Are You a Stone Collector?

If Life’s Clutter is Weighing You Down ~ There’s an Answer

Stone Collectors

I am not a stone collector.

Through the years, I have become close to masterful at minimizing my ‘stuff.’ Physical goods and mental junk were problematic.

I took action.

I adopted a mindset that if I haven’t used something in a year or so, it would be time to give it a new home. My ex-husband hated that philosophy.

But, really, white shoes? We were in our early 30’s and they were the first pair I had ever really seen in person. They were white leather but not for golf, or purposeful for a sport. They reminded me of a dapper and elderly Southern gentleman’s footwear to go with a seersucker suit. To a garden party or tea, maybe?

But we weren’t southern. We weren’t elderly. We weren’t even genteel. We didn’t drink tea and if he already had a seersucker suit, I hadn’t discovered it, yet.

It was somehow my responsibility to keep moving the shoes with the 900 other items my ex just couldn’t part with as I frequently reorganized our closet.

“They are really good shoes, though.”

My plea to move them along to someone who could actually wear them, before they suffered dry rot, lasted the better part of 3 years.

Some things become obvious trash, some can be repurposed and some can be donated.

Holding onto, and collecting, unused items not only clutters your home but your brain.

Sentimental items have their own place and I will revisit them on rainy days. I consider them in a different category from an unused item.

I was uncomfortable living with things we didn’t need and would never use.

It’s much easier since the divorce.

Some people are quite the opposite and require bigger, better, and more. I don’t begrudge this philosophy but I also purposely don’t choose it.

I have seen it first hand. People lose sight of what should be appreciated, valued, and, quite frankly, what should matter the most in life.

I call these people stone collectors for good reason.

Stone Collectors

Any chance they get, they will grab handfuls of ‘stones’ and even fill their pockets if necessary. This can go much further than material goods, too. Stone collectors may also collect people.

It takes a lot of effort to build their pile of stones. I wonder if they think whoever has the biggest pile wins.

And, wins what?

If they amass money, clothes, houses, cars, toys, or even furnishings what does it mean for them? They must find comfort in being surrounded by, looking at, and admiring their things. They will collect people.

A need to collect people screams insecurity to me.

They need to be surrounded by plenty of superficial, or surface relationships. Big numbers, or followers, have an ability to bolster people’s egos who, apparently, need these outside affirmations to feel popular.

Hollow affirmations are never healthy nor long-lasting.

Collecting stones will cloud your vision, clutter your brain, and overload your senses.

And weigh you down, no?

Stone Collectors do not measure loyalty, honesty, or ethics. As they grab, enfold and hypnotize their semi-masses, it seems the only requirement is that their clan acquiesce. It’s all about the show.

More and more people and things.

They will have defectors who will quickly be replaced by the more pliable people. Bigger and better stones will be found.

How unfortunate that stone collectors will overlook the true gems in the frenzy of collecting. It is both bizarre and unsettling to watch and yet, it transcends time, I suppose.

There is no greater joy for me than to see someone break away from this stone collector mindset.

Not only can it happen but I have just recently been ‘witness’ to yet another cleansing of the mind, spirit, and soul.

I was chatting with my son about a lot of things and also about nothing in particular. He casually mentioned how much lighter he felt. He had decided a couple of weeks prior that it was time to minimize his crap.

He realized he had too much of, well, everything.

After he purged the extra, unused items, he felt clean.

His brain became more organized.

Not only was he physically less bogged down, but he was also mentally clearer. He liked coming home to his made bed, no piles of laundry on the floor and nothing to spill out into the family room. Less stress.

He was proud.

I was proud.

I suspect our pride came from different origins but we both had mountains of pride.

He was proud knowing his home was presentable and clean if someone dropped by. He was proud that his goals in 2021 had to start with this specific revamping and he did it.

He also turned his back on social media so he could better focus on his life plans. Not a forever, too restrictive move, just one to allow him to breathe again until he may, or may not, want to factor it back into his life.

Social Media was a huge stone and was weighing him down.

He had realized that his screen time was aiding and abetting in the creation of false Gods and he was tired of the fake fronts of perfection. He knew it was a distraction for him and, so, he removed it. The recognition that “followers” on social media also means nothing in the scheme of real life.

Yet another heavy stone was removed from his pile.

Selfishly, I am excited.

As the world becomes more and more plastic, more superficial, and materialistic, I love each time a new member joins this club.

Stone Removal Club

The members are people who understand that one genuine person in your life far outweighs 20 fair-weather ones.

By minimizing ‘things’ or extraneous people, stress is decreased.

Welcomed are the people who have reached the understanding that gluttony becomes an albatross around the neck.

Hoarded ‘treasures’ can be used by those that lack them.

Simplicity is embraced.

Members are people who don’t require outside affirmations based on possessions.

Members recognize and value quality over quantity.

Members keep life simple and clean, allowing the light to replace the once heavy and darkened mind, body, and soul.

• Authors Note: This story was modified from an original blog entry, “Stone Collectors” which was posted 01/2020.

Are You Weighed Down?

Allow yourself to fly, unencumbered.

It’s never too late to start.