The Daily Write

Are You My Mentor?

An abridged and re-told children’s story

Finding a mentor can be hard.

I’ve long had a fantasy about having a mentor who sees my potential and helps me open doors. But because I’m a kind of private person and feel an imperative to respect other people’s space, I don’t often speak up around the writers that I deeply admire.

Once a famous poet said to me, “but I like it when my students reach out to me.” She wasn’t my teacher, though she sometimes comments on my Facebook posts — which makes me beam.

Do you think I ever asked her to read one of my poems?

No.

But she probably would, if I asked.

The asking is the hardest part.

Having a mentor is personal, not unlike looking for a mother.

Little Bird, still so young and hopeful!

Where does one find a mentor? Do you hire a coach? Make a friend? Go to graduate school? How does it work?

Take risks! Be brave!

And scary too! People will see you fall! How do you know who will take you on, if you don’t know what questions to ask?

But, having a cat to cuddle while you angst over your future destiny, might be therapeutic.

We reach out to the people and critters who are in the easiest reach first. They are not always helpful, but they can be kind and encouraging!

Yeah, unfortunately, cows aren’t much help either.

By which I mean…

Have I found a mentor? Yes? No?

Last summer, in a stroke of desperation, I found a woman who I paid to nurture me. It was better than going to a counselor, and all she did was affirm the path I was on.

Around the same time, an old teacher reached out to me and we’ve been meeting ever since. His friendship has meant the world to me.

When I’m around other writers, in the flesh, I feel awkward. Star-struck. Numb.

So many of us enjoy Medium because it bypasses traditional barriers to publication and, damn, it’s so fun to see people making their writing lives happen on their own terms.

We don’t mentor each other, per se, but we cheer each other on.

And it feels good.

Which is just enough to keep writing.

Key Message: Be brave! Ask people you admire for help! You never know who might be the right match for you as a mentor.

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