Are You Leading a Life of Quiet Submission? Live a Life of Unparalleled Explosiveness

Safely break out from your shackles

Do you ever have moments of wanting to go full William Foster?

Year after year. Decade after decade. Never getting what you want has created a low leave sense of life dissatisfaction and frustration.

Life has become a series of uncomfortable smiles.

In the movie Falling Down, Michael Douglas’s character is an unemployed engineer. Who becomes stuck in traffic on a hot day. He leaves his car to get to the other side of town. Where his ex-wife has organized a birthday party for his daughter.

On his sojourn across L.A.:

He destroys a convenience store with a baseball bat when the owner refuses to give change for a phone call.
Shoots a gang member who tried to mug him.
Is refused access to ordering from the breakfast menu, because it’s lunchtime, at a restaurant. And “accidentally” shoots into the ceiling.
Shoots up a phone booth because someone is pressuring him to finish up his call.
Used a rocket launcher to blow up a construction site because the workers were lazy and carrying unnecessary road works.

Douglas gave the following account of his character:

“There’s a lot of people who are a paycheck away from being on the streets and being out of work who did everything right, they’ve been responsible, they tried hard, [and] they don’t know what went wrong! We won the war, where’s it all at?”

Have you led a life:

Within the rules
Put forward maximum efforts
Been a nice person

But the results have made you left feeling:

Unsatisfied
Downtrodden
Frustrated

Here’s how to work smarter, not harder.

Put yourself there

When you give expression to internal desires, impulses, and dreams through action in the world, you are happy.

When you hold back from expressing yourself, internal pressure builds. This accumulates over time. These accumulated frustrations may:

Cause you to overreact to trivial matters
Decrease your wellbeing
Causing the gap between your ideal life and real-life situation to widen.

I went through 20 years of delivering unnecessary apologies.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry.”

Someone would walk in front of me and I would apologize to them. In a work meeting, someone would cut me off mid-sentence and I would apologize to them.

In reaction to not expressing myself, I would appear like a duck on water. Calm exterior, but lots of negative thoughts running through my mind.

Stop saying sorry and say what needs to be said.

Your life will change by people treating you differently. And your mind will be at peace at night from not replaying how you wanted to behave.

Your life will dynamically change.

Little but big

I am hesitant about making large-scale changes. But I know I wanted to make improvements in my life but without the enormous risks and frustrations.

So instead, I made 1% marginal gains, across multiple channels which resulted in life-changing results.

Make micro changes to a lot of areas of your life.

Get up 30 minutes earlier so you can exercise. Ride your bike when going to the local shops. Buy a better pillow to get an improved sleep. Cut up your credit card. Smile at people. Turn off your phone at night.

This method will improve your decision-making ability. Decrease risks. And requires little effort.

“Success is a few simple disciplines, practiced every day; while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day.” — Jim Rohn

What are your 1% improvements in life?

Say no

Avoid unnecessary mind chatter by making a decision not to think about things until an appropriate time.

When I get overwhelmed or if I am about to go to bed, I stay to myself in a firm tone, “I am not going to think about this now.” It’s better to be aware of your thoughts. Then consciously ignore the busyness of the mind when appropriate.

Giving time and consideration to things when appropriate greatly improves your life.

Draw a line in the sand

When you assert yourself, you are more than likely to get what you want. If you don’t, you are more than likely not to get what you want.

“Damian, there is never a time NOT to assert yourself,” said my Cognitive Behavioural therapist 18 years ago.

When you get what you want, your inner Christmas lights glow. If you don’t, the power switch is flicked off. Your inner lights are dim and so is your mood.

I have come to accept that I like spending a few hours only around people. Beyond that, I get tired. Initially, I was envious of those I saw on social media leading active social lives. When my friends wanted to spend longer periods together, I went through a process of asserting my boundaries — respectfully.

When you assert your boundaries, the direction of your life takes an upward trajectory.

Don’t allow your life to be a continual series of disappointments.

Instead:

Express yourself freely
Marginal gains
Say no to the unnecessary demands of your mind
Assert your boundaries

Now is the time to lead a dynamic life.