An innocent broken wing Butterfly. (Story)

Out of the blue, she brought colors into my life.

This is what I got on my room’s floor. Just a day was pretty much ending my routine and the night was up in my window, my eyes spotted pliable wings, their amber-colored candidly hitting my retina, signals to the optic nerve while the brain paints her embellish art for me.

I couldn’t have ignored the playful tricks she tries to showcase. My pulse winged up seeing that I would not have erroneously wound her phantom spirit as I was eagerly wanting to keep her with me.

My body was wiggled, and I had forward my steps to hold the agile grip of her wings, my soul was standing there seeing the devastated part of me. By feeling the warmth of a human body she fluttered her wings to fly but ended up powerless, her purity couldn't wrangle to me not even once.

Her shimmery amber wings left color on my fingertips :

The tinted amber pigment was so light and sheer textured disperse evenly on my fingertips and their fragrance seems to be a blossom whiff.

I put up her on my palm, she allowed herself like I am defensible being for her, and she alleviated it with no noise or flutter. I tried to keep her with me but she is so delicate and already bruised, if I accidentally hurt her, I won’t let off myself.

I kept her pet :

You know what, I have been petting her for a week. I called her Cookie. Why did I call her nick Cookie? Her wings and their color resemble a cookie🍪.

I kept her in a small container, feeding her food(Honey) until she recover or could able to fly.

And the saddest part did not come yet. I could not have seen the mirror of my feelings. I too can not want to share it with myself.

Nothing is intrinsically good or bad. Good or bad is always relative. Compare your situation with someone’s that is worse. Now yours do not seem so bad after all.

Love at first sight :

My palm was a bit warmth dry and the night was cold.

She would lie and sense relief on my palm calmly.

And my heart’s mercury is up and swallowed.

My hair was roughly wrapped and the coral shirt was half ironed.

Face skin was covered by some blushy twinkle on the cheeks.

Bright lights met up with the smiley face and the night moved to the sky.

At that point, I tried to catch her velvety petals(wing) with my bare shaky fingertips and breathed a low sigh, which resulted in mistakenly plucking a quarter of her left petal.

// That broke me down terribly.

I held her and wanted to blow in the air whereas I had merely sensed her vulnerable edge, trying to not outmaneuver her weak spot.

(I held myself a little lowkey), grabbed her in my arms and bow on to a bit emotional state.

The way she had concealed her voice from me, my feelings secreted to her.

I showed my kindness to her.

I was about to attach to her, I loved her and I will keep loving her that way.

It felt like,

• It feels like I took a break from a toxic relationship.
• It feels like all my doubts over love/attachments have been cleared away.
• It feels like I just have dined my favorite meal to satisfy the archive cravings.

Did you ever feel the same way about a person you love? whom do you meet abruptly and tell every piece of your worst in head plight? (*I felt that way twice).

If you keep looking forward to seeing yourself this way, so my dear friend. You are in trouble and you personally need to read this story till the end. I’ll try to make sure you will get all your corresponding details over here.

Oct-26–2022 : On day, the very next morning, I woke up and found her dead in the container.

My takeaway from her being: Have you ever listened to this statement?

God has made small creatures die by man’s hand.

It should not be okay for you to have any small creature dies by your hands. However, there is not a big deal for cold-hearted people, it does not matter to them.

That’s not probably in your hand. Why would you let them die? even an ant(living) and a tree(nonliving) have the right to breathe in this world and we have no doubt these are the most innocent creatures in the sphere.

The Naked Reality ;

Earth is the second world of evil. The first world is the human mind.

Do you miss your childhood form? The safest world to learn empathy at that age, and we do questions pointlessly with zero hues and woes.

All you have to do is bring that part in you once again.

The people who carry virginity in their hearts belong to the holy world. I wish I could send her to an innocuous place.

My feelings after losing her :

I realized my most apprehended part of existence in that interval. Why I do believe this is still not sure able, my mind is not explicit about people and their internals. I merely know, I am going to miss her as I miss my others.

Don’t lose hope, hope is the key.

