The Cycles of Revelation Series
Artifact of the Dawn: Burnout (A Queer Sci-Fi Adventure)
Episode 43: Ardyn suffers a mental breakdown, and Jevan takes him away from the Rahn’naa for a day to clear his head.
When Ardyn woke the next morning, he made his way to the shower, intending to begin his day as usual. After spending a few moments under the warm spray, Ardyn leaned his back against the wall and slowly slid down. Huddled on the floor, everything that had happened over the past weeks hit him all at once.
Ardyn didn’t realize how long he’d been staring blankly at the shower wall when Jevan gently shook his shoulder. “Ardyn? Are you alright?”
Looking up at Jevan’s concerned face, Ardyn shook his head. “I don’t know.”
Turning off the shower, Jevan gently helped Ardyn up and wrapped him in a towel. “I think you’re clean enough, at least,” he teased, trying to lighten the mood. Without even thinking, Ardyn leaned into his friend’s embrace while being led back to the bed.
“If Takyra wasn’t expecting us at breakfast soon, I’d suggest we just stay in bed all day,” Jevan said as he took another towel and worked on drying Ardyn’s hair. Ardyn leaned into the touch and gave Jevan a half-smile.
“I don’t think I’ve ever spent an entire day in bed,” Ardyn admitted. “Why didn’t we do that when we were locked in your house?”
“Force of habit,” Jevan said, getting up to get the hairbrush. “It wasn’t that long ago, but it feels like it’s been years, doesn’t it?”
Nodding, Ardyn agreed. “It does.”
After Jevan finished brushing out his hair, Ardyn took a deep breath and looked at his ever-present companion. “Thank you. Now go get ready. I’ll be fine, and we shouldn’t keep Takyra waiting.”
As they sat in the dining hall with Takyra and their guests, Ardyn barely picked at his food. He had tried to gather himself together, but he was struggling.
“Are you feeling okay?” Takyra asked, her voice filled with concern.
Looking up, his ears flattened as he shrugged. “Not really,” Ardyn admitted. “Everything that’s been going on hit me harder than expected this morning.”
“Takyra, would you mind if Ardyn and I didn’t join you for the tour today?” Jevan asked. “I think the both of us need to go out and get some fresh air. What do you think, Ardyn?”
When Ardyn thought about being back out among the trees, a small thrill ran up his spine. “Yes, I think that’s exactly what I need.”
Giving them both a sympathetic look, Takyra nodded. “I think we can spare you for the day,” Takyra said with a warm smile. “If anything comes up that pertains to your people, Ardyn, I’ll brief you after you return. Please check in with me once you get back, so I know you’re both safe.”
“Thank you,” Jevan said as he stood. He stacked Ardyn’s tray with his and put them away before leading Ardyn back to their quarters.
“You didn’t eat much, so why don’t you replicate some snacks for us?” Jevan suggested. “I’ll replicate a couple of small packs for us to carry them in.”
“Good idea,” Ardyn said, heading into the kitchen. “Can you replicate some waterskins, too?”
“I’ll see what I can find,” Jevan replied.
In the end, they each had a small pack they could carry on their backs, with a blanket, food, and sealed metal containers filled with water. Heading out from the observation tower, it was a sunny, warm, late summer day. Ardyn paid little attention to where Jevan was steering them, as they walked in companionable silence.
Looking around him, Ardyn thought back to his life before he’d found that key and met Jevan. Life had been simple, spending most of his days roaming the forests around Maala’naa. After they had reassigned him to a range that didn’t come close to Medellan lands, his only duty had been to protect the settlement from wild beasts. The hunters that came through his range could take care of themselves and often wanted nothing to do with the troublesome ranger.
A tightness settled into Ardyn’s chest, knowing that his entire life had changed. Everything he’d learned since discovering the Rahn’naa and its inhabitants had shattered whatever innocence he’d had left. While a part of him reveled in all this new knowledge, another part of him mourned the loss of the simpler life he once led.
“How are you handling everything so well?” Ardyn asked, looking up at his tall companion.
Jevan stopped and burst into laughter for a moment, making Ardyn smile.
“Maybe I’m better at hiding it, but I don’t feel like I’ve been handling anything well at all,” Jevan admitted. “I have struggled between anger and this overwhelming sense of loss. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited about everything we’ve discovered and learned… but my life will never be the same.”
“That is exactly the same struggle I have been dealing with,” Ardyn said. “This morning my mind couldn’t focus on what’s ahead. I kept thinking about the past. What I’ve lost. Especially because of all the lies and secrets that were kept.”
“If they had forced me to endure what you had, all because of those damned secrets, I don’t know where my head would be at. Mathias was close to forcing me into a pair-bond. I’d struggle even more with all of it, if I were in a forced pair-bond right now,” Jevan admitted. “I should ask Tomas and Aaron if they know how pair-bonding works, and why we must do it before our thirtieth year. Maybe his people understand it better now?”
“They’ve had eight hundred years to develop unimpeded by my people,” Ardyn said regretfully. “Their flying machine is a wonder I would never have imagined if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. It would have shocked me even more if I’d seen it before we’d discovered the Rahn’naa.”
“I wasn’t even sure there still were people alive in Ateria,” Jevan admitted. “I wondered about it sometimes, but I always assumed they were living the same way we were here in Vestos.”
“Not knowing how much your people’s progress had been repressed, I can see why you would assume that,” Ardyn said, looking up at the sky through the canopy of leaves above them, while some of the tension he’d been feeling eased. “Thank you for suggesting this. It’s all been too much, too fast. It feels good to be back outside again.”
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