Summary

The article emphasizes the importance of obtaining a "second yes" to ensure commitment and follow-through in professional interactions, especially in a global and multicultural workplace.

Abstract

The article addresses the common issue of unfulfilled commitments in the workplace, which can lead to frustration and damage trust and reliability. It highlights a cultural blindspot where an initial "yes" may not guarantee action due to a strong desire to maintain relationships and please others. The concept of the "second yes" is introduced as a crucial step to confirm that the person understands the request, has the necessary resources, is aware of the timeframe, and foresees no obstacles. This approach is recommended for effective delegation and building reliability, particularly in diverse work environments.

Opinions

The author suggests that a quick "yes" in response to a request may not always lead to action, especially in cultures that prioritize relationships.
A "maybe," "I'll try," or any non-committal response should be interpreted as a "no" and requires further clarification to ensure commitment.
The "second yes" is a method to verify that the other party has fully understood the request, possesses the resources to complete it, acknowledges the deadline, and anticipates no issues that could prevent delivery.
This technique is not only useful for managing direct reports but also for anyone looking to improve their delegation skills and foster a more reliable team dynamic.
The article implies that the lack of a "second yes" can result in missed deadlines, empty promises, and a breakdown in professional relationships.

Are you not Getting What you Asked for?

You might be missing an important step. This can help.

How many times have you been disappointed, left in a bind, or angry that someone didn’t follow through on a commitment or promise?

This is one of the most common breakdowns I hear when I work with teams. And it can be costly to trust and reliability.

There is a common blindspot that shows up in our global, multi-cultural workplaces. Often, the resulting breakdown that frustrates you comes from something you missed.

You may need to take an extra step. Occasionally, you need to get what I call the “second yes”.

As you have probably experienced, many cultures place a high value on the relationship. There is a strong desire to please, attend, honor you, or at the very least, convey a “can-do” intention. So, when asked to do something for you, the immediate answer is often a strong, resounding “Yes”! It sounds like everything is all set. The person is on board, and you can feel comfortable crossing this item off your to-do list.

And then, you get blindsided. The day and time of the deadline arrives — and … nothing. Angrily, you call up and get what sounds to you like a rash of excuses. As you listen, something dawns on you that from the very beginning it was never going to happen. Were you hoodwinked? Did he or she lie to you? Is this just another empty promise? Maybe. But, maybe not.

This is often what happens. You speed through your tasks, aiming to capture a quick “yes”. Flash forward to the time of the delivery. You are ready and waiting. What happens? Nothing. You’re waiting for that report, and it’s down to minutes before stepping into the director’s meeting. You’re alone in the teleconference room, wondering where everyone is? Or you are standing on a tarmac waiting for a car in the middle of the night.

I call this not getting the second yes. The second “yes” is the one that confirms the other person will actually follow through.

Warning!

If the response to your ask is a “Maybe”, “I’ll try”, “probably”, “I think so”, stop. You best translate those as No’s. If it is not a firm yes, then it is a No. Do not walk away. There is more to do here. You need a second yes.

The second “yes” is the one that confirms the other person will actually follow through.

I advise my clients to do the following:

When they suspect they may be getting a “yes” to their requests that are too quick, or is a relational please kind of “Yes”, do the following:

1. Thank the person for the initial yes, sending the message that you are grateful they have a desire and intention to help you.

2. Then ask for confirmation of these follow-up questions that confirm in that they:

Understand what the request actually entails.
Have the resources to fulfill the request.
Understand the timeframe.
Know of no surprises that can threaten delivery as promised.

This also works well in situations with direct reports who may be new, quick to please, or simply believing in blind obedience. If you are wanting to build reliability and be able to delegate more, these same questions can help.

Remember:

1. The first yes translates into “Yes, I’d like to do that for you.”

2. The second yes is the confirmation, “the handshake”. Be sure you get it.

Are there outstanding commitments that you now may need to check for that second YES?

Have you had this experience? I welcome your thoughts, experiences, and questions.

Originally published from my webpage: http://davidschoof.com/2018/08/sometimes-you-need-a-second-yes/