Are We More Productive As an Auto-pilot?
The stage of “awakening” that no one talks about
“I’d rather pretend there are no problems in my life,” said one young person, who is clearly unhappy with his life, “fake it until you make it.”
We have now entered the culture of ‘wokeness’, where everyone on Instagram is an activist of some sort. The internet is also full of content writers like me, asking people to become aware of the unfair social expectations, and life coaches are helping people to heal and make the right decisions for themselves.
People quote successful cases of corporate employees giving up their stable career in exchange for freelancing and starting innovative start-ups. Live a life that in our own terms, under our control.
That’s all jolly and good, but the reality is, going from unconscious auto-pilot capitalist to conscious self-led life of independence is a journey. A process that’s filled with hardship, confusion, self-doubt and overwhelm. It’s therefore not surprising that some people, like the young person I quoted above, prefer to stay within the safe trajectory as an auto-pilot.
But guess what, waking is really worth it.
I am decoding the four stages from ignorant-unconsciousness to stable-consciousness, to prepare people to wake up to the reality of intentional living.
Stage 1: Ignorance is bliss
A fish that never jumps above the water surface will not know what air feels like. There’s no particular desire to jump above the water surface especially if they don’t even that exists.
People who are living in the deep sea of unconsciousness are ignorant, but it’s also not a bad place to be. Although the society, the environment and the insatiable feeling from the inside might eventually shake this blissful state.
This is particularly applicable for people who have been coasting along with their lives without much hardship. The people who are neither geniuses nor losers. Steady paychecks, get married at the right time (as expected by the society), in time to make babies, with looks and abilities within the socially acceptable range.
We can’t blame them, they are doing okay. I wish they can be okay like this forever, except, this is a bomb that’s counting down to its explosion point, especially with the rise of woke culture in the popular media.
Stage 2: Denial
The young person I quoted at the beginning of the article is aware that something is wrong, but has chosen to ignore it. Again, many people are faking life, and I personally don’t think we should get angry with them, it’s just a phase.
I study and find solutions for loneliness issues in urban societies. Most people I encounter try to combat the root problems of loneliness by doing all sort of things — shopping, drinking, overworking, cheating…
They say I am really brave to admit my loneliness but immediately shy away uncomfortably about their own experience. The bomb is ticking, but they can’t focus on defusing it.
Stage 3: Conscious mess
Unfortunately, the bomb goes off. A triggering event evokes pain from the past, a broken relationship that shows the rotten core of ourselves, an economic downturn or even a pandemic.
I believe it’s wiser if we manage to rise to consciousness before the bomb goes off, but hey-ho! This is what it is. From here, there are only two paths we can take:
- remain unconscious and bitter about the crisis, or
- transcend
If we pick (or unconsciously remain in) the former, then we will be triggered over and over again. These triggers all add to our pain and get worse and worse. This is purely self-destruction.
Choose transcendence, then we reach stage 4: consciousness, freedom, independence, happiness, enlightenment: enough people have talked about this (although I don’t always agree with what everyone says).
But even if we choose transcendence, i.e. to go to a therapist, to fix the pain, to re-draft our career path, to reconcile with our manipulating parents, etc. The process of transcendence is unfortunately still a mess, it’s also full of uncertainty and fear. We will ask a lot of ‘what if’ questions, then suffer in the loop of self-doubt, confusion, and overwhelm.
No one talks about stage 3
Those bloody people who gloss over the difficulty of healing and waking and focus on how they are now so independent, free and successful, are good storytellers, but they aren’t real storytellers. I guess this explains why Brene Brown is so popular because she’s real and brave enough to be vulnerable in front of her audience.
Because people don’t spend enough time talking about this stage, there are two problems I see with people who try to heal themselves. I want to state two important facts (yes, facts, not opinions).
One, this is a process, which means it’s temporary, and you should always ask the question “so what”, and “what’s next”. We shouldn’t go to our therapist forever if we simply want to rant and get empathy, w should go to our therapist to defuse the trigger bomb. That’s what’s next.
Two, this is our choice. My listography-game is on, there are three steps to absolute consciousness:
- know that there’s a bomb in our life, then
- know not to deny it anymore, and
- choose to move on from it.
Inner wounds aren’t physical illnesses, there is no medicine. It’s not like we can do chemotherapy to get rid of childhood wounds, it’s purely a choice to change in attitude and mindset. The medicine is you and you only.
So, are we more productive as an auto-pilot then?
The answer is yes if you are deep-sea fish that doesn’t even know there’s a world outside of the sea. There are many more people in stage 1 than we think.
Not only the one we love but also the one we are pointing fingers at.
For example, many people have shouted to a generalised genre of people called ‘straight white men’ for their unfair dominance, supremacy and bad things they have been doing.
Honestly, are all straight white men bad? Of course, not! Then, are those that have done bad things do it deliberately? Some do, but many don’t. The latter is the stage 1 people, they are very used to a certain system of privilege that they aren’t aware of the better alternatives, called equality and sustainability.
We need to appeal to these people with love, not hate. Because before you know it, they will enter stage 2: denial. What we want is for everyone to transit smoothly to stages 3 and 4.
If we want them to become feminists, support diversity and inclusivity, improve social mobility for others, then we must help them to leave auto-piloting, rise to consciousness without falling into a destructive mess. We need to help them to move on and do the right thing, we have to help them to make the right choices.
So no, don’t auto-pilot anymore if you are awoken, that’s just denial.
If you love Eckhart Tolle’s teaching as I do, it’s worth re-reading his introduction in his book the Power of Now.
People focus on the magical night where Tolle transcended from his chronic depression to the now, the being. But little have we considered that he then spent two years in Rusell Square, London, doing nothing but contemplating about life. That’s his stage 3.
My stage 3 was two years long too. But even now, I return to self-doubt and confusion from time to time. I also get triggered too. But over time, I become quicker to recover, more focused on choosing to be happy. This is what Tolle means by “deeper into the now”.
So guys, if you are feeling crap, I hope this article helps you to make the right choice.
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