avatarRebeca Huerga


Anonymous sexists

Not one more drop. Of offenses, of abuse, of blood. For 0 tolerance.

Image created on Canva

A day marked on the calendar

One more year. They are sweetened, and childish. My mother, wife, daughters, colleagues are the best. Thank you for everything you contribute and for how much you help us. Thanks for being there.

They fill the networks with flattery and praise that exempt them from guilt, and responsibility and, in addition, improve their image in case there was ever any doubt about them. “Feminism washing” / #purplewashing to save appearances. My mind instantly imagines them in a Chester-type chair, with a cigar, happy, thanking the women who serve them, cook, work, make love, or solve any problem for them. What beautiful words dedicated to “ his ” women. Editorial calendar hypocrisy.

Power has no vagina

Then some companies boast, with data, about the proportion of women in the organization. It is the day to make a big poster that announces: “We are 60% women.” Brilliant. Thank you for giving us work, especially in professions where most graduates are women. Above all, because, on average, they earn less than men. Good, pretty, cheap. I love this data. Well, 60% of the total are women.

What is the % of women in management positions in the organization?

What is the % of women who have maintained working conditions after maternity leave? Or better yet. What is the percentage of women being promoted after returning from maternity leave?

We don’t want you to extend your hand to us today or say nice words to us. We don’t want flowers. We can buy them (thanks Miley). We want the same respect and professional admiration that we have with them. We want no awkward silence when a man mansplains to a woman. Let it not be granted, let us not be allies of sexism, by doing nothing, by not saying anything.

Meanwhile, we, with fear and anxiety, evaluate probable and future scenarios that we do not want to happen again.

— Let the client touch you, you put him in the wrong.


What a crack. What an appropriate comment from my colleague before reaching the client.

— Breasts

-What are you saying?

— Sorry, I have cousins

Silence and fear.

In companies, power has no vagina. That’s why there is so much fear of confessing. And shame. As if for speaking, we were going to be judged.

Do you know what happens with this? That there are consequences. For years, it has been impossible for me to be completely natural. That I didn’t want to interact professionally with men (which is impossible). The anxiety caused me not being 100% focused and I had erratic behaviour. I broke out in cold sweats when I felt watched in a room with men. Sweats… What does fear smell like? I will tell you. It Stinks.

Blame the victim. Victim yes. Victimism? We don’t want it. And we don’t want it to seem to you that it’s not that big of a deal. That’s exactly what happened to me. If there has been no physical abuse it seems that there is no abuse and no. It is not like that.

Stop for a moment and think, would you like them to do to your daughter what you have done to your wife? Or that other woman? Would you like your daughter to be treated like you treated that co-worker?

Sexism 0.0

-Crazy “Bxxtch”.

I do not believe in the concept of “micromachismo” (microsexism) just as there is no such thing as microalcoholism or microdrug addiction. You drink a lot or a little, but you drink. And if you’re in Alcoholics Anonymous, you don’t have to drink. Because every drop adds up. You either have a disease or you don’t.

Every drop of sexism finds its way into all of us. Relationships are full of consequences. Let’s not get more drunk on sexism. We already have it in our society, in our culture. We need to fight against sexism with zero tolerance against it.

Have you ever thought about the qualities valued at a professional level? The following table is from the book“Girl Up” by Laura Bates and shows us some characteristics and how it is seen from a gender perspective:

Image created on Google Sheets

Have you ever felt identified? You are still on the right track. Or they want to tell you how to behave. how to be. Being and appearing. Like Caesar’s wife. The problem is that I don’t want to be “The Woman of”. I want to be me, Rebeca. I want you to respect me and respect my ideas.

Anonymous sexists

Feminism is a necessary but not sufficient condition to fight against sexism. That is why I believe that, apart from fighting for equality (feminism), we have to reflect and fight against the sexism that we have in our DNA. It is a cultural and social problem. Because they have inoculated us with machismo for years, centuries even, and we have to detoxify ourselves.

Because I have also been sexist without realizing it. Once, I made a reservation to a restaurant under my husband's name (don’t ask me why I put myself in the role of secretary). He was the one who told me that I was sexist. He was right.

Because sexism splashes into the subject and predicate of any sentence. For this reason, anonymous sexists deserve the right to compensation, they deserve to do their penance but they must start from self-knowledge and that is something that starts from reflection on past experiences, feedback, or after-dinner conversations.

The problem with diseases of this type is that tolerance is created. Like the tolerance that smokers have to the messages on cigarette packs, the size and apprehension of the message are getting bigger and bigger, but they already have such immunity that they don’t even see it. Sexism has been normalized in such a way that it is difficult to discern what is sexist and what is not. I give you a trick: “ If there is the slightest doubt that it could offend, it is sexism.” As we said before, zero tolerance for sexism.

Finally, I wanted to thank my life partner for telling me: “I’m going to write about this” and telling me: “go ahead.” I am privileged. I speak from the privilege of being a white, heterosexual woman who was born and lives in a developed country.

Luckily there is more and more awareness, of all political stripes, and the campaigns are helping. And luckily, we talk more and more.

Recommended from ReadMedium