Summary

A man writes an open letter to a woman on Tinder who resembles his wife, expressing his initial shock, relief at discovering she is not his wife, and his intrigue due to the uncanny similarities between the two women.

Abstract

In an unexpected twist, a man stumbles upon a Tinder profile of a woman who bears a striking resemblance to his wife, causing him momentary confusion and concern. As he delves into her profile, he notes numerous coincidental similarities, including physical features, a tattoo, and even a car preference. Despite the eerie likeness, he is reassured by the woman's different name and profile details, which lead him to conclude that she is not his wife. The man humorously contemplates the possibility of the Tinder match knowing his wife and muses about the potential for a platonic meeting, all while maintaining his intention to remain a faithful husband.

Opinions

The author initially feels a sense of betrayal upon mistaking the Tinder match for his wife.
He is relieved to find that the woman is not his wife but is amused and intrigued by the resemblance.
The author is thorough in his comparison of the Tinder match's profile to his wife's characteristics, indicating a mix of curiosity and playfulness.
He humorously suggests that the similarities between the two women could lead to a meeting, downplaying the potential awkwardness of the situation.
The author's tone suggests a light-hearted approach to the situation, emphasizing the unlikelihood of the coincidences and his own innocence in the matter.
He is keen on maintaining his image as a caring husband while also entertaining the idea of a platonic encounter with the look-alike.
The author's discovery of the Tinder match's proximity and potential shared gym membership with his wife leads him to believe it is a sign, though he does not specify of what.

An Open Letter To My Wife’s Look-A-Like Tinder Match

A Match Made Somewhere Other Than Heaven

Picture procured from Canva Pro by Author

Dear Woman on Tinder, who looks just like my wife,

Your picture gave me a shock today. There I was, innocently scrolling through Tinder profiles when I thought I saw my wife.

It felt like a betrayal before the truth occurred to me. I thought we were happy together!

Imagine my relief when I saw your name, Jen. I’m so glad it was you and not Jennifer. The two of you look so much alike it’s nearly unbelievable.

You’ve got the same dark sultry eyes. The same stark and yet somehow smooth curves to your face. Frankly, it’s the same face. I could just kiss it. In fact, I could walk into the next room and do just that.

Hope that doesn’t come across as stalky. It’s just if I didn’t know better, I’d swear you were my Jennifer.

It’s uncanny. I went through all your profile pics. It’s hard to tell from the picture’s angle, but I think you drive a dark-blue Honda Civic, Jen. So does my Jennifer.

What really got me was the elephant tattoo just above your right knee. You’ll never guess who has the exact same one in the same spot. Go on. Guess. That’s right.

Oh, and assuming that’s eczema on your arm, my wife knows the perfect cream for it. We have to special order it, but I can tell you the brand when it gets here.

The coincidences seem to add up, I know. If it weren’t for your bio, I’d suspect you were the same person.

Ask me no questions; I’ll tell no lies.

A frustrated woman wants to meet some new guys.

Let’s meet. It has to be at your place.

That’s pretty conclusive. My wife isn’t frustrated with me. I know because I ask her almost daily. “Stop asking,” she says. “Of course I’m not frustrated with you. Can you just drop it for once?”

I wonder, though, is it possible you know her? Call me crazy but it seems like you must.

I’d ask Jennifer, but I don’t want her to know I installed Tinder. She might get the wrong idea, you know? I promise I only did it to be a loving and caring husband who wants to check up on his wife and maybe meet some local people for purely platonic reasons.

That’s not my point. This is my point.

Your last picture looks like you go to the same gym as she does. You must have seen her. She spends HOURS there.

You’re so much alike; I’m tempted to swipe right.

Seriously. I know we‘d look great together. I’ve even got vacation photos to prove it. And if we hit it off, I can show you what the kids would look like.

I like what I see. I’ve liked it for years.

Wow. You’re close too. Only a mile away?

That’s it. This is clearly a sign.

We have got to get together.

I’m swiping.

Sincerely, Jennifer’s Husband.

Scott Hughey once accidentally installed Tinder for about five minutes. That may be a story for another time. In the meantime, enjoy his tale about the Three Prostitutes That Surprised Him.