An Open Love Letter To Women’s Bodies
Jordan Gray wonders when our bodies became something we are supposed to apologize for.
By Jordan Gray
Losing my virginity took less than a minute.
I was so mesmerized by the beauty, openness, and curves of my girlfriend that I felt overwhelmed.
Every curve of her body begging to have my hands on them.
Every patch of skin that I touched softer than the last.
Her eyes staring into my soul with such depth.
Before physically being with a woman I had imagined that sexual intimacy would do something to me… but I had no idea the level of infatuation it would set off in my mind.
This is an open love letter to women’s bodies (with some always-requested action-steps at the end for the guys).
So, What’s Your Type?
Through fifteen years of serial-monogamy I have discovered something about my type; my type is no type. Or all types, depending on your perspective.
The older I get the wider of a variety of women I find myself being attracted to.
Throughout my life I have adored short, curvy women whose mere existence just begs to be picked up and swung around.
I appreciate tall, slender women whose little rib cages call out for my arms to wrap around them.
I find myself marvelling at the folds, flab, bones, curves, and angles of women.
Beautiful curvaceous women with figures like chandeliers.
Long, slender women with bodies like bullets straight through my heart.
Women with elegant necks, chewable collar bones, and hairlines that smell like everything that is right with the world.
It would be all too easy to say that your type is a 5’9 blonde with this and that feature… but if you are unable see the inherent beauty in all women’s bodies, you will forever struggle to see it truthfully in your woman’s body.
When Did Bodies Become Something We Have To Apologize For?
When I hear (mostly) women talking about how fat, weak, bloated, hairy, or oily their bodies are, my heart springs into action.
Like a toddler who resists admitting that his unique piece of art really is that amazing, I lavish praise on the body-shame.
Her: “Does my butt look big in this jeans?”
Me: “Mmm totally! It looks fucking fantastic.”
All emotional resistance can be melted through with love and acceptance.
Not only does praise melt away body-shame in the moment, but it can also prevent it by constantly reassuring the owner of said body.
In my relationship, my partner doesn’t go a day without hearing about something that I love about her body (among other things).
If you are with someone, it’s because you want to be with them. Don’t just tell yourself “She knows that I’m attracted to her”… TELL her.
A lot of guys think… “If I tell her that I love her, or that I am attracted to her body, that statement is still true unless otherwise modified.”
While a lot of women think… “I logically know that he says he’s attracted to me… but how does he feel about me now? Today? This very moment?”
For The Action-Takers Out There
For the men who are craving the usual action steps that occur in my articles…
If you are currently in a relationship, remind yourself what you love about your partners appearance.
When was the last time that you told her that her thighs absolutely kill you?
When was the last time you came up behind her and wrapped your arms around her beautiful torso and growled softly in her ear?
How long has it been since she saw the look of awe and disbelief in your eyes as you scanned her delicious body from head to toe?
Your woman craves praise and appreciation.
So tell your partner what you like and tell them often.
More by Jordan Gray from The Good Men Project:
The story was previously published on The Good Men Project.
About Jordan Gray
Sex and relationship coach Jordan Gray helps people remove their emotional blocks and maintain thriving intimate relationships. When he’s not coaching clients or writing new books, Jordan loves to pretend he’s good at surfing, immerse himself in new cultures, and savour slow-motion hang outs with his closest companions. You can see more of his writing at JordanGrayConsulting.com
The Good Men Project gives people the insights, tools, and skills to survive, prosper and thrive in today’s changing world. A world that is changing faster than most people can keep up with that change. A world where jobs are changing, gender roles are changing, and stereotypes are being upended. A world that is growing more diverse and inclusive. A world where working towards equality will become a core competence. We’ve built a community of millions of people from around the globe who believe in this path forward. Thanks for joining The Good Men Project.
