t make sense to head out until the next day, but it felt good to stretch his legs and feel the natural ground beneath his feet again. Clicking on his communicator, he asked for his sister. “Hey, Jenira!” he greeted.

“Where have you been? Mother is worried sick!”

“Ardyn and I were called into a meeting with this new council they’ve formed,” Jevan explained. “I don’t want to go into details right now, but Ardyn and I have a pretty big decision to make. So, we’re going away from the ship for a few days. We need to clear our heads and figure out some stuff.”

“What is up with you and Ardyn, anyway? Did he tell you why he stopped coming to the hospital to see you?”

“We haven’t had time to talk about that yet, but we will,” Jevan reassured her. “Right now, we just need some time alone together.”

“Alright, but I’ll be checking in with you, so keep that communicator on, okay?”

“I will and tell mother that I love her, and I love you, too.”

Ending the conversation, Jevan looked around and saw that he’d wandered farther from the structure than he’d intended and turned to make his way back. He was within sight of the airlock when he heard the snap of a branch, followed by a territorial growl.

Stopped in his tracks, Jevan slowly turned to see a pack of triwolves stalking toward him. Falx! This must be their autumn hunting grounds. He slowly reached into his pocket, intent on getting the rahn’ora he thought he had there, only to find nothing but a pocket of lint. That’s right, I didn’t want to arrive at the council meeting armed, he remembered.

So far, the pack was only sizing him up, the largest of them giving him a low growl in warning. They looked well-fed, so they weren’t eyeing him for dinner, merely letting him know that he’d intruded on their territory.

Jevan tried to back away slowly, heading roughly in the direction of the airlock. His heart was racing as he took a few steps without taking his eyes off the pack. They didn’t like that, as they all moved into a crouch, looking ready to rush toward him, when a burst of bright light exploded on the forest floor in front of the pack.

Several more bursts were fired, sending the pack running away, as Ardyn ran toward him with his rahn’ora. “Are you okay?”

Taking several deep breaths, Jevan nodded. “Y-yeah, thanks. I thought I was a goner there for a moment. How did you…?”

“I heard the growls,” Ardyn pointed to his ears, waggling them back and forth for a moment.

That made Jevan burst out laughing, while Ardyn tried to keep a straight face, but after another waggle of his ears, his lips twitched and finally he couldn’t contain his laughter as he doubled over. It took them a moment to regain their composure, but the earlier tension between them was finally gone.

“Thanks for saving me,” Jevan said, as they made their way back to the airlock.

“I wasn’t about to let you become a feast for that pack of sar’ora.”

“Well, after the way you’ve been acting lately, I wasn’t so sure,” Jevan admitted.

Back inside, he saw Ardyn had unrolled the two bedrolls next to each other in the middle of the airlock, along with placing out some food and drinks.

“Come and sit with me,” Ardyn invited, closing the airlock doors. “It’s time we talked.”

Nodding in agreement, Jevan sat down. Sitting cross-legged, Jevan waited for Ardyn to speak. At first, Ardyn fiddled with the end of his braid and avoided eye contact with him, so Jevan gave him time to collect his thoughts.

After taking a deep breath, Ardyn raised his eyes to Jevan. “I know I’ve been distant since we learned about our compatibility for pair-bonding. I… I am sorry for that.”

“You seemed willing to pair-bond with me until then,” Jevan said. “What changed?”

“Everything.”

Jevan’s brows knit in confusion. “Have I done something wrong?”

Ardyn shook his head. “No, it’s not you.”

“Then what is it? Please, talk to me.”

Grabbing a cup, Ardyn took a drink before responding. “So much has happened and… I have been feeling lost. I don’t know where my future lies anymore. Sometimes I miss the simplicity of my old life.”

“That I understand,” Jevan replied. “Neither of us will be able to go back to what we were before. You’re right, our futures are uncertain. They stopped the Maara’dahl, but what if there are others out there like them?”

Looking straight at him, Ardyn’s eyes were full of emotion. “I am afraid. Afraid if I get too close to anyone, I’ll just lose them,” Ardyn confessed. “You… you are the one I want to lose, least of all.”

Jevan reached out and took the cup from Ardyn, setting it aside. Then he took Ardyn’s hands into his, holding them firm. “I don’t want to lose you either. You know, I couldn’t sleep that night after Denyra took you. I never want to be separated from you again.”

“I have been so unsure of what I want, but I know I feel better when I’m with you, and… I shouldn’t.”

“Why not?” Jevan asked in confusion.

“I know you really don’t want to be locked into a pair-bond. Eventually you must, but… I have been doubting my worthiness to be your bondmate. Especially… considering what may be required to complete the bonding process.”

That’s when Jevan understood. “You’re afraid of being intimate with me.”

Nodding, Ardyn ducked his head, his ears flattening. “After we were told it was necessary, I thought I might… be willing to work up to that stage with you, but then everything seemed to happen so fast. Your family seems especially… eager… for this ceremony to happen soon. But — ”

“But you’re not ready yet.”

“I’m… I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready. I don’t know if it’s because of my forced mating, but I… I don’t enjoy…”

“Oh, I think I understand. You don’t enjoy being the penetrating partner, is that it?”

“Yes… exactly!” Ardyn sounded relieved that he didn’t have to say it.

“Well, there are other ways we can pleasure each other, without having to do that,” Jevan said.

Ardyn gave him a quizzical look.

Jevan explained all the ways he and his past partners had pleasured each other. While he enjoyed all ways of giving and receiving, he knew others had their preferences. “I would never expect you to do something with me you’re not comfortable with, but would any of the things I just explained be okay with you? I can ask, but I’m sure we can make one of those work to meet the pair-bonding requirements.”

There was a lovely blush of lavender on Ardyn’s cheeks as he sat silently, thinking through everything Jevan had just told him. Looking back up at Jevan again, he quirked his head to the side. “You find all of that… pleasurable?”

Giving Ardyn a warm smile, he nodded. “Yes, very much so.”

“I… might be okay with the one you described, using your mouth,” Ardyn said quietly, ducking his head again. “W-would you be… willing to…?”

His eyebrows rose in surprise when Jevan realized what Ardyn was asking for. “Do you mean right now?”

Another slight nod and Jevan crawled over to Ardyn, looming over the smaller Athla’naa. “Are you sure?”

Ardyn reached up and cupped Jevan’s face, meeting his gaze. “Yes.”

Waggling his eyebrows, he smirked as he gently pushed Ardyn onto his back and pressed their lips together. Jevan’s heart hammered in his chest as Ardyn wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.

This is going to be so much fun.