Are You Listening? We are all surrounded by 4 kinds of listeners
Which one are you?
We are losing good listeners faster than the glaciers.
As human beings, every one of us needs someone with whom we can share our feelings, discuss something personal, speak our hearts out and help get the garbage out.
I am sure everyone must have gone through a phase when merely talking about something that is causing stress, has eased the stress to a great level.
For that to happen, we need Active Listeners.
Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening than talking. — Bernard Baruch
But imagine an encounter similar to what I had:
Friend: “Need to get a good pair of shoes for myself. Thinking of getting it online”
Me: “I went to a store in the city and saw there is a 50% Sale On. And it is genuine!”
Friend: “Hmm. Ok”
Me: “Do you want to go there?”
Friend: “Sorry?”
Me: “Do you want to go to that store?”
Friend: “Sorry, which store?”
Me: “Never mind”
Has this happened to you? If it did, you know it's a big turn-off.
After pondering over this for a while, I started observing different types of listeners that we are surrounded by.
We are all unique but if I had to group the listeners into broad types, I would create 4 such categories:
1. Selective Listeners
When the topic is about them, they will continue investing their time in listening to you. But as soon as you start giving your opinion about something or you start narrating your version of the events, they will get distracted and make you realize they are not interested at all.
In some cases, they won’t even let you finish your statements. Instead, they would raise their voice to make you stop.
2. The Ignorers
This species is fast-growing and will soon outnumber the normals. The most insulting lot of all.
They will keep their phones in hand and not let any notifications go unnoticed.
The worst encounter I had was when I started talking about the death of one of my friends, the other person laughed looking at a notification on their phone!
I was fuming from inside. Didn’t know how to respond.
3. The Responders
The responders have preconceived opinions and notions about literally everything.
The Responders are quite good with their expressions and appear to be concentrating hard on what you are saying.
They are good actors. They are not listening, they are just pretending to. Quitely at the back of their minds, they are building responses. Or worse, they have already thought about how they will react even before talking to you.
No matter what you say, they are not going to change.
They may respectfully wait for you to finish and then Boom!
4. The Active Listeners
Active listeners are seen as patient, empathetic, and kind individuals. They are the hardest to find.
If you have an active listener around you with whom you can share your issues/problems, you have already got half a solution.
I have a personal theory (not supported by any scientific research) that the more amount of good listeners one surrounds with, the happier the person would be.
Conclusion
Be an active listener for the people you care about. They need you. Try these things to become an active listener:
- Avoid distractions — The phone notifications can wait. Give 100% of your attention.
- Hold your judgments and advice — Give them only when asked for.
- Ask questions appropriately — Go deeper to understand them better.
Enjoyed reading these articles today
- By Judy Walker
2. By Christine Bernard
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