An Open Letter to All Trans and Non Binary Kids — #Letters4transkids
We all need Encouragement
June is Pride month. It is rapidly approaching. Normally that would be a cause for celebration, but this year there are dark storm clouds gathering on the horizon. Every year narrow minded legislators intoduce hundreds of bills aimed at restricting the rights of LGBTQ individuals. In the last two years, this trend has accelerated. Transgender youth have been singled out as particular targets. Besides the attempts to primarily restrict transgender girls from participating in girls sports, legislatures are beginning to propose criminalizing gender affirming care for transgender youth — as a felony, not a mere misdemeanor, which would be bad enough. Alabama has already done so and Texas governor Greg Abbott has attempted the same by executive fiat.
As if these trends were not troubling enough, too many recent legislative proposals attempt to prohibit even the acknowledgment of the existence of transgender people. Some of the hateful legislation has gone so far as to effectively prevent even the mere discussion of the existence of transgender people in school under the fiction of protecting parents’ rights by preventing the grooming or recruiting of children too young to understand. In an attempt to seem “reasonable”, the legislation is written in such a way as to only prevent this discussion of LGBTQ issues with very young children (preschool to 3rd grade in my state). However, the standards are vague enough to allow parents to challenge discussions and instruction even among high schoolers by allowing parents to sue teachers and school administrators for monetary damages for providing information, activities and instruction, they subjectively find “objectionable”. Talk about a chilling effect on free speech.
In my home state of Florida, Governor Ron DeSantis pushed through our so called Don’t Say Gay law. Alabama has followed suit. Numerous other states are considering similar legislation. Make no mistake, these laws are not about protecting children, but about the political aspirations of the legislators proposing such laws. They care nothing about the people they are hurting. Scoring points with a coveted, fearful, ignorant, and backward voting block originally exploited by Donald Trump is more important. These laws have not gone unnoticed and much of corporate America is pushing back. In Florida, Disney, one of the state’s biggest employers, quickly condemned the legislation and drew the ire of the governor who is attempting to retaliate by revoking their Reedy Creek special taxing district.
At the local level, there have been marches and protests at the capital. Commencement speakers have indicated their intent to discuss LGBTQ inclusion at graduations. Yearbooks have appeared with pictures of the pride rainbow flag and gay and transgender students with their classmates. School administrators are fighting back. Lyman High School in Seminole County, pulled distribution of yearbooks until images of gay students and pride parephenalia are covered up. Zander Moricz, the Class President of Pine View School in Osprey, was warned by his principal not to discuss his LGBTQ activism or his microphone would be cut off. Even T shirts are beginning to appear that criticize the law. I could not resist buying one myself. Here is the graphic off the front of my fluorescent yellow t-shirt that I proudly wear around town:
There is a war going on and our vulnerable youth are the collateral damage caught in the middle. So what is someone who is concerned and who cares to do?
Ina Fried, a transgender woman and chief technology correspondent for news site Axios, started thinking after being asked by a cousin how she could express support for transgender youth. She thought writing a letter might be a good idea. Fried eventually came up with the idea for #letters4transkids. People are asked to write, record, post or film an inspirational message and post it with the hashtag on social media. Alternatively, someone can send an e-mail to [email protected]. Fried will post any she receives. Quoted in an article by Alex Cooper on April 11, 2022, in the Advocate, Fried said, “This isn’t about kids wanting to be trans or nonbinary, or not. All I want for any kid is for them to have the space and support to be their fullest self, whoever that is.” What more needs to be said?
I first became aware of #letters4transkids in a text request from a transwoman who is part of an EPTEP chat room in Eastern Pennsylvania. She is a reading interventionist at Lower Macungie Middle School and helps to run their Gay Straight Alliance. She asked for people to write letters to share with her 9–12 year old students. How could I not? Here is what I wrote:
Letters for Trans Kids
locke besse <[email protected]>
May 19, 2022, 12:33 PM (1 day ago)
to:
Hi Everyone (but especially Trans/Nonbinary Kids):
Can I share a secret? I am just like you! Well, not exactly since I look more like your grandmothers. But I do have grandkids your age. When I was a little girl my mom and dad thought I was a little boy and treated me that way. I looked like a boy so I must have been one. Right? Well no. I knew I was a girl, just no one would believe me. It was hard. I was unhappy.
Fast forward about 50 years. I finally got up the nerve to tell the world who I really was. I am a woman. I like being a woman. I have always been a woman. There is nothing wrong with me. There never was. And there is nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You do not need to be fixed. You are entitled to happiness, love, respect and acceptance. You are allowed to be the person you know you really are deep inside. No one has to give you permission. Quite simply, you are already the perfect you.
I know none of you, but I also know every one of you just as well as I know my own kids. Huh? What did she just say? That makes no sense! Yes we have never met, but I know exactly how you feel, what you are going through. I too was once scared, unhappy, afraid I was losing my mind. I feared the disapproval of all the people around me. It seemed everyone wanted to fix me or control me. I was terrified my parents would abandon me. It seemed like the whole world didn’t like me.
It took me a really long time, but I finally learned that a lot of people like the real me and support me. They approve of me and want to be my friend. They are all around you too. You are loved. You are brave. You are beautiful. You are going to be ok. I and all my friends love and admire you. And if you ever make it to Florida, come visit me. I’d love to hang out. Bring your parents. Maybe we can all go out for pizza.
Hugs, Bree
There are a lot more people who care in the world than those who hate or are afraid. There has been a huge positive response to Ina’s letter writing campaign. Each of you is one more potential voice to show to these vulnerable kids that you do care, that there is nothing wrong with them, that you want them to be happy. I have a simple request. Will you take a couple of minutes and add your message of support to Ina’s campaign?