An Accident

aka God’s Experiment

Earth is a classic case of God hadn’t a clue the gun was loaded

Just a little experiment, He thought. We’ll tweak this electrical frequency here and (Me willing) it should manifest as pain (as long as they agree); tweak this frequency there and (Me willing) it should manifest as sex. Now to get the critters all to agree — and to feel these frequencies just so. This really shouldn’t be an issue; after all, He was God. In fact, God was pretty pleased with Himself and with this new experiment of His.

And now, all agreed — even if at Divine Gunpoint, to let the critters out, to let them roam the freshly minted earth. For them to roam and hurt and procreate, and for Me to sit back and enjoy the show, thought God.

Fast forward a billion or so years and God is no longer so jovial about this mess. Sometimes He even, He even almost admits to Himself that He might have been wrong about all this, if, that is God could ever be wrong, which, of course, He cannot, that’s a given. That would make him imperfect. And He is very far from IM-perfect, He’s just the opposite.

Still, He doesn’t feel so good about our little planet anymore. For one, He had not predicted all this killing — some, if not most of it in His name, to make matters worse.

Then again, He thought, if something has to die for something else to live — as good a definition as any of the zero-sum game (the eat or be eaten thing) He had so carefully designed — well, He should have seen this coming. But He didn’t and now He has to tell Himself that he chose not to see it coming for, again, He can never be wrong and “should have” seems awfully close to admitting fault as far as He’s concerned. Still, He doesn’t feel too good about our little planet anymore. Nor about His experiment.

Killing for food, well, that was the entertainment part, for the has to be a winner (eater) and a loser (eatee), and what’s a little blood and torn throats between critters? And copulating for progeny, well, that was fun to watch too, although by now a little boring, a billion years of the same tends to bore even Mr. Patient Himself.

But what about all the killing not for food, but seemingly for fun, or out of sheer greed, or, as they often rally “for God”, what about that? Should He have seen that coming? Possibly, but for the sake of the game (that is to say, entertainment) He chose not to, is what He tells himself these days. And often.

But millions and millions slaughtered in His Name? A bit, even for God, hard to swallow. And perhaps He had gone a little overboard with this sex thing, too, for now He comes to find out there are millions and millions of His believers (in His role of Allah — and why all these different names? Babel never took place, after all, and “God” would work just fine as single moniker) millions and millions of them who now expect Heaven to be filled with untainted virgins, twenty or so per soul standing by and immensely willing seems to be the current demand cum expectation, all for their misguided after-death delight.

God shakes His Head a lot these days.

Still, He is an Expert at looking the other way, and look the other way He does, even if the planet is screaming for His Help. God helps those who help themselves, He reminds Himself, and again, and again.

(Though He suspects that He’s lying).

Here’s the question: Did He know the gun was loaded? There is nothing God, the all-knowing, does not know, at least not unwillingly, so we’re back to the “I meant to do that” thing even if there are some flickering Godly Doubts about that these days.

All things considered, however, this state of affairs is fast approaching clean-the-slate-and-start-over time, probably by directing some very, very large heavenly (not Heavenly) body (say an asteroid the size of Rhode Island, that should do the trick) toward Earth and have it impact and clean the slate but good. Too bad, really, but (He’s shaking His head) there seems to be nothing for it, things just can’t go on like this. He’s looking around for a sink to wash His Hands off this Earth in.

But, then again (and now He’s nodding His head, hopefully like), if He stands back and does nothing for a century or two, perhaps these critters will do the slate-cleaning job for Him. Yeah, that’s the ticket. That’s the way to go. Look the other way some more, a few hundred years give or take, and this place should be ready for re-population and We (the Godly We) will use a different approach next time. Less pain and perhaps no sex.

Oh, well. One lives. One learns.

© Wolfstuff

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