Are You Reacting TO LIFE or LIVING IT?

I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.

Look around you, at the intricate beauty and stark pains of this ephemeral human existence we’ve been granted. This is it — our one shot to really live, to experience the kaleidoscope of emotions, sensations, and perspectives that make up the unique tapestry of our lives.

• Will you sleepwalk through it, anesthetized by reactivity and numbing habits?
• Or will you accept the wildness, the unpredictability, the heartbreaks, and raptures of consciously participating in this great cosmic dance?

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” — John Lennon

That poignant quote hits the nail on the head. While reacting is instinctive, living requires intention — a constant recommitment to presence, authenticity, and growth. It’s the difference between a leaf swept along by the current and a salmon persistently swimming upstream.

The Reactive Trance: Caught in the Riptide

Have you ever felt like you’re just going through the motions, trapped in a cycle of knee-jerk reactions? That’s the reactive trance. It’s when life happens to you, rather than you happening to life. And it’s alarmingly easy to slip into this state of semi-consciousness:

• Conditioned Responses: We’re hardwired with ingrained habits and conditioned responses that can turn us into robots on autopilot.
• External Loci of Control: When we attribute our circumstances to external forces beyond our influence, we relinquish our power as the captains of our ships. “I have to…” becomes a self-imposed prison.
• Overwhelm and Avoidance: Confronted with life’s complexities, some react by shutting down, numbing out, or distracting themselves into oblivion — unconscious coping mechanisms that perpetuate the cycle.

The irony is, the more we react, the more we’re acted upon. It’s a self-perpetuating loop that keeps us stuck, stagnant, and increasingly alienated from our authentic selves.

The Mindful Rebellion: Choosing to Truly Live

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Victor Frankl

Here are some insights from those who’ve tasted its liberating essence:

• Observe the Trance: “The first step is awareness,” teaches Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh. By witnessing our reactive patterns with non-judgmental presence, we initiate the process of awakening.
• Respond, Don’t React: In the pause between stimulus and response lies our freedom to choose. Conscious living means interrupting the knee-jerk reaction and responding from a place of presence and alignment with our values.
• Accept Radical Responsibility: When we stop blaming external circumstances and own our power to create our reality, we catalyze profound transformation. As Carl Jung stated,

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

• Practice Mindfulness: Through meditation, journaling, or intentional living exercises, growing present-moment awareness disrupts the reactive trance and anchors us in the richness of each moment.

Living consciously is not about perfection — we all react sometimes. It’s about the intention to wake up, as many times as it takes, and realign with our sovereign power to create our experiences.

The Paradox of Control

“By allowing itself to be itself, the Universe prevails.” -Lao Tzu

One of the great ironies of mindful living is that by surrendering our illusion of control, we reclaim our true power.

Think about it: when you scratch and claw to force situations to unfold according to your expectations, how often does it actually work? Or do you just exhaust yourself battling the universe?

True mastery lies in rolling with the unpredictable currents of life while steering our course with skill. Like a sailor tacking into the wind, those who live consciously use the elemental forces rather than trying to overpower them through sheer force of will.

Conscious living teaches us to:

• Let Go: Surrender breeds creativity and flow.
• Accept Uncertainty: When we make peace with the inherent groundlessness of existence, we free ourselves from the exhausting pursuit of control masquerading as safety.
• Trust the Process

Waking Up: Your Lived Experience Matters

“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

At this point, you may be thinking, “This all sounds great in theory, but how do I apply it to my life?” The beauty is, conscious living is the living experience itself. Each moment presents an opportunity to wake up from the reactive trance and realign with your truest essence:

• When you catch yourself sacrificing presence to anxiously future-project or regress into the past, you can gently return to the breath, to this moment, to what is.
• When you feel anger or reactivity rising in response to a situation, you can pause, observe the emotion without judging it, and choose to respond from a place of mindfulness rather than being hijacked by anger.
• When you find yourself on autopilot, following ingrained routines without awareness, you can stop, drop into the moment, and ask yourself, “Does this action align with my values and vision for my life?”

The practice is simply waking up, as many times as it takes. It’s a didactic process of remembering your true nature as the author of your destiny, not merely a lead actor following a pre-written script.

And yes, there will be lapses, moments when you get caught in the reactive current — that’s the human experience.

The Precious Human Journey

Are you reacting to life? Or are you living it? The answer’s found in your lived experience and your next period of self-reflection. Don’t simply let life act upon you — seize the profound opportunity to co-create your path through conscious participation.

After all, as Joseph Campbell reminded us:

“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

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