Are You Afraid to Chase Your Dream?

If so, tell me why in the comments

During my divorce someone from the OWN Network emailed me. They had read my national column on Beliefnet. Oprah was going to be interviewing someone I had written about on Super Soul Sunday.

I recently shared this story with friends.

“Someone from the OWN Network got in touch with you?” they said. “And you never carried through?!”

“It was a terrible time in my life,” I said. “I regret it but I wasn’t myself.”

I hadn’t been discovered by Oprah. I wish. I could certainly use what is known as the ‘Oprah Effect’ in my professional life. Especially since I am divorce Barbie and Ken took off with the country camper, our Malibu beach house, and everything else.

It was their communications team so it was more of a PR pitch.

It was still a thrill. Someone at OWN had found me. They read my words. Again, to be fair, I had just written about Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith of Agape International Spiritual Center.

The point?

My overt dream was to be a writer. My covert dream a motivational speaker. A spiritually inspired one. Someone who offers transformative thinking on topics. The kinda people Oprah discovers. At the very least, awful time or not I should have fostered communication.

But there was something greater than hard times holding me back…FEAR.

I defied odds when my first article was published in Washingtonian Magazine.

Before the world of writing platforms, the percentages did not favor writers, especially in larger markets. Back then, roughly ninety-eight percent of people were rejected.

I once read an interview with actress Sharon Stone. She was asked how she endured years of rejections. I paraphrase her response, “I was smart enough to know rejection was only one person’s opinion.”

Her words resonated, I no longer ingested every ‘no’ as a literary fatality.

They say it’s easy to identify your dream or greatest talent. When you observe something and believe you can do it better. Or when you spend hours doing something and it feels like minutes have passed. Or a certain something makes you feel alive.

Pinpointing a dream isn’t complicated, pursuing it is.

The reason is universal.

One ugly but powerful four-letter word. FEAR.

The word may be short and concise but it packs a punch. Fear of putting ourselves out there. Fear of risk. Fear of failure. Fear of imposter syndrome. This can be accompanied by internal fear, self-doubt, self-dialogue, and self-inhibitions.

We convince ourselves dreams are a luxury to be feared.

I accomplished one dream but not the other.

My writing/motivational dream involves television work. I have a background in marketing, journalism, and PR. I once worked as a contractor at an NBC Baltimore affiliate. I have friends who are reporters. This space is not entirely unfamiliar to me. I shouldn’t find it intimidating yet I do.

I’ve even avoided videos on social media.

Like most dreamers, I have convenient excuses. I want to lose the weight I gained during my divorce. I haven’t wholly solidified the message I want to convey. I’m just getting back to my old self. I don’t want to do camera work until my natural personality conveys. Yadda, yadda, and more yadda’s.

My true fear isn’t any of the above.

It’s self-promotion.

I find it uncomfortable.

I rarely quote ‘Ken’ my ex-husband but Barbie needs to make a point. He would say I made the impossible happen. I could get people in magazines, newspapers, and on television. Or a book deal with a major publisher. I could reverse $10,000 monthly losses. I could raise money for charity and get celebrity sponsors.

“Why didn’t I do the same for myself?’

I know the answer. Intrinsically, it was rewarding to do things for others and promote their work. If I believe in someone I am an indomitable salesperson.

Self-promotion feels arrogant to me.

A divorce compounded my already present hesitation. I was no longer feeling comfortable in my own skin. The weight is the external factor. The brutality of a financially and emotionally abusive elongated divorce is an internal factor.

It broke my spirit.

I no longer felt like ‘me.’

My friends shook their heads at my OWN moment. Then they called me out. They asked what I am waiting for. I began with my excuses. But ended with the truth.

I feared self-promotion when I was exuberant and outgoing.

I truly fear it now.

Are you afraid to chase your dreams?

If so, tell me why in the comments.