Summary

Country singer Charles Kelley of Lady A shares his journey of alcohol addiction, intervention by his bandmates and wife, and his path to recovery through rehab and ongoing sobriety tools.

Abstract

Charles Kelley, a member of the band Lady A, has publicly discussed his struggles with alcohol addiction. After a particularly concerning incident while on vacation in Greece, where he disappeared for the night, his family and bandmates intervened, leading him to seek help at a rehab facility in the U.S. Kelley's addiction had progressed to the point where he was consuming up to eight drinks a day and had begun hiding his drinking from his band, crew, and wife. His behavior had also started to affect his family, with his young son noticing the changes in his demeanor. With the support of his wife, Cassie, and the realization that his drinking was impacting his son, Kelley entered a treatment center in Utah. He now uses a breathalyzer device to prove his sobriety twice daily and attends 12-step meetings, which have become instrumental in his recovery. Kelley's story highlights the varying degrees of alcoholism and the importance of recognizing the problem before it escalates further.

Opinions

Kelley initially dismissed concerns from his bandmates about his drinking, indicating a state of denial.
The singer's bandmates, Hillary Scott and Dave Haywood, were genuinely concerned about his well-being and the band's dynamic, showing their commitment to their friend's health over professional success.
Kelley's wife, Cassie, played a crucial role in his decision to seek help, emphasizing the impact of addiction on family members and the power of loved ones in the recovery process.
Kelley's realization that alcohol was not a solution to his anxiety but rather a source of increased anxiety was a pivotal moment in his journey to sobriety.
The use of a breathalyzer device and attendance at 12-step meetings are seen as effective tools in maintaining Kelley's sobriety, suggesting a multifaceted approach to recovery.
Kelley acknowledges that alcoholism exists on a spectrum and that anyone, regardless of their level of success or functioning, can be affected, challenging the stereotype of the 'typical' alcoholic.
The article suggests that there are various methods to achieve sobriety, including quit-lit books, therapy, SMART Recovery meetings, and professional treatment centers, offering hope and options to those struggling with alcohol abuse.

SOCIETY VS SOBRIETY

Another Popular Country Singer Shares His Story of Alcohol Abuse and Recovery

No matter what method you use to quit drinking, sharing our struggles helps others as we heal ourselves.

After an angry spat with his wife, he turned his phone off and stayed out all night.

He didn't realize the fear and worry it caused his family and friends. They spent the night looking for him.

Charles Kelley, his wife Cassie, and their son were vacationing in Greece when he pulled that all-nighter.

Upon his return the following morning, Kelley boarded a plane to the U.S. to enter a rehab facility.

He and his wife knew this was the only recourse to save him and their marriage.

Charles Kelley is a singer-songwriter for his band Lady A.

Kelley had been confronted by his bandmates Hillary Scott and Dave Haywood several times. They told him he was slurring his words on stage and acting sloppy up there after drinking before shows.

His response:

Well shoot, don't I give it my all? Aren’t I always hitting the notes?

They told him it wasn't just that. They let Kelley know he was being short with them, dismissing what they had to say and trying to dictate decisions.

I got really offended! — Kelley said.

Then he realized they were probably right, and that's when he began sneaking alcohol, drinking out of the view of the band and crew — and behind his wife's back.

He knew his responses to his bandmates' concerns were "alcohol-induced, for sure."

He knew he was falling into the pit of addiction, adding:

On the golf course, I’d have a bloody Mary, then some cocktails, and then wine with dinner at home, whiskey at night, next thing you know, its eight drinks in a day.

Or more, almost every day.

Before the trip to Greece, Kelley knew his relationship with alcohol was worsening:

I remember joking, you know, with everyone, with buddies. I was like, ‘Yeah, I’m definitely a functioning alcoholic.’ And I said, ‘I know I'm gonna have to stop at some point, but that’s not today.”

And that was kind of my little joke. Like, that tells you I kinda knew.

We sure do know. Even when we're deeply in denial about our alcohol use, something inside us knows.

We put off admitting it as long as possible.

Some of us can recognize the time has come to quit drinking. We know we have hit our bottom, and the only way up is to eliminate the poison that alcohol is.

For others, like Kelley, a loved one gives an ultimatum.

Cassie loves Charles, but his drinking is not only affecting him and her but their 7-year-old son, Ward, as well.

Ward told his mom:

Daddy’s talking a little funny. You and Daddy, y’all argue a lot.

Kelley was "crushed" to hear that from the most important person in his life.

He avoided rehab when trying to quit before, refusing because he was "scared to death" and associated rehab with people who have more serious problems with alcohol.

Kelley agreed this time and entered a treatment center in Utah, and went to 12-step meetings. He had a case manager and spent a month there.

He now uses a device that he blows into twice daily, proving he's alcohol-free. This is working for him and his family.

It shows his determination to confirm that he is sober and intends to stay that way.

What I’ve learned is, there’s degrees of alcoholics. You know, I think that’s one of the things too that I want to even share is, like just because you’re not living on the street, or you’re not waking up in a bush, like some stories you may hear, it can get there and it can get there really easily. No one that starts drinking starts there, it’s just this gradual thing. But for me, putting the tools in helped.

The meetings and the device are the tools that work for him.

Most of us drinkers and former drinkers never woke up in the gutter, but we were drinking to the point that our lives were in a desperate place.

We must admit that alcohol has, and perhaps still is, making a shambles of the life we want.

We all have our reasons for turning to alcohol. But, there is a unifying theme — we want to feel better.

Ultimately, we learn that alcohol is not the answer.

Kelley often drank to escape the pressure to succeed that he and others put on him.

He felt anxious and said:

…so the drink was to try to calm your nerves, but it was creating so much more anxiety for me than it was helping. But if you’re going to put career as a higher power, you’re going to live and die by success and failures.

We thought alcohol was the answer to our anxiety, pain, or insecurities, but as we've learned — it only magnifies those feelings.

Kelley is now "just trying to search for peace."

Isn't that what we all want?

He gets his high from meetings where he gets to share with others recovering from alcohol abuse.

This is where you get jolts of nuggets of hope and spirituality. On my own, I can get distracted, but when I go to those meetings, we have these moments where that’s all I’m focused on, my higher power coming in.

I didn't go to 12-step meetings to sober up, though millions have.

There are plenty of ways to find sobriety.

I read many quit-lit books, and others have gone to therapy, SMART Recovery meetings, in or outpatient alcohol abuse treatment centers — you have choices.

Find what works for you. For help in quitting drinking, call your local alcohol abuse hotline or SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration at 1–800–662-HELP (4357).

This is a call you won't regret — and what a fabulous way to begin 2024!