An Unrealized Singing Career

My Brush with Fame and Unrealized Potential

Being a Fan of a Global Phenomenon

It was 2004. A show called American Idol had already aired two seasons on FOX and it was becoming a huge television hit. Millions of people tuned in every week to see which singer would be eliminated next and then ultimately who would be crowned the “American Idol”. I was 22 years old and it was a long-shot dream to get on the show even after just three seasons. The people who won and who were in the Top 12 were getting record deals, Broadway shows, movies, and various other perks of fame. The people on these shows were much like the people who had previously starred on Star Search, relative unknowns showing off incredible talent. I had been singing since I was able to talk. I started in the church choir at the age of 13 and had still been singing on and off for many years leading up to my decision.

The Decision

After being just a fan of the show for 3 years, I decided I wanted to go to one of the audition cities and try out this time. The closest audition location to my hometown that year was in San Francisco, California. I was a 22-year-old college student and like many other students my age, I was broke. I had to convince my parents that I could make it on the show and that I would only need about 100 dollars in pocket change with me to get down there and then wait in line to audition. I had never been to Cow Palace where the auditions were being held that year and I needed a place to stay. I remembered that my mom’s friend who was a nurse stayed right down the street from where the stadium was and I asked her if I could stay with her. She agreed. I slept there for a couple of nights and then went to the stadium the day everyone started lining up.

The Day of the Line

People were lined up clear across the parking lot by the time I had gotten to the stadium. It was a cool August day. I remember waiting in line for hours to get to the front wondering what to expect when I got there. It took about six hours to get to the front of the line and once I got there, I was able to get a wristband that would allow me entry to a cattle call audition in a couple of days. I was thinking that first I had to wait in line to get this, then I had to come back to wait for the audition on the day of the actual auditions. I figured that since I’d have to wait, I might as well wait in line with other people who had just decided to camp out in the parking lot of the stadium. I met up with a group that night that wanted to practice their singing voices and do karaoke over at a famous San Francisco karaoke bar, The Mint. I was definitely down to do some karaoke with some potential American Idol contestants. We all went down to the Mint and got one or two songs in of practice before going back to the line to wait overnight.

The Day of the Audition

The line was just as long as the day I first waited but the difference was that this day, I was much closer to the front of the line than I had been the day before. I had seen people playing their guitars and practicing all over the line. I happened to get some singing time on the air for the news that day. I also practiced and warmed up with a new companion who I’d met in line. His name was Chris. He was a kid from the Chicago area who had flown out to San Francisco to realize his dream as well. We spent all day in line together talking and getting to know each other. We even started singing duets together just to practice. He handed a few of us his business card before we all parted after the auditions but I never really got back in contact with him until I moved to Chicago with my boyfriend in 2016, 12 years later.

Cattle Call Audition Style

I stayed with my new friend in line and waited to be called up to a long line of different tables with various different producers waiting for us to come up and sing for them. I sang “Tears In Heaven” by Eric Clapton. It was a song I could emotionally connect with and that was well within my range. I was a good singer. I knew I could pull off the song and impress these judges. We were called up four people at a time. It was me, Chris, a guy in a suit, and a girl. We were all asked to sing one at a time. I was third so I had a couple of minutes to stand and wait to sing. I started singing and I immediately knew that my voice stood out among all the rest. I figured if they were going to take only one person from the group, it would be me. I was shocked when they pointed in my direction and said, “You, you’re on to the next round.” At first, I thought they were talking about me and I got super excited but they were actually talking to the bad singer next to me in the suit. I audibly screamed, “What? That dude sucks. You just want good TV because he’s dressed up in a pimp suit.” He looked at me shocked and upset but I stormed off, they cut my wristband off, and I exited the building along with my friend, Chris, who had also been cut. We left a little frustrated but both understood that this wasn’t our only opportunity and that they clearly passed on talent to go with style. I knew I would still make it someday. At least that’s what I thought in my mind.

Acceptance and Aftermath

I knew that I shouldn't be discouraged from continuing to pursue a music career. In subsequent seasons, I tried out three more times until I got above the maximum age limit of 29 years old for the show. I tried different genres of music and kept coming back more persistent and a better singer every time. One year, they even told me that my look wasn’t TV ready and that I should try working on a presentation. I figured that this is why I had been rejected in the previous seasons. Each time I tried out, I was too overweight and didn’t quite fit the look they were looking for even if my voice was certainly there. I learned from other people I auditioned with and some of my friends I made along the way that they’re also looking for entertainers, not just good singers. I became resigned to this fact and was just happy for the experiences I got. Along with my four auditions, I got to meet Simon Cowell, Ryan Seacrest, Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul, multiple producers, Kat McPhee, Taylor Hicks, and many other finalists and contestants who ended up on the show. The experience was definitely entertaining and really opened up a door that closed just as quickly. I needed the whole package and I just didn’t have it.