An Exchange Student’s Saga

3 valuable lessons on coming back home

“There is a kind of magicness about going far away and then coming back all changed.” ― Kate Douglas Wiggin

When I was just sixteen, I embarked on an adventure of a lifetime. I went away for a year to Leon, Guanajuato, Mexico as an exchange student.

That year forever changed me.

I learned about others, grew as a person, and matured. However, when I returned, I had to go through a process of reentry. It was hard, but I learned many lessons along the way.

The day I came back to the U.S., I was now seventeen. However, I felt like I had aged to seventy.

It was a grand reunion of friends and family at the airport that summer day back in 1992. After the fanfare and party faded, I felt as deflated as my welcome balloons.

I thought: I have come back, now what?

When I went back to school, some people were fascinated by my trip, and others could care less. It felt as if everyone around me had hardly matured, and I was on an island by myself.

There are three lessons I learned in my year of reentry. If you ever go away from home for a long time and come back, these may help you.

Be Patient With Others:

Every person’s experience in life is their own. My experience abroad was not more important than my friend’s experience at home.

While you have many stories to tell and experiences to share, be patient.

Your friends and family have been waiting for your presence for a long time. Let them also share their lives with you.

I remember I was very anxious to share all of my stories and I felt hurt when very few people asked me questions about my time away. Then I realized they needed to be heard too.

Your reality may feel distorted for a while, especially if you have lived in another culture and come home to your own. Loved ones may not understand your need to cling to what you have learned in your time away.

How can you be patient with others while you reassimilate?

Sort Out What Is Important:

Especially if you have lived in another culture for a while and spoken a different language, you will feel it is important to hang on to those customs.

There are some ways of being you will adopt, and others you will let go of.

For example, when I came back from Mexico, I was used to a different meal schedule. The main meal was in the middle of the day around two or three in the afternoon. Then, we would have a late-night snack around eight or nine in the evening.

My brain and body were confused for a while, and I kept wanting to have another meal a few hours after our U.S. dinner. I soon realized this was a habit that was not important, and I needed to adapt back to my regular schedule here.

Some of the customs and habits you picked up while away will be useful to you back home, and others may disappear.

I am happy I retained the attitude of flexibility I learned in Mexico. Often last-minute plans were made, and I learned to go with the flow.

How can you keep some customs and let go of ones that do not serve you?

Know You Are Loved:

Reentering your own culture after a long time away can be challenging. However, everyone back home held on to their hearts for you while you were away.

Your time away was more valuable than you will ever imagine.

I know that I was forever changed by my time spent in Mexico. I know whenever I return to visit my friends, I feel at home.

My heart instantly feels at ease in my second culture, and I feel surrounded by love.

However, I also know that inner love is always there for me. No matter where I am, that feeling follows me. Know that you are loved, right where you are.

How can you feel loved where you are?

I feel like I am from both the United States and Mexico. My heart belongs to both places now, and I am grateful. Although coming back home was not easy, it was a part of my life experience that makes me who I am today.

Do you have a story of reentry? How did it affect you? Share your story in the comments. I appreciate you so much!