Are you mindful when masturbating?
Especially if you aren’t a fan of meditation
Will you share what porn you search for when masturbating? Most won’t because we fear that we will be judged heavily and no one can look us in the eyes ever again.
Let’s talk about masturbation as a mindful activity!
Free and cheerful
There are two mindful activities that are entirely free, and you can do in anywhere as long as you are not disturbed — yes, meditation and masturbation.
Old Hindu scripture Kama Sutra considers sexuality to be part of the four main goals of life, along with virtue (dharma), prosperity (artha), and enlightenment (moksha). Even the Bible has talked about sex positively — check out the mysterious book Song of Songs!
Historically we have suppressed our desires due to fear of what people might think of us and whatnot, but you can’t control an untamed monster.
So it’s better to learn to tame it and make it a nourishing part of our lives.
Here’s how!
Mindful masturbation
Frankly, it’s the same as what you are used to doing, and if you haven’t masturbated before, I strongly recommend you do it. Hey! It’s a Sunday, a perfect day to masturbate. 😉
- 🏩 Set up your space nicely: which part of your home gives you the most privacy and also calms you down? Your bed? Office? Bathtub? Closet? Close the door and maybe light a candle or incense. Have your tissue, lube, and water ready if you need them. We don’t want the chaos after taking away the zen we built up from masturbation.
- 🙈 No porn: Research finds that the over-abundance of choices on pornography websites negatively affects our ability to connect with our bodies, partners, and orgasms. I know many of us have masturbated with porn since the beginning of time, but I ask you for an open mind.
- 🖖🏻 Focus on the touch: In your most comfortable position, close your eyes and just do what you normally do. Explore the sensation arising from both your intimate area and your hand/finger(s). Observe your breathing. Does it get faster, heavier, or calmer? Observe the other parts of your body too, typically we experience tickles on our head, neck, chest, lower back, calves and toes, but it could be anywhere for you.
- 😇 Patience: it will take longer than using porn to reach orgasm, but why the rush? It’s supposed to be a self-care, relaxing experience, so take your time. We don’t need an overloaded sensory to reach climax. You are enough to satisfy your needs.
I probably should be it upfront, as a woman, my longest orgasm from mindful masturbation was four hours🤯. This doesn’t mean I was screaming for four hours (definitely not keep coming for men, ouch, no!)
I feel powerful and sexy even after I have resumed everyday activities. There was a new experience of the vigor that was surreal and irreplaceable by any other activities.
Sex and moderation
You know my principle is always about moderation. Many of us have an unhealthy relationship with sex because we can’t talk about it to anyone, overdoing or underdoing it.
This is why sex is not a time when we are outside our spiritual selves and become kinky perverts. We might have all sorts of fantasies, and that’s cool, but in moderated doses, it can also be a nourishing experience that gives us power and energy.
Give it a try; there’s no cost!
✉️Subscribe to my newsletter here — I am calling especially on men who think porn is essential and women who have never touched themselves before. Please, touch yourself with mindfulness!
