Are You Holding Yourself Back From Sharing Your Story?

Let go of the fear and dive head first

From the moment I stepped onto this platform, I divulged a lot. Maybe too much at times but I came from a place of hiding. I was a fake, living as a fraud for most of my adult life.

There were two of me: the mom with a perfect family and admirable job and the bipolar alcoholic woman.

Only a few people in my private life knew about the other me. Most of my other friends and acquaintances did not.

When did it start?

So, after I hit a year of sobriety, I decided that I wanted to write and share my story. I used a distinct pen name so I could still hide a little bit from people I knew in person.

It became easy for me to share everything with strangers. I believed that if I was honest and genuine that I might be able to help others that were struggling.

That is what helped me when I was newly sober and throughout the entire first year. I devoured hundreds of pages of quit lit, listened to countless hours of podcasts, and journaled all my thoughts and feelings.

When I started to think about writing, I knew that I had a story to share. I’ve had a crazy, chaotic, traumatic, happy, and joyous life.

Those definitely do not all go together but that is how my life has been. It’s been full of joy and sorrow. I went through a lot, destructed a lot, and felt so much joy in between.

Even though I am bipolar (but medicated now), had extensive years of drinking and drugging, and lived through a lot of chaos, I do think I am a grounded individual now. I have deep compassion and empathy towards others and am very sensitive but strong.

I like myself for the first time in my life and I am proud of my story. I am proud of where I am now because of what it took to get here.

I still worry a little about being “found out”. Mainly from those in my community like other moms and friends at yoga. It’s only my core group that knows the depths of me. The rest know that I don’t drink and they don’t ask or know why.

I am sure if they do end up finding my Medium account, it won’t be the end of the world. That’s why I keep doing what I’ve been doing, sharing my story.

What’s holding you back?

I see this quite often on Medium, from people who have pen names and no pictures but are nervous to share their stories.

I think that is the perfect way to start sharing it, anonymously. But, who am I to say what this person has gone through or why they are holding back?

Do you think that it takes confidence to share your story?

Are you holding back because of fear?

It is so easy to second guess yourself and every decision that you make online. Anyone can read Medium. Sure, you have to pay to read more but you do get a few stories for free.

You can use the fear to your advantage. It is scary to bare your soul. To be naked for everyone to see.

Your trauma, dark secrets, addictions, abuse, or anything else that you hold close to your heart is also damaging and that is scary.

But also, an audience connects with your vulnerability. These stories are my favorite to read. If someone is being honest, genuine, and real, I want more.

I am not one to opt for self-help or a listicle and if I do, I am usually bored through the entire story. Sorry to those that write these, and some of you are my fellow favorites, but I am not drawn to these.

Those articles sell, and people are out there trying to make themselves better or figure out their life, so they turn to an article with the title “How To Make Money by Doing Nothing” or “How To Be a Successful Person”.

How to be a successful person? Really? Anything I click on like this says the same shit, in a different format. They are boring to me but they sell to others. Most of it is all common sense that isn’t applied.

Are those the authors that are holding back from sharing their stories?

Maybe.

We live in a society where we are fearful of the shame that we might endure if we tell dark secrets about our lives.

But, by sharing our shame and the hard stories, we might make someone else feel a little less alone. So, if you are holding onto trauma and think you are the only one that feels a certain way, you are sadly mistaken.

Details of your story may be unique but I guarantee someone out there feels exactly the same way that you do. By reading your story and how you managed to gather the strength to share it, there is much comfort gained.

Life is all about connection and it is possible to connect through reading and writing.

I will continue to share my stories, even though I do have fears of being “found out”. The pros outweigh the cons and I would eventually get over it if someone in my personal life read what I shared.

It won’t be the end of the world. I’d get through it and most likely you would, too.

Shame no longer has a permanent residence in my head because I’ve been able to share my story. I am proud of who I am and it’s all because of what I’ve gone through.

So, if you have been contemplating getting real and letting it all hang out, I think this is the place to do it.

Share your story. Be real. Be genuine and I guarantee that it will help someone else.

Start another account if you need real anonymity.

The release and therapy of writing are real and I am living proof.

Also, please tag me if you are sharing the down and dirty of you. I’d love to read it.

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Thanks for reading!

Much love, Michele