Anxiety Questions
A poem about the grip of anxiety and mental illness and the doubt it causes.
Note: Watch this poem as a music video below.
Anxiety Questions
Cold hands grip tight My frozen chest Wild thoughts feel right This hero’s quest
Drops of cold sweat Upon my back The pattern set Betrays the lack
The running beads Enclosing walls With begs and pleads My conscience falls
Hunting safety An old man-child Beliefs shaky All fears compiled
What have I done? Questions echo Which end the one? Reap what I sow?
Things were stable Though stress was high Cards on table Should I ask why?
Should I have stayed? Accepted fate? Let angst parade? Fastened the gate?
Now tomorrow Shrouded in fog Smiles or sorrow? What will it log?
How will I live? Run left or right? Return and give? Put up a fight?
How should I act? Fierce? Combative? Leave love intact? Condemn? Forgive?
I’ve tossed aside My steady world Chased love outside My heart still furled
I’ve jumped off board Falling unmasked Plunging forward Ignoring past
Cast in shadow Pathways unclear The ground below Grows ever near
Peace I must find Fight through the doubt Push from my mind All monsters rout
This war of spin It can be won Not all will win But I am one
- February 29, 2020
Anxiety and panic attacks can make you doubt everything. Add another mental illness into the mix, and you may literally run away.
This poem has been a work in progress for many years, but I finally finished it today. Too many times, I have let anxiety send me running. I’ve left jobs, friends, romantic partners, and my family. Still, I fight on. This poem is about that fight.
Anxiety is a terrible beast, but you can fight it. With time and effort, you will succeed.
Until next time, keep fighting.
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