ANAL SEX FOR NEWBIES: HOW TO MAKE ANAL SEX WORK THE FIRST TIME!
Want to add some zest to your sex life?
Anal sex can offer new and exciting sensations for both penis and vulva people — and maybe even a “wow” orgasm or two. The anus area is packed with sensitive nerve endings waiting to be set ablaze by loving touch. If you haven’t experienced anal sex before and aren’t sure if it’s your thing, read our post and find out. But be warned: you could quickly become addicted to anal sex — and that’s okay!
The first time anal sex Anal sex can be enjoyed by anyone, depending on their preference, either as an active or passive part, or both — regardless of gender. This applies to heterosexual as well as lesbian and gay couples. The most important thing about anal sex is to take your time, especially if it’s your first time experiencing it. Talk to your lover about the topic beforehand and exchange your ideas and needs about it. Is anal sex really an option for both of you? Maybe one of you already has some experience? Do you see yourself as the active or passive part? Speak plainly and thus eliminate all uncertainties.
Do not hold back your concerns and fears. It’s clear: the anus is a particularly sensitive area of the body and penetrating it too quickly and too forcefully can lead to injuries — especially if you don’t use enough lubricant. However, an unstrained approach to the matter makes anal sex a lot less tense in the end.
There is hardly any sexual practice that is as charged and taboo as anal sex. In the beginning, it therefore makes sense to deal with the some myths that exist around the subject. We’ve compiled the most common half-truths and untruths below — and done the reality check.
Anal sex myths: We need to talk!
There are many prejudices, rumors and half-truths about anal sex and you have certainly heard one or the other “horror story” — from unpleasant smells to medical emergencies. We dispel nonsensical myths about anal sex and explain how it really is.
Myth #1: Anal sex hurts Truth: Anal sex only hurts if you are reckless and unprepared. If you’re in the right mood, relax, gently pre-stretch with a finger or anal toy, and use enough lube, it won’t hurt, it will feel good. Attention: Spit is not a lubricant!
Myth #2: Anal sex is dirty Truth: There is feces in the rectum only immediately before a bowel movement. If you do not feel the need to go to the toilet, anal sex is hygienically safe. A shower before anal sex is advisable, and if you really want to be sure, you can clean your bowels with an anal douche. However, it can always happen that despite cleaning, there is feces during anal sex. If you notice this, it is best to interrupt to clean yourself again or continue with another sex practice for this time. Important: Intestinal bacteria can cause vaginal infections. Please never go directly from anal sex to vaginal sex!
Myth #3: Condoms are not necessary Truth: Contraception with a condom is important! Although the risk of unwanted pregnancy is significantly lower during anal intercourse, the risk of infection with a sexually transmitted disease such as HIV is all the greater due to the microtears that develop more quickly in the anal area.
Myth #4: The anus leaks out Truth: The sphincter is a very strong muscle in our body. Although it gets used to the pressure and stretching more easily during regular anal intercourse and can relax more quickly, it will not “wear out” and lose its function — with the exception of injuries. By the way, this also applies to the vagina.
Myth #5: Anal sex is only for gays One of the great advantages of anal sex is that people of any gender and orientation can enjoy it. Unfortunately, there are still many stereotypes and clichés around anal sex, and some straight men often associate anal sex with certain role models. So when they are the passive part, they sometimes feel like they are taking the role of a woman or a gay man. Behind this is the fear of being labeled as gay or effeminate and no longer being considered a “real man.”
Yet every man is born with the same nerve endings at the anus, regardless of their sexual orientation. Cis men also possess a prostate gland that can be stimulated during anal penetration. There are many straight cis men who have discovered the pleasure of anal stimulation, and there are many gay men who have tried it and decided it is not for them. It is purely a matter of taste and not a question of gender or sexual orientation that should stop anyone from enjoying anal sex. It is also exciting to play with the roles during butt sex, even swap them and try pegging.
#Myth 6: Women don’t like anal sex Social norms and expectations are constantly changing and evolving. Sexual stigma and what we perceive as an acceptable and healthy part of our intimacy are things that, fortunately, can be rewritten. So is the assumption that women don’t like anal sex and only do it because man likes them to and they want to fulfill that “fantasy” for him. What is problematic about this view? This sexual fabric sees men in the dominant role of forcing women to engage in activities in the bedroom. The idea that women do not enjoy anal sex discourages and denies them sexual agency as well as sexual desires, such as anal intercourse. However, this can of course be perceived as stimulating and delightful by women and has nothing to do with above-mentioned submission.
