Are You Guilty of Christmas Shaming? Would You Break the 7 Holy Commandments of Christmas?
This year I spent Christmas day alone and it was………
I know many of you are waiting for me to say I was crushed under the weight of sadness. Maybe you want to hear that I was really lonely and I stayed in bed all day. Or, I felt suicidal because I was so depressed at having no mates or family to spend time with. Nope, I didn’t feel any of those things.
Nor did I cry myself through Christmas classics like Love Actually whilst comfort eating tubs of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, knocking back the vino and simultaneously wondering what I could possibly have done wrong to be abandoned by everyone at Christmas.
Come on peeps! Get real will you! I didn’t do any of that!
The truth is I was alone at Christmas because I chose to be. Yep that’s right! I chose to be!!! Shock, horror, sharp intake of breath at the audacity of someone choosing to be alone on Christmas Day.
So how was it?
Well before I tell you that let’s just get into this whole Christmas shaming thing that’s going on.
Christmas Shaming
Confessing to being alone at Christmas is a bit like having to confess you are a drug addict, a sex addict, an alcoholic, or an ex-con. The guilt and the shame are monumental! Once you have plucked up the courage to sheepishly whisper your confession, one of two things will happen: There will be an intervention or you will acquire social leprosy and be ostracized.
An Intervention.
The Do-gooders will attempt an immediate rescue to save you from the perils of spending Christmas day alone. When they hear of your terrible plight the do-gooders will feel great pity for you and as good citizens they will feel duty bound to step in and rescue you. They might not really like you but they will be compelled to invite you for dinner. You accept this invitation at your peril because during the meal they will never let you forget how nice they have been to rescue you. They will dine out on this story for years and will take every opportunity to tell everyone how sorry they felt for you and how they had to rescue you from being alone at Christmas. After all, no one should be alone at Christmas. Although it is perfectly acceptable to be alone for the other 364 days of the year.
A Dose of Social Leprosy.
You will magically acquire Social leprosy overnight. People will become super confused when you tell them you want to spend Christmas alone. They will suddenly cut off all communication because they really don’t quite know what to say to you. After all, it’s just not normal is it? Christmas is Christmas and everyone is expected to follow the 7 Christmas commandments even if they are illogical.
The 7 Holy Christmas Commandments
- Always expect a perfect Christmas and get upset when it isn’t.
- Force yourself to stay in the same room as people you really can’t stand so you can ignore them and hate them for the next 364 days.
- Practice your best fake smile so no one can tell that you don’t like the stupid present they bought you.
- Always go into debt buying presents so you can brag about it later.
- Make sure you buy food on credit because it makes for better instagram photos and gives you more to complain about.
- Go on a Black Friday shopping splurge and buy more than usual because you’re getting a bargain.
- Book a holiday to get over the stress of Christmas.
Be honest, what was the first thing you thought of when I said I was alone at Christmas? Was it;
- She’s a loser.
- She’s got no friends.
- She’s a weirdo.
- She must be unlovable.
Did you judge me harshly?
Or did you envy me for having the courage to just say no?
Expectations run high at Christmas. People want the perfect Christmas. This means lavish food & drinks, the glamorous outfit, a picture perfect tree and of course uber expensive presents that most recipients don’t want. But Christmas rarely lives up to the hype and according to YouGov UK in a 2019 poll 71% of cash strapped Brits said they were more stressed by Christmas. Which is probably why EVERY YEAR you will find a slew of articles all telling you how to survive Christmas financially and emotionally.
I know the traditional thing to do is spend time with people you love, friends you care about and relatives you haven’t seen for a long time. You are supposed to look gorgeous and then eat too much food, drink too much booze, open expensive presents and document it all on social media.
I just didn’t want that. I could have bought a really expensive plane ticket and traveled to spend time with my family but I didn’t. I chose not to follow the masses and instead spend some quiet time alone just recharging and rebalancing without any pressures.
By coincidence three of my close friends all chose to do the same thing.
It struck me as very odd because we are all of a similar age and we had all the same experiences around Christmas.
I grew up in a society where Christmas meant being together with the family, having Christmas lunch, sitting down for the Queen’s speech and watching the Christmas movie on the box otherwise known as a TV.
As the years passed and commercialism became the goal of the century, Christmas became much less about real true connection and much more about how much stuff you could acquire. How many presents you got and how much they cost were the hot topics of conversation.
Facebook and other social media platforms added another dimension and suddenly you had to post photos of food, your tree, the wonderful clothes you were wearing and all the super glamorous people you were with.
Right about this time is when I became aware of what I like to call Christmas shaming.
Tree not big enough — shame
Not enough champagne — shame
No expensive presents — shame
When I announced I would spend Christmas Day alone I felt ashamed. I felt the burden of being judged and found guilty of breaking the 7 Holy Commandments of Christmas. It took me by surprise at first but I quickly got my head around it and understood that by breaking the 7 holy Christmas Commandments I was holding up a mirror and showing others the cracks. Deep down people know there has to be a better way of connecting and they know that it shouldn’t be about the presents and the money, the photos and the stress. I represent change and change is scary!
So how was my Christmas Day?
It was perfect!
I had a truly blissful day that was filled with love, gratitude, peace and harmony.
Would I do it again?
Yes of course I would. I would be bloody mad not to!
Live Strong Love & Prosper
And comment below or message me if you have any opinions on this.
