An Epidemic of Loneliness is Killing Us

The Surgeon General issues a new warning, along with an antidote, to our unhealthy, deadly culture of separation and isolation

Roughly half of all Americans experience some level of loneliness, and about one-third of people are severely lonely, surveys find. In a new report on the topic, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy slapped a warning label on loneliness, calling it a health-destroying and deadly epidemic as bad as smoking cigarettes.

“People began to tell me they felt isolated, invisible, and insignificant,” Murthy writes in the new 81-page report, which cites dozens of studies on the topic (PDF). “Even when they couldn’t put their finger on the word ‘lonely,’ time and time again, people of all ages and socioeconomic backgrounds, from every corner of the country, would tell me, ‘I have to shoulder all of life’s burdens by myself,’ or ‘if I disappear tomorrow, no one will even notice.’”

While loneliness is real, it’s important to understand that the feeling of loneliness is different than the state of being alone at times — many people crave some solitude, for example. True loneliness involves not just our reality but our perceptions of it — what we expect from others versus what we get, and how we’re affected by isolation.

A study published earlier this year linked both a person’s actual social isolation and their perception of loneliness to a 15–20% higher risk of hospitalization or death from heart failure, as one example of the many links to poor health. More on those below. But first…

What’s to blame?

Modern life causes loneliness in multiple ways, not the least of which is the tendency to move often and scatter far and wide. Political divisions have pushed friends and whole families apart. Social media, though devised to bring people together, is thought by many experts to do the opposite.

Michele Nealon, PsyD, president of the Chicago School of Professional Psychology, agrees loneliness is a mental health epidemic.

“This is a problem especially for young adults who rely so heavily on their devices that they are foregoing interpersonal relationships,” Nealon said in reaction to the new report.

“Social media can be hell for lonely people,” researchers in a 2021 study on the topic concluded. One of that study’s co-authors, Harvard researcher Milena Batanova, PhD, told me earlier this year that empathy — the ability to grasp the feelings of others and consider things from their perspective — seems to be on the decline among young people.

“There’s a gap in how much people feel like they’re giving or investing in people compared to how much they feel like they’re receiving,” Batanova told me.

Whatever the causes, Murthy is clear about the effects.

“Loneliness is far more than just a bad feeling — it harms both individual and societal health,” he writes. “It is associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death. The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and even greater than that associated with obesity and physical inactivity. And the harmful consequences of a society that lacks social connection can be felt in our schools, workplaces, and civic organizations, where performance, productivity, and engagement are diminished.”

What we can do

Curbing the loneliness epidemic will require patching the fabric of the nation.

“It will take all of us — individuals and families, schools and workplaces, health care and public health systems, technology companies, governments, faith organizations, and communities — working together to destigmatize loneliness and change our cultural and policy response to it,” Murthy writes. “It will require reimagining the structures, policies, and programs that shape a community to best support the development of healthy relationships.”

If you feel lonely, Batanova suggests first trying to figure out why. She asks: “Is the loneliness a function of some deep personal angst, or anger towards society, or more so relational, a function of deep discomfort with those around you?”

Volunteering can curb loneliness. Cutting back on social media has been shown to reduce loneliness and depression.

Murthy offers specific suggestions for curbing loneliness in yourself and others:

• Answer that phone call from a friend.
• Make time to share a meal.
• Listen without the distraction of your phone.
• Perform an act of service.
• Express yourself authentically.

“Each of us can start now, in our own lives, by strengthening our connections and relationships,” he writes. “Our individual relationships are an untapped resource — a source of healing hiding in plain sight. They can help us live healthier, more productive, and more fulfilled lives.”

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