Fortunately, the actual picture of what people do in their bedrooms differs from this common narrative. It may not be talked about as openly in society, but anal sex is part of a common sex practice that both partners enjoy when performed safely and carefully. No one needs to feel forced into it. If you feel like it, do it — if not, don’t. Anal sex can also be an alternative to vaginal sex, which can be impossible and uncomfortable due to periods or during a fungal infection. Whether she or he likes anal sex is up to each person to figure out for himself or herself.
#Myth 7: Anal orgasms do exist There is no such thing as a pure anal orgasm. However, since the anus and sexual organs are close to each other, you can get a second-hand orgasm, so to speak, by stimulating the sensitive nerve endings at the anus and the genitals at the same time. Many perceive this stimulation as an anal orgasm. Everyone has numerous nerve endings at the anus that can be stimulated by touch, which many people find tingling and along with masturbation or vaginal penetration, enhances orgasm. In addition, there are still gender-specific characteristics that influence an “anal orgasm”.
The anal orgasm in men: The prostate is the size of a chestnut and is located inside the anus on the intestinal wall behind the penis and testicles. It is a gland that secretes a secretion that mixes with sperm during ejaculation to make them more mobile. However, the small lump can also trigger intense feelings in men. Five to seven centimeters inside the anus, a round bulge can be felt. You can massage it with your fingertip — with light pressure and circular movements. The middle finger is best suited for this, as it can penetrate the anus the deepest. If the penis and glans are then additionally stimulated, an “anal orgasm” is quite realistic. The feeling of orgasm with anal penetration is often described by men as more intense and different.
The anal orgasm in women: women do not have a prostate, so it cannot be stimulated during anal sex. They do, however, have the clitoris. This includes not only the clitoral glans, which is visible on the outside, but also the inner tickler thigh and the vaginal opening, which have many nerve endings. In addition, there are muscles in the anus that are connected to this area. Thus, anal stimulation can transmit stimuli to the whole region, which means that the clitoris is stimulated indirectly. If you additionally pamper clitoral glans or the vagina during anal sex, the “anal orgasm” goes even easier for her.
The most important tips around anal sex
All the myths out of the way and you feel like trying anal? Whether you want to try anal sex alone for the first time or with a partner, we’ve got all the tips and instructions you need, from how to prepare for the best anal sex positions to the perfect toys to get you started.
Anal sex: preparation is key The right preparation for anal sex includes: careful pre-stretching of the anus, hygiene and cleanliness, the right lubricant and getting to know your own needs. For all these points, we give you the most important tips below, so that you have a better feeling at the end, how anal sex works and how you can enjoy it with pleasure.
1. get to know your own needs during anal sex If you don’t have any experience with anal adventures yet, then first discover the game with the anus on your own and find out what you like. Get to know your body and feel your way gently. Only in this way you will find out what you like and what you don’t, and whether anal play is something for you.
2. pre-stretching the anus in preparation for anal sex The anus is not primarily intended for sex, we all know that. Therefore, the region should be gently pre-stretched before sex to prepare for anal sex. Pre-stretching is best done with a finger or an anal toy. We have put together a selection of anal toys suitable for beginners in our overview.
3. hygiene during anal sex — a clean matter For sufficient hygiene during anal sex, it is usually sufficient to take a short shower beforehand and to clean the region around the anus. This way you avoid unpleasant odor and other surprises. The anus is usually relatively clean as long as you do not feel an immediate urge to go to the toilet. If only 2 to 3 hours have passed since you last used the toilet, a little showering or bathing should be enough to clean it.
To be on the safe side, it is recommended to use an anal douche to gently clean the inside of the anus. For men, it is also advisable to shave the outer area beforehand. This is not only more hygienic, but also makes anal access a little smoother.
Anal shower: a tutorial
1. Remove the tip from the pump ball and run body-warm water into the sink so that you can completely submerge the anal douche.
2. then simply submerge the anal douche with the opening under water and try to squeeze as much air as possible out of the pump ball.
