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Summary

The article is a heartfelt plea to the Indian diaspora in Australia, urging them to reconsider using their elderly parents as long-term childcare providers, emphasizing the importance of respecting their parents' desires for a fulfilling life in their native country.

Abstract

The author, an Indian immigrant in Australia, addresses a concerning trend within the Indian community abroad, where parents are brought over primarily to take care of grandchildren. These elderly parents often end up staying for extended periods, working hard to ease the lives of their working adult children. The author points out that this practice may deprive parents of their own social and cultural fulfillment back home, where they likely wish to spend their later years. The article questions the fairness of relying on parents for childcare and achieving personal dreams of affluence, suggesting that children should instead prioritize their parents' happiness and well-being in their golden years.

Opinions

  • It is unfair to expect elderly parents to provide free childcare for extended periods, as they may already have faced numerous challenges raising their own children.
  • The strong emotional bond between Indian parents and children should not be exploited by asking them to sacrifice their own desires to support their adult children abroad.
  • The author believes that parents should not be used as a means to achieve one's own dreams of material success, such as buying houses and cars.
  • It is important to consider the emotional cost to parents who are kept away from their native place, extended family, and social circles, which is where they likely wish to spend their later years.
  • The article suggests that adult children should be strong enough to manage their own lives without overly relying on their parents, allowing their parents to live peacefully in their familiar environment.

An Open Letter to the Indian Community Staying Abroad

Your parents are not meant to provide “free” childcare

Having migrated to Australia from India, I am lucky to see both sides of the world. Those who migrate to a different country have the privilege to invite their parents over and in many cases, that becomes their first international journey.

I have been observing a trend in the Indian Community that saddens my heart. Many couples invite their parents just for the purpose of raising kids! The parents visit and stay for over a year and throughout this year, they toil hard to ensure that the working couple’s lives become easier.

The old parents are seen in the parks in the evenings sharing their pain with each other while convincing themselves that they are not the only ones who are doing it.

Photo by Jimmy Chan

This is a humble request to rethink your lives and priorities.

Why make your struggle, your parent’s struggle?

Your parents must have already faced a lot of struggles and challenges raising you. They have done their part.

It's understandable that life may be throwing you lemons, but that doesn’t mean you put forward your parents to catch those lemons.

Why take unfair advantage of their love and care?

There is always a strong bonding and emotional attachment that Indian parents have to their children.

You know that they won't refuse if you ask them to come abroad and help you out. But would they really like being away for months? Always think twice before making this unfair ask to them.

Why rely on your parents to make your own dreams come true?

In every gathering I go to, the discussions always start revolving around houses, decorations, renovations, and cars.

We pay a price for all this lavishness. Assess your eligibility to afford the lavishness without assuming your parent’s time or wealth.

Why not make their last few years pleasing?

One thing that most parents expect in their old age is to stay closer to their friends, extended families, and relatives. They want to celebrate festivals, participate in marriages, and help others during times of adversity.

Let’s not deprive them of this.

Conclusion

Keeping your parents away from their native place for too long isn’t what they expect. You might think they are happy but deep down they aren’t.

Let’s be strong and let them be at peace.

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