Are There Any Positives That Come from Being Cheated On?

I have been cheated on.

The experience has been, and at times, continues to be nothing less than soul crushing. It shook me to my core, but also opened my eyes to things I didn’t know I needed to see.

It forced me to scrutinize every part of myself, my attitude, my appearance, the way I talked, the way I responded to situations — just about everything.

It’s almost embarrassing when I look back at the person I was before the betrayal.

I believed myself to be this highly competent, successful, and accomplished woman. There wasn’t anything I couldn’t do. And my disposition reflected that in how I interacted with my husband. My attitude towards him was, “He has it all with me.”

But in reality… I worked way too much at a job I loved, while managing a gazillion other daily tasks. I didn’t care what I looked like, or how I acted, letting my emotions get ahead of me.

I was unaware of myself. I created this illusion in my mind, that I was the best wife and mother there could be. I lived in a fantasy world. I was naïve.

Boy, I was so wrong, and oblivious to how wrong I was.

Make no mistake, I’m not justifying his behavior, but I will not let it define me anymore. What he did is beyond devastating and cowardly. It’s something that will be with me forever. Maybe not in the forefront of my mind, but always there, waiting to pop up and say hello.

So, what’s the positive to betrayal?

I wouldn’t wish cheating on anybody; however, it certainly woke me up. I’m a better, smarter and stronger person because of it. I’m more in touch with myself than I have ever been.

It taught me things I didn’t want to learn, but somehow, knew I needed to learn them.

For that, I am grateful.

Take good care,

s&s