An Open Letter to Men Who Ask Me For More Pictures

Summary

Jehan Senai Worthy addresses the issue of men she meets online requesting additional photos, often of a provocative nature, before even going on a date, and establishes a clear stance against such requests, suggesting a fee for each photo requested as a deterrent.

Abstract

In an open letter, Jehan Senai Worthy expresses her frustration with men who, after meeting on online dating platforms, immediately ask for more photos, despite having access to her social media profiles. She emphasizes that these requests are inappropriate and invasive, and she no longer entertains them without a fee. Worthy points out the irony of men shaming her for being on a dating site while they themselves make objectifying demands. She sets out guidelines for respectful interaction, including getting to know her before requesting photos and not expecting her to provide images that meet unrealistic standards when they haven't made a similar effort. Her message is clear: she will not tolerate being treated as a personal model or sex object and will charge for the privilege of her images, reinforcing her boundaries with a Venmo request before blocking persistent offenders.

Opinions

Worthy finds it inappropriate and creepy when men she barely knows ask for additional, often provocative, photos.
She rejects the notion that such requests should be flattering, instead viewing them as an invasion of her privacy and autonomy.
She criticizes men who question her interactions on a dating site while making objectifying requests, highlighting the double standard.
Worthy advocates for building a genuine connection before exchanging more personal photos and expects a reciprocal effort from the men she communicates with.
She introduces a monetary deterrent ( $100-$ 200 per photo) to emphasize the value of her time and images, and to filter out disrespectful requests.
Worthy's guidelines serve to establish mutual respect and set clear boundaries in the early stages of online interactions.

Dear Men I Barely Know,

We met online and before we’ve gone on a date before we’ve built a rapport, you’ve asked me for more pictures.

THE NERVE!

I get it. You have a fear of being catfished, but I have five, sometimes six, pictures already on my online profile. Headshot, full-body shot, and you have access to my Instagram account, yet it’s still not enough for your pornographic gaze.

Can I have a swimsuit photo? Maybe one with a little less clothing? You put in your special requests.

Some guys say, well, you should be flattered men want to see more of you.

Here’s something for you to know. Unless I know you personally, it…is…not…flattering. It’s creepy!

And some of you guys out there, when I try to politely tell you how inappropriate it is and explain just how frequent this annoying and most times highly inappropriate request makes me feels, ask “well how many guys are you talking to that you are getting so many requests for photos?”

So let me get this straight, instead of focussing on the audacity of the men making special requests for photos including photos with “less clothing” and “another swimsuit photo” have the nerve to shame me for talking to multiple men on an online dating site where we met.

Well, I hate to break it to you -not like it’s any of your business anyway-A LOT! You are not the only guy around, and you will not be the only one until you have taken me on at least one date.

THE NERVE OF MEN!

I am not your personal model or sex object so do not treat me as such. I have compiled a few guidelines for asking me for photos.

Guidelines:

If you are not sure whether or not you are attracted to me based on the photos I have on my profile and/or on my Instagram then move right along. Choose someone else. I will not miss you. Please save me the frustration.

Build a rapport with me. Get to know me a little before asking me for more pictures.

If you want a photo send one of yourself first, but don’t expect me to send you a photo in which I look like a Victoria’s Secret model when you send a picture of yourself looking like you don’t know which way to point a camera.

Don’t ask for racy photos, including but not limited to swimsuit photos or photos with less clothing, during the beginning stages of a relationship.

But if you have the nerve to ask such an audacious question I will send a $100 Venmo request. Actually, make it $200 before I hit the block button.

Sincerely, Jehan Senai Worthy

OPEN LETTERS

An Open Letter to Men Who Ask Me For More Pictures

If you want a photo, I now charge $100 for each. Actually, make it $200

Dear Men I Barely Know,

Guidelines:

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I will drop kick you if you try to talk to me at night