3. The ball will then fill automatically as the suction effect pulls the water into the anal douche.
4. attach the tip to the pump ball again and moisten it with a little water-based lubricant.
5. Now carefully insert the tip into the anus and press the pump ball so that the water is pushed into the rectum.
6. After that, sit on the toilet and let the water run out of you again.
7. depending on the color of the water after the anal irrigation, you will know if you need to flush more times. The clearer the water, the cleaner you are.
8. Before you plunge into anal pleasure, you can clean the outer anus once again with a damp cloth. Prepared in this way, there’s nothing standing in the way of anal sex.
4. indispensable during anal sex: don’t forget lube. Lubricant is a must during anal sex! As is known, the anus, unlike the vagina, does not have the ability to become wet. So don’t use it sparingly! Water-based lubricants are best, as they are gentle on the skin and mucous membranes. They can also be used with toys and latex condoms. In addition, there are special anal lubricants that provide moisture during anal intercourse for longer with their special formula.
5. diet for better anal sex Grains, legumes, nuts, fruits and vegetables are usually rich in fiber. Eating these regularly can aid digestion and help the bowels empty better and more regularly. For those who like to enjoy passive anal sex on a regular basis, using diet can help cleanse the bowels. Not eating before anal sex does not help! The intestines cannot clean themselves through this.
The first time anal sex: How to do it!
If you now feel sufficiently prepared and have a desire for anal sex, you can either try it out alone or together with a partner. For both situations — anal solo games and the approach in pairs — we have compiled the following tips for getting started.
Anal sex alone For the first time of anal sex alone, you can make yourself comfortable in the bathtub. The warm water relaxes the body and the muscles. With your fingers or an anal toy, you can now slowly feel your way forward. First, the outside of the anus is gently massaged. Gladly already with some lubricant. This helps the muscles and sensitive points to get used to the touch. And if it doesn’t work right away, don’t put pressure on yourself! Maybe you will be ready for it at a later point.
Tip: Analtoys A small anal plug, with or without vibrations, offers gentle fun thanks to its conical shape and soft material and makes the introduction to anal play more pleasant — but always use lubricant! An anal plug is ideal for stimulating the anus, as well as for stretching, during foreplay for anal sex, together with your partner. Anal toys always have a handle that serves as a stopper, which prevents too deep penetration into the anus. This ensures safe play during anal sex at all times.
Anal sex with a partner — what to consider!
The same applies to anal sex with a partner as to solo. Take your time, penetrate slowly and of course don’t forget the lubricant. Your partner or yourself can use your fingers or an anal toy for pre-stretching during foreplay. The tongue can also be used to gently massage and stimulate the outer anus and thus relax it (see Anilingus). Keep in mind, however, that diseases can be transmitted here as well.
The feeling during anal sex: The first time anal doesn’t always have to feel amazing right away. The anus must first get used to anal play in most people and becomes more flexible after a few rounds of anal sex. In addition, as you gain experience, you become more relaxed yourself as well. These factors make anal sex more enjoyable, as you focus more on the stimulation than the actual process.
For the first time anal sex it is recommended to choose a relaxed sex position, in which the passive partner can drop and the active partner can penetrate in a controlled manner. You can filter out the best anal positions for beginners in our compilation of sex positions.
The 3 best anal sex positions
One of the most popular anal positions among couples is the sphinx. The passive partner makes himself comfortable on his stomach and bends one leg slightly. The anus is relaxed and open-hearted. The active partner can penetrate smoothly from behind — but please use plenty of lubricant and be very careful so that no injuries occur.
Also in the riding position, where the passive partner sits on top, he has the opportunity to take control himself during anal sex. The active part determines how fast the penis slides into him and at what pace he wants to ride.
In the angel position, both partners are very relaxed and lie comfortably behind each other. The active partner can slowly penetrate the passive partner anally from behind with the help of lubricant, while the latter can relax his muscles to facilitate entry. The position promises a lot of body contact and tenderness.
For the beginning of the anal sex adventure, it is recommended to choose a relaxed sex position, where the passive partner can let himself fall and the active partner has control over the penetration process. In our compilation of sex positions you’ll find the best options for beginners in anal. Look for the ones that suit you and your partner best. This way, you can gently approach the new experience and discover the joys of anal sex together. Don’t forget to always pay attention to each other’s needs and limits and keep communication open. Have fun experimenting!
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