Appreciation is better than advising

Summary

The article emphasizes the importance of appreciation over advice in nurturing self-esteem and improving performance.

Abstract

The article, drawing on wisdom from Alfred Lunt and Dale Carnegie, underscores the significance of nourishing self-esteem through appreciation rather than advice. It argues that while people often focus on providing guidance, the act of appreciating someone's efforts can have a more profound impact on their growth and success. The author illustrates this with personal experiences, showing how encouragement from others, such as comments on an article, can boost one's confidence and motivation. The piece also references Shiv Khera's thoughts on self-perception shaping one's destiny, reinforcing the idea that appreciation is a key factor in fostering a sense of importance and self-worth in individuals.

Opinions

Appreciation is vital for nourishing self-esteem and can lead to improved performance in various fields, from the arts to sports.
Advice, while common, is often less effective than appreciation in encouraging personal development and success.
The author believes that words of appreciation are powerful tools that can positively influence others and even avoid conflicts.
The article suggests that appreciation creates a positive cycle, where the encouragement given to others returns to the giver in the form of improved relationships and personal satisfaction.
The author's personal experiment with reading appreciative comments to overcome self-doubt highlights the impact of positive feedback on one's self-esteem and creative output.
The author criticizes the tendency to give advice without actively supporting others to achieve their goals, advocating for a shift towards a more appreciative approach.

Appreciation is better than advising

Alfred Lunt a great actor of his time once said

There is nothing I need so much as nourishment for my self-esteem.

This dialogue is copied by Dale Carnegie in his book How to win friends and influence people’. After quoting it, Carnegie has given his million-dollar statement (I would say it a million dollars because it ought to be an energy drink for me. He said

We nourish the bodies of our children, friends and employes but how seldom we nourish their self-esteem

Self-esteem is nourished by appreciation. It makes us better in every field. Appreciation to a designer will feed his thoughts and in turn, he will produce masterpieces. Appreciation to a footballer will gear up his tricks to dodge the opponent and win a goal. Appreciation to an artist will help him to generate emotions in his scenes. Very similarly, a writer needs appreciation too. Few words of appreciation can pace up the writings. It’s human nature and most of the time we neglect it.

I believe words are the most powerful weapon on this planet. Wars can be avoided on table talks. Divorce can be avoided through influencing words. Our little words of appreciation can bring good fortune for others. I am not supporting flattering. Appreciation and flattering are the two opposite corners. When I read the Dale Carnegie statement I did a little experiment. Whenever I felt despondent about my writing skills I read comments on one of the articles again and again. I shared my success story on medium and appreciative remarks by Uzair Ismail encouraged me that my story is worthy to someone and I did well by sharing it and I need to continue it in future. It made me think that my words are not useless. I can be motivation for many others.

Comments screenshot on my success story

Shiv Khera stated in his book titled ‘You Can Win’

What a man thinks of himself: that is what determines, or rather indicates, his fate.

Just imagine now

Have you ever been fortunate for someone?

Have you ever been involved in getting someone at his best?

Have you ever been rising someone?

This is a circle. We get back what we spread. Our words of appreciation are linked to winning a crown for each other. Everyone craves for the feeling of importance and magical words of appreciation can bring it.

Why am I writing this?

Reading advice on becoming a good writer on Medium forced me to think about it. Every one advises others to do blah blah blah but no one comes forward and does something to make them through. This article is the outcome of those thoughts. My rumination on becoming a successful writer brought me to say this

Appreciation is better than advising