Are You Entering a Grocery Store Sans Mask and Fully Vaccinated, Or Going on Your First-Ever Naked Run at a Nude Beach?

This is fine. I even saw a sign. This is allowed.

1. Right away, you look around to make sure you aren’t the only one showing this much skin. You’re not. Phew!

2. You continue to look around from time to time to see if there are other people there who are more covered-up than you are. There are. Uh oh!

3. You’re low-key afraid of being harshly judged by those people, but you nervously continue going about your business as planned.

4. You keep getting this eerie feeling that maybe you’re breaking a law, but you keep reminding yourself, “No I’m not. This is fine. I even saw a sign. This is allowed.”

5. You feel exposed, but you can’t quite figure out if it’s exposed in-a-good-way, or exposed in-a-bad way.

6. You keep thinking to yourself, “Freedom at last!” while simultaneously hoping you’re not making other people uncomfortable.

7. It’s like you can really feel that crisp, breezy, fresh air on your skin better than you ever have before, in your entire life.

8. When people steer clear of you, you anxiously wonder if it’s because they’re grossed out by you, or if they’re simply practicing social distancing.

9. You remember that you should probably buy some more sunscreen. After all, now you have a more bare skin to protect from the sun’s harmful UV rays.

10. After this, you’re definitely going to want to stop for an ice cream cone.

11. You wonder if you should, perhaps, cover up a bit more at the ice cream stand; but then you immediately think, “Nah. I’m sure this will be allowed there too. Probably. I think.”

12. You resolve to bring something to cover up with, just in case.

Key:

1–12: Entering a Grocery Store Sans Mask and Fully Vaccinated

1–12: Going on Your First-Ever Naked Run at a Nude Beach

Kerry Reynolds is a Massachusetts Creative Writing teacher who writes her own stuff sometimes. Words: Points in Case, The Belladonna, Daily Drunk, etc. Follow her! @KWebbyRey. Really. She’s new to Twitter and gets V excited about followers.