Are We Safer When We Script Our Life With A Filter?

What happens when we drop the pretense?

Photographers like to produce precise, crisp images. There are times when they might use a lens filter for effect.

They may use a Color/Warming/Cooling filter that can correct colors, subtract colors, or block one type of color, allowing other colors to become visible. A Close-Up filter enables the lens to focus closer on subjects, like a bee on a flower. Sometimes, you will see Special Effects filters such as a softening/diffusion filter that creates a dreamy quality.

In life, we apply filters to ourselves and others. It is sort of like looking at life through “rose-colored” glasses. The filters we employ are our illusions used to create a specific image. We do not use the same filter every day or with every person.

Do you allow yourself to be completely open with anyone? I believe it is safe to say that you do not. All of your friends, other employees, your boss, or even your family are presented with a different version of you because you choose to apply a different filter.

Everyone does it. Your boss does it; the company you work for has multiple filters, social media is full of them, and we all know filters rule politicians and government.

We present the image of ourselves that we want the other person to see. Think of it as a job interview. Have you ever participated in a panel interview? A panel interview has multiple interviewers who work at the company that takes turns asking the interviewee questions. Typically, the interviewers consist of your potential boss, someone from Human Resources, a peer-level employee at the company, and other higher-level employees.

I have been part of a panel interview both as an interviewer and an interviewee. The goal is always to impress. Guaranteed, everyone at the table is filtering through multiple lenses.

Could this be a form of lying? Maybe yes or no. Usually no. Is it a form of self-preservation? Yes, I think so. I believe that we each have multiple self-images and slightly different ways of looking at the same picture. Our personalities have layers.

When placed in different situations, we will respond with a contrasting layer of ourselves.

Think of personal relationships you have had. Did you respond to each of those people precisely the same? Heck, no! When we meet someone for the first time, we project a specific image of ourselves, usually a bare-bones version. If the relationship deepens, we expose another layer or two. We may never in our lifetime reveal all of our layers-even in marriage.

We often expose the image we think the other person expects or wants to see. As that relationship progresses, it may become difficult to let the other person know the real you. Why do you think so many marriages end in divorce?

Individually the filters we use do not cause harm. Yes, we affect other people, and sometimes it can be hurtful. When you think about a group of people using the same lens simultaneously, you can see the potential for a dramatic, perhaps dangerous, result.

We recently have seen a terrible example of using a lens of deception. We saw what happens when we drop all pretense. On January 6, 2021, we witnessed the worse kind of deceit from the Capitol rioters.

We bore witness to a large group of people who had previously presented a very different lens to the world. If we were paying attention, we could feel it festering. In my mind, this was an example of people believing one thing but for years keeping silent and holding their real viewpoint inside.

Society at large did not consider their viewpoint acceptable. They could show their feelings and voice their opinions to a select few, a limited group of their families and friends. They used a powerful filter to present a controlled version of themselves to the world until they no longer felt it was necessary.

Then there was a shift in what was acceptable. Someone told the rioters it was okay to use an unfiltered lens. We all saw and felt the resulting chaos.

Here’s the question — how do we decide what filter is appropriate?

We cannot all be the same. There will always be different layers of our personalities and dissimilar viewpoints. That is understandable.

How do we know when it is okay to speak openly and expose our true selves?

How do we get to a place where each of us feels safe to talk about our feelings?

If we could stop hiding behind filters, would it be possible to accept ourselves and others?

Could there be more discourse? Can we learn to communicate openly with one another?

Instead of trying to fit into a mold of what we think we are supposed to be, will it ever be possible to express what we feel?

I think of families, or a group of friends, and how each member is dissimilar in some way. You may laugh when you feel it is appropriate, say you agree when you do not. We want to fit in.

It is the same at school, at work, and at social events. No one wants to be the one to rock the boat.

If we could be open with one another, wouldn’t it be better? Maybe if we were, it could lead to more acceptance of someone we think is different.

Maybe if we could have more conversations and listen openly to another viewpoint, we won’t always need to use filters. We should not have to hide who we are.

Maybe if we used the appropriate filters, we would be able to see all the colors, look at images close up with clarity, and create a better quality for the lives of all of us.

Are we safer when we script our life with a filter?

That is up to us to decide — I hope we all can change.

Thank you for reading

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