It’s Not About Food And It Never Was

Anorexia Nervosa Poem — All In My Head?

Neither am I obsessed with my weight,

nor have distorted perception,

but I can’t, just can’t

unlove my weighing scale.

They see me starving,

they see me binging and purging,

but they don’t see,

me struggling,

un-restricting the restrictions.

My periods playing hide and seek,

my dry skin ignoring moisturizers,

my falling hair “aging” me in my 20s,

my muscles cramping like hell,

but who cares, its all in my head.

All my friends,

all my partners,

couldn’t praise my commitment,

to laxatives, diuretics, and enema,

they left,

who cares,

my depression loves me,

to the moon and back.

Supposedly they know me more than myself,

I’m overweight, but they tell

I’m a psycho,

because,

they see me underweight and emaciated.

But,

they don’t know,

I still have my mirror.

Although my mind is preoccupied with food and calories,

It’s not about food and it never was.

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Anish Lamichhane is a medical doctor from Germany. He has his interests in medical oncology (cancer medicine), psychiatry (mental health medicine), palliative care and digitalization of health care. He likes to present health stories in a non-traditional way with poetry and health education pieces. Subscribe if you don’t want to miss out a monthly newsletter with new selected stories.