And Yet Another Very Funny Story

And this one is a killer!

Once upon a time....

.......there was a certain gentleman who had a penchant for erotic videos. As was his habit, one day he went to his local sex shop to buy a video for himself and some friends for a boys night in.

A few beers, some light snacks, a bit of chit chat and a good porno was their idea of a good night. Only this good night turned out to be almost the last good night for our erstwhile friend.

In the sex shop this chap decided to push the boat out and asked for something with strong, distasteful and illegal content. The shop manager spoke in hushed tones, even though they were the only one’s in the shop at that time.

“ I want something with animals in it.” The man said in a low voice.

“ Well, by rights, we can’t sell that type of video sir. However, I do have something in the back room if you wait a moment.”

And with that the manager disappeared into the store room behind the counter. A few moments later he brought out a video, all wrapped up in brown paper.

“ There you go sir, that’ll go down a treat with the lads. That’ll be fifty pounds, thank you.”

The man gleefully handed over a fifty pound note and went scurrying out of the shop looking forward to a great night in.

The very next day our friend was back in the sex shop, not a happy Chappy at all.

“ Ok, wise guy,” he said. “ I have seen stronger on Channel One in the afternoon watching a Lassie move. Here’s your video, I want my money back.”

The manager responded “ Well I am not allowed to give you your money out of the cash register sir. The only thing I can do is give you a note to take to our bank in the next street. Just hand it over to the teller and she will give you your money out of our account.”

And with that the manager started to write the note, speaking the words as he wrote them.

" Please give the gentleman presenting this note fifty pounds out of our account. Thankyou, the manager of 'Sex Is Us' Hight Street Muddle town."

He then slipped the note into an envelope and sealed it before handing it over to the man. Somewhat appeased our friend took the envelope and headed off to the bank to get his money back.

At the bank the man stood in line for only a few minutes before stepping forward to the counter.

“ Hello, good morning sir, how can I help you?” Sang out the attractive young teller.

The man said nothing but simply handed over the envelope he’d been given. Any moment now he would be off back home with his refund. He was happy that he had only lost face, and not a penny more, with his friends who had inexorably taunted him the night before.

Soon he would be home having a nice morning coffee with his unwitting wife who was none the wiser as to what he had potentially been up to with his mates last night whilst she was out playing bingo at the local bingo hall.

The teller opened the envelope, smiling as she did so, and slid out the note. As the young girl read the note her expression of friendliness visibly changed to one of total and utter fear. She discretely reached down under the counter and pressed a button. All of a sudden steel shutters slammed down on top of the counter.

The only other two customers in the bank stopped back in shock and puzzlement. Nobody had any idea what was going on.

In less than two minutes a heavily armed swat team stormed into the bank and started screaming for everybody to get down on the floor and put their hands behind their heads. They all obeyed immediately.

The swat team then very carefully walked over to our friend and set about searching him. He was unarmed, afraid and confused. He had absolutely no idea what this was all about. He was ordered to stand and was duly handcuffed.

A member of the swat team, now a lot more relaxed, asked him a few questions, name, address that sort of thing. The man complied asking “ What’s this all about?” As he did so.

A few minutes later another swat team member came over with the man’s letter.

“ Would you care to explain this sir?” said the swat man as he showed the man his note from the sex shop.

The man looked down at the note and disbelievingly read.

“ This is a hold up. I have a gun under my coat. Put all the money into a big bag and pass it over. If you obey, I won’t kill you. If you refuse, you’re dead and I’m out of here.

DO IT NOW OR DIE!”

The man started to sweat and cry at the same time. Thankfully he could explain everything. Then he realised he would have to say how it all started when he went to buy an illegal, highly distasteful porno movie. And with that he decided that he would rather go to jail as a bank robber than as the disgusting pervert he was. Why even his wife would forgive holding up a bank rather than disown him for what he really was. Looking on the bright side, at least the swat team didn’t shoot him dead. He thanked god for small mercies as he was frogmarched out of the bank to the waiting swat vehicle parked out side.

As the swat-team and the man passed through the bank entrance doors onto the lightly populated street a sardonic voice called out to the man.

“ Have a nice day, now ya hear.”

Knowing that there was one less pervert-cum-bankrobber on the streets....

........they all lived happily ever after.

Th…th….that’s all folks

The End

Dr Mehmet Yildiz Britni Pepper Geetika Sethi Stuart Englander Thewriteyard Terry Mansfield Rebecca Stevens A. Rick Chen Aldric Chen Haimish Mead Joe Luca Agnes Laurens Denise Larkin