Are You Stuck After Leaving the Narcissist?

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Abstract

re forever. Also, don’t begrudge the time you took to heal and catch your breath. You needed to gain strength for the rest of the climb which may be harder than how far you’ve come already.</p><h2 id="e524">Back to Reality</h2><p id="cddd">Why is it more difficult to go the rest of the distance?</p><p id="6f51">Because you know you can live comfortably where you are. You know you have enough and are content. But when you look and see all you are missing out on not getting you realize you want more. <b>You have to want what is above you enough to do the work to get there.</b></p><p id="b3ae">You have to become aware of what you are missing out on. What you are giving up by not moving forward.</p><p id="3370">I want to climb the rest of the way up so I can live in the real world. I want to reclaim all I lost to my past. I want to go for my dreams.</p><p id="999c">I will probably end up on another ledge or two as I journey up and that is okay. I trust the process. I trust myself to know when I am ready for the next step.</p><h2 id="554f">Working Through Stuckness:</h2><ol><li><b>Ask.</b> Why are you still in this place? It can be a good thing and maybe it’s just not time to move on yet. You may need more healing first. Or rest.</li><li><b>Journal.</b> You know this is my go-to for just about everything. It helps us get in touch with ourselves and what is going on within. Spend some time asking yourself why you are still where you are and if it’s time to move on.</li><li><b>Self-Coach.</b> Set up a time to meet with yourself. I give myself time each week to check in on my goals and how the week went. Then I set new goals or change di

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rection if needed.</li><li><b>Ask Again.</b> Are you really stuck? Maybe you’re not and that’s just fine.</li><li><b>Connect with your intuition.</b> Are you just bored or in some kind of trauma response? A good clue is if you have that old feeling of waiting for the next shoe to fall.</li><li><b>Test.</b> Can you make a small change to test if it really is time to do something else? Can you take a baby step forward into the change you think it’s time for? Observe what happens in your body and mind when you make this change. Don’t be afraid to step back if it’s not right for you.</li></ol><h2 id="60cb">The Healing Journey</h2><p id="4494">So much of our healing journey is learning to trust ourselves again. That can be one of the most difficult things to relearn after being in an abusive relationship.</p><p id="f191">How are you doing? Are you stuck or have you had any revelations about yourself lately?</p><p id="fc02">Wishing you the best as you continue to live in freedom and peace,</p><p id="c3db">❤ Julia</p><div id="9f0d" class="link-block"> <a href="https://juliafreemanfree.medium.com/learning-to-believe-in-yourself-3d6c1e1f7b2a"> <div> <div> <h2>Learning to Believe in Yourself</h2> <div><h3>After you have been torn down by others for years</h3></div> <div><p>juliafreemanfree.medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*M9YFq0PdOLWKH0YP)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Your New Reality

You’ve already gone through so much by leaving an abusive relationship. Your whole life has changed.

When you first left everything was chaotic. It took months, years even to get to the place of calm and peace you now live in. But, you begin to wonder if you should be doing more. If you should make some changes.

How do you know when it is time to move on from the safe place you have made for yourself? And what do you need to change?

Revelation

I recently had a revelation about where I am in my healing journey.

I was in a deep, dark pit and climbed up to a ledge which, I thought was the real world. Turns out it was just a pleasant landing space with grass, flowers, and stunted trees.

I finally got enough rest to look up and realize I am still on my way out of the pit.

I think sometimes we need to reach a pleasant landing place to recover and rebuild before we get back to work climbing out of our dark place.

The important thing is to not be fooled by pleasant scenery so that we stay there forever. Also, don’t begrudge the time you took to heal and catch your breath. You needed to gain strength for the rest of the climb which may be harder than how far you’ve come already.

Back to Reality

Why is it more difficult to go the rest of the distance?

Because you know you can live comfortably where you are. You know you have enough and are content. But when you look and see all you are missing out on not getting you realize you want more. You have to want what is above you enough to do the work to get there.

You have to become aware of what you are missing out on. What you are giving up by not moving forward.

I want to climb the rest of the way up so I can live in the real world. I want to reclaim all I lost to my past. I want to go for my dreams.

I will probably end up on another ledge or two as I journey up and that is okay. I trust the process. I trust myself to know when I am ready for the next step.

Working Through Stuckness:

Ask. Why are you still in this place? It can be a good thing and maybe it’s just not time to move on yet. You may need more healing first. Or rest.

Journal. You know this is my go-to for just about everything. It helps us get in touch with ourselves and what is going on within. Spend some time asking yourself why you are still where you are and if it’s time to move on.

Self-Coach. Set up a time to meet with yourself. I give myself time each week to check in on my goals and how the week went. Then I set new goals or change direction if needed.

Ask Again. Are you really stuck? Maybe you’re not and that’s just fine.

Connect with your intuition. Are you just bored or in some kind of trauma response? A good clue is if you have that old feeling of waiting for the next shoe to fall.

Test. Can you make a small change to test if it really is time to do something else? Can you take a baby step forward into the change you think it’s time for? Observe what happens in your body and mind when you make this change. Don’t be afraid to step back if it’s not right for you.