And here I go next, letting my inner self yell loud and louder. Don’t be so overdramatic, use the other box next to you and be blessed with it.

Box One my noncreative component filled with pessimistic moods.

Box Two is creative, constructive and has joyous loads.

The BOX I :

Well, it’s not today that happened to me, the things most dearer to me flee in the end. God If they flee, grant me some required energy to beat the factor.

I contemplated.

• Why it happens to me every time?
• Why I have often had to give up my most adored?
• Why God made me so intrinsically empathetic?
• Why do I feel others’ feelings/aches like my own?
• Others’ life is so balanced.

Look at the Instagram. People are so happy and blessed enjoying lunch/dinner or having a cup of tea with their loved ones. Does it seem like everyone else is doing better than me? Is it just my imagination? and here I am losing my people and being lost in distinct imagination, following the wrong path repeatedly with void planning or inconsistent efforts.

It’s hard for me to let go of the people who mean the most to me and perhaps even harder when our memories are allies. But I know that sometimes our lives just aren’t meant to be together forever.

Numerous pessimist questions arise when something you deal with discomfort in life.

The BOX II :

Every individual has to let his positive side yell at once in a lifetime. Some can deal with it with a lot of patience and some have not conclusively aware of it.

I am one of those who have awareness of my constructive state.

As Art needs to be understood by its roots. Similarly, positivity you merely can not procure without digging into it.

However, on another note, I didn't have a clue about where to start and how to deal with sudden traumas right after she died.

To manage your conscious discomfort to the point where just swirled a silent storm into the head, called not management its an Art. Art is contagious.

Art is something that is, always present in every individual’s cognitive insights. And everyone is an artist — the only difference is that you need to find the art you have inside, bring it out, and let it exponentially flow.

Now, the key is how and where your brain’s neurons collect and relates all the input from here that is accessible to you.

Every piece of art should be unique or exclusive. The way we see things, the way we feel about things, the way we think about things, and the way we relate to others are all intimately connected.

The behavior I noticed internally from the BOX I self-pity thoughts. You will notice that the more negative thoughts your mind produces after any happening of unfavorable incidents, the more self-pity encourages the destruction that is ultimately the root cause of sadness, grief, anger, and other emotions.

And yes, I do believe. I dealt with a mix of destructive emotions at the same time and manages a way to replace them with some modifications in my life. i-e, I tried new things some small changes in my wardrobe, read a new book, tried watercolor painting, and made a crafty DIY book organizer for my study table which I often post updates on my Instagram handle.

I love posting my creativity it makes me feel lively when I see them. YES, I MADE IT.

The midget exercises you all should perform and that’s what I did to get rid of BOX I :

• Breathe, inhale and exhale until you feel complete relaxation any physical exercise such as cardio, or yoga is best for preventing counterproductive energies around your mind. (Choose a tranquil place to perform this part).
• Set the timer to twenty minutes, pen down your worries on blank A4-size paper, and do not stop until twenty minutes is over. Do it for at least 30 days.
• Socialize and make new friends, share with them what bothers you, and most importantly listen to them and solve their issues empathetically, it will help you to find your hidden answers when you direct to puzzle out theirs.
• Give yourself some spare time to know the unseen treasure secrets of your thoughts. Meditation would be helpful.
• Perform a random act of kindness every day. Help somebody as a volunteer or send a smile even right after you had a horrible day.

My choice to spend the whole day with myself, feeling enjoyable in my own company, isn't about ignoring my grief or masking my sadness. It’s about making a conscious choice to celebrate life’s gift and turning down the behavior in a pitiful manner.

Stop calling yourself, You are vulnerable. you merely need to work on your soft district.

A piece of advice from a friend helped me realize what had been missing from my life for so long :

Self-love doesn’t come from outside sources — it comes from within ourselves. And once we take care of ourselves first (by eating well, and exercising regularly), everything else will fall into place automatically.

I have seen the best and worst in people, and I have also seen the best and worst in myself. I have done all of these things, and I am sure that you will see more of them in yourself if you try them out.

If you do these exercises, you will find that your inner self is immensely complacent with yourself — and it’s a conversation that can be very fruitful.

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