An Invitation To My Wedding Imagined By My 10-Year-Old Self
As the loving couple is pronounced husband and wife, a rainbow will shoot across the sky, doves will fly, and the clouds will form into fluffy hearts.
You are cordially invited to the wedding of Halle and American Idol’s 2008 first runner-up, David Archuleta. Though the prize of American Idol was unjustly stolen from him, David Archuleta has won the prize of being Halle’s beloved husband.
Please join the couple: Saturday, September 8th at 11 am The Gazebo in Twilight where Edward and Bella danced at prom Forks, Washington
There they will exchange their loving vows and make Halle’s cousin Sarah SUPER jealous. As the loving couple is pronounced husband and wife, a rainbow will shoot across the sky, doves will fly, and the clouds will form into fluffy hearts.
After the ceremony, a reception to celebrate their union will be held: Saturday, September 8th at 6:30 pm The Palace in The Princess Diaries Pyrus, Genovia
Please join the couple to celebrate their marriage with dinner, dancing, and a game of Twister! Live music will be provided by Hannah Montana, The Jonas Brothers, and a romantic serenade from David Archuleta who has the voice of an angel, no matter what “America” thinks.
The attire of the bride and the wedding party will be designed by Raven from “That’s So Raven.” As a side note, Raven has seen into the future and happily reports that David Archuleta and Halle will have seven beautiful children, start a family band, and become world-famous rockstars. Raven also reports that Halle’s cousin Sarah will grow a big hairy mole on her nose.
Catering will be done by the Italian chefs from Lady and the Tramp. Dinner festivities include Halle and David Archuleta sharing a very long piece of spaghetti where at the end of it their lips will meet and have their first kiss. When they kiss there will be fireworks, also a hundred more doves released. Their wedding cake will be created by Baskin-Robbins and consist of thirty-one stacked layers of their original ice cream flavors. It will be freakin awesome.
After the meal is served, David Archuleta and Halle will share their first dance. As they dance, they will be interrupted by Cousin Sarah confessing that Halle did deserve to win the Thanksgiving talent show, and when Cousin Sarah said that Halle danced like a “baby chicken with one leg” she was just jealous of her sick moves. David Archuleta and Halle will finish their dance with a kiss and one thousand more doves will be released.
If you wish to honor Halle and David Archuleta with a gift, here is a suggested list from their wedding registry:
Bean Bag Chairs, Walmart Rollercoaster Tycoon 3, GameStop A Waterbed, IKEA Webkinz (Cocker Spaniel or Tree Frog preferred), Elam’s Hallmark Shop 2007 Holiday Barbie, Toys “R” Us A Dog, The Animal Shelter Judy Blume Books, The Scholastic Book Fair An Apology For Spilling Grape Juice On Halle During the Passover Seder (Specifically for Cousin Sarah)
Alternatively, the couple will also accept contributions towards buying the flying car from Grease so they can ride off into the sky towards their honeymoon.
Hope you join us! (Unless you voted for David Cook in the American Idol finale, if so you are not invited no matter what Halle’s mom says.)
Sincerely,
David Archuleta and Halle
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