Summary

The article is a blunt and frustrated open letter from an employee to a coworker who overuses the high-priority flag on emails and expects immediate assistance, despite the writer's belief that this coworker is disorganized and creates unnecessary emergencies.

Abstract

In the open letter, the author addresses a coworker, Mr. Always-A-High-Priority, with a clear message: "Fuck off." The writer expresses irritation over the coworker's habit of marking all emails as high-priority and following up persistently, suggesting that this behavior is disrespectful of the writer's time and workload. The author feels that the coworker's lack of preparation and poor time management are not valid reasons for the rest of the team to prioritize their tasks over others. The writer emphasizes that they are not obligated to act as a personal assistant, clean up the coworker's mistakes, or tolerate mansplaining. The letter concludes with the author suggesting that the coworker's life, and by extension the team's, would improve if they simply did their job properly.

Opinions

The author is exasperated by the coworker's constant use of high-priority flags on emails, viewing it as an abuse of the system.
There is a clear sense of resentment towards the coworker's expectation of immediate assistance, especially when it disrupts the author's own work priorities.
The author believes that the coworker's issues are self-created due to a lack of preparation and poor time management.
The writer is not amused by the coworker's follow-up on emails before they are even sent out, finding it presumptuous and indicative of a lack of trust in the team's capabilities.
The author feels that the coworker's behavior is an attempt to make their problems everyone else's emergency.
There is a strong assertion that the author's role does not include being the coworker's personal helper or fixing their mistakes.
The author is critical of the coworker's attempt to "pull rank" and use hierarchy to

An Open Letter To My Coworker, Mr. Always-A-High-Priority

I have two words for you

To my coworker, Mr. Always-A-High-Priority,

I have two words for you: Fuck off. Please. Sorry, that was three words.

I’d like to understand your thought process as you flag every single one of your emails to me with a high-priority exclamation mark.

Do you think that when I see the red exclamation mark, I’m going to respond with, “Oh my, why of course, let me just drop everything I’m working on to help you because you flagged this email and every god damn email you send as high priority”?

I’m sorry to disappoint, but the only thing I’m itching to do is dump your email into the trash folder.

And the fact that you like to follow up with me about your emails before they even leave your outbox, well, come on. I know I’m good at my job, but I would have won by lottery by now if I was that good.

See, there’s something I need you to understand. Your lack of preparation is not my emergency.

And when you come to me with a request and mention that it needed to be done yesterday, yeah, that still doesn’t make it my problem.

Oh, don’t try to flip this on me. I’m a fantastic team player. I’m paying such great attention to the team that I’ve noticed how you’re a walking mess. And worse, you expect everyone to bend over backward to help you pick up all the balls you’re dropping.

Here’s some advice — stop dropping the ball.

Last I checked, my job title isn’t “your personal helper,” and cleaning up your mess also isn’t in my job description. Neither is holding your hand or redoing your work because you “have fat fingers” and make “simple typos” on some pretty important numbers.

Uh-huh. So you’re busy. Well, last I checked, we’re all busy. Some of us are busy actually getting work done, and others are busy not getting the job done. I’m the former, and you’re the latter.

Don’t get me wrong. I’d be happy to support you just after you start depositing your pay cheques into my bank account. Then I’ll happily start doing your work for you.

Tsk tsk. Don’t try to pull rank. That’s not classy. And you’re making me laugh. See, you don’t outrank me, I don’t work for you, and my patience for your mansplaining just ran out.

All our lives would be a lot simpler and smoother if you just did your job. Simple as that, right? Do your job, and do it properly. And all these messes will just magically go away.

Hopefully, we can come to an understanding.

Not yours truly,

Ms. Not-My-Problem

P.S. If you’re noticing a trend in my Skype status mysteriously turning to the yellow “away” symbol right after you send me a message … yeah, that’s not a fluke.