So, your son or daughter wants to study abroad

An open letter to the parents of college students who hope to study abroad

We know lots of things are going through your head at this very moment.

You’re scared, excited, and maybe even clueless. You have no idea what studying abroad entails for your child, other than the fact that you’ve heard it’s expensive.

Trust me, my parents laughed when I told them I wanted to study abroad. My dad even said, “Who’s going to pay for that?”

But what you should know is what studying abroad is actually like. I’m here to tell you, it’s not as crazy as it seems.

My name is Ellery Fry. I am a junior at Marquette and I spent the spring semester of 2015 in Milan, Italy. From February to June, I uprooted my life and had a chance to experience the world first hand.

I’ll be the first to acknowledge, there is no possible way I could have done it without my parents. Needless to say, they were apprehensive at first to send their 19-year-old daughter halfway across the world to a non-English speaking country.

Looking back, I know they are glad they supported me on this incredible four-month journey.

Studying abroad is a ticket to the world. The traveling is great, but having the opportunity to actually live in a new place is the reason why studying abroad is such an enriching experience.

I was not just a tourist somewhere for a few days. Don’t get me wrong; I did my fair share of jumping around Europe for a few days at a time. But the best feeling was knowing I had created another home. There was nothing like landing in Milan and having a sense of familiarity.

I am sure you read, “I did my fair share of jumping around Europe,” as a never-ending line of dollar signs — I know my parents did. And, it’s true the additional travel can add up.

But, the actual bill to simply study abroad is not that different than a semester at MU. Marquette students pay their Marquette tuition for the majority of study abroad programs and are allowed to apply any scholarships and financial aid.

Some Marquette students are even eligible for additional aid. And, there are a limited number of national study abroad scholarships available such as the Gilman for students who receive Pell Grants or the Boren to study a critical language.

So, when you look at that final tuition bill, it should be similar. Living expenses will fluctuate up or down depending on the city, but overall the cost breakdown should be very comparable to a semester here at Marquette.

Some places around the world have a higher cost of living than Milwaukee, while others are comparable or even have a lower cost of living. For me, my tuition was very similar.

The rent in Milan was slightly more than the average rent in Milwaukee, but the cost of groceries and activities were lower so the fluctuations broke even. Estimated costs for each study abroad programs can be found for each program online.

After setting aside the fixed costs, any additional costs are up to you as a family. You can have an unforgettable time abroad on any budget. In many countries the transportation and hostels are cheap making it possible to see the world with out breaking the budget.

Another thing I am sure you read as a yellow flag… the word “hostel.” Sending a child abroad can seem scary.

When you send your kid to Marquette, you know there is the Marquette police department and endless outlets for support in case of emergency. Something a lot of people don’t know is that nearly all of the Marquette resources are still available wherever you may be in the world. For example, students can call a DPS operator and they will connect them with the appropriate person to help them on campus.

For emergencies out of Marquette’s control, all students going abroad must have International SOS Insurance and HTH Worldwide health insurance. Both are comprehensive safety and medical insurance plans set in place to cover students in any emergency.

While thankfully I never used any of these plans, the Jennifer Waters story gives you a first class look at how you are never too far from Marquette.

In case of an emergency (yes, missing your child counts as an emergency), getting in contact across an ocean is actually much simpler than you think. With today’s technology it is easy to communicate across the world. Apps such as What’s App, Viber, Facebook Messenger and FaceTime all work through Wi-Fi or data rather than your cellular plan.

I was able to communicate with my parents 24/7 via message and we would frequently video chat over their lunch breaks, which would be evening in Milan. After being home for two weeks, my dad called me and said he thought we talked more while I was abroad than we had since I got back to America.

“What about graduating on time?” you ask. Being abroad is great. It is fun, exciting, challenging and rewarding, but yes, it is still university — or Uni as they call it in Europe. Going abroad is not a semester off. The class structure may be different, but students still take a full course load of classes.

We actually have to get our courses approved for credit before we even leave Marquette. I knew exactly how my credits would transfer and what they would count for before I even landed in Milan. Marquette also works hard to select programs that work for students of all majors in order to keep them on track to graduate on time. Then in turn, study abroad coordinators help students find the program that will be the best fit for them socially and academically.

Logistics aside, I can’t stress enough how valuable a study abroad experience is. Not only does having international experience make me appealing to large global employers, but it also taught me about life and expanding my world view.

Studying abroad isn’t a vacation. On vacation you relax, tan and sit on a beach, but when you study abroad you truly experience, immerse and grow. I ate, slept and lived in my new city. I had the time to wander off the tourist traps into the side streets to find the hole–in-the-wall Panini place with the little, old Italian man.

I became a regular.

Having the ability to live and learn in another country is truly a unique experience. In Milwaukee, we find ourselves in a Marquette bubble within a larger American bubble. Overseas, I had the opportunity to learn with students from Italy and other countries around the world.

I learned about the world. I grew as an individual. I became more independent. I was myself.

My experience was truly up to me. Sure there are people to help along the way, but studying abroad is an individual journey.

No two experiences are alike.

Having the experience living abroad also taught me how to understand. Throughout my life I have learned world history from textbooks and other people. Sure, I understood the context and the actions; I learned about the people of that history. Having the opportunity to see things first hand — stand where people stood — made everything seem more tangible. I learned that even though something may seem hard to grasp on one end, it is very real to someone on the other. This skill will be a great asset in my future career no matter where I land.

You may still be asking yourself, “Is it worth it? The money? The stress?” All I can say is yes; it is 100% worth every single penny, worry, tear, smile and laugh.

It is difficult to find the right words to share all that I gained from my experience abroad, because it was my experience. What I did and what I saw was important to me. There is only one thing that I can say for sure.

The experiences, lessons and memories will last a lifetime.

Somehow it always turns out that our biggest fears lie in anticipation. The fears will fade and you will realize all that this experience has to offer your student. Although those four months are only a short part of my narrative, I know they were some of the most important in my life.

As I said, the only thing I can declare is that I could not have done it with out the support of my parents. Their support, open-mindedness, love and understanding helped make this experience the best four months of my life.

Trust me, it is worth it. Let them go forth and set the world on fire.

Ellery Fry, Comm ‘17