An Anthology of Words I Use Which May Not Be English

Scots, Glaswegian, Doric – Who Knows?

As some of my readers may know, I am Scottish. It’s basically my entire personality so it’s not hard to notice.

The other big giveaway is some of the words I use, which may or may not be English, and I don’t always know the difference. These are likely to creep into my responses to your stories.

1. Scunnered. Meaning fed up, or annoyed. As in “I’m right scunnered I forgot to paywall my Medium story”.
2. Dreich. There is no English equivalent for this word to describe the Scottish weather. It’s when it’s drizzly rain, not heavy enough for you to need an umbrella but enough to make your face sting with the damp. Always accompanied by grey skies. Sunny showers cannot be dreich.

3. Eejit. Meaning idiot.

4. Bawbag. Literally meaning scrotum, but generally an insult, as in “See that tangerine bawbag, Donald Trump? Whit an eejit”. See also Hurricane Bawbag, the cyclone which hit Scotland in 2011, and the Scots unofficially renamed. Cyclone Friedhelm? Never heard of him!

(A note on Scottish insults. The Scots love our insults, which can be very sweary, and might be used affectionately, or might indicate our abject disdain, and will probably be said with a straight face either way. Which makes us fascinating to get to know).

5. Minging. I don’t even know how to spell this one. Meaning disgusting, as in “that beer tastes pure minging”. See also bowffing.

6. Hee Haw, meaning nothing. As in “I spent hours writing this story for Medium and how much did I earn? Hee haw!”

7. Hooley. Weather again – very windy weather is “blowing a hooley”. See also Hurricane Bawbag.

8. Taps Aff – sticking with the weather, though this won’t be for some months. As soon as we catch a glimpse of sunshine in Scotland, it is the signal for everyone to head to the beach or the local park, with tins of drink (irn bru or lager), and for the men to expose their peely-wally white chests to the sun by removing their tops. Hence “taps aff weather”.

9. Blether, meaning to chat at length, as the Scots are wont to do, or someone especially talkative, as in “Yer maw is a richt blether”.

10. Shoogly – unsteady, or wobbly. If you are in danger of being ousted from a job or a relationship, or unfollowed on Medium for one too many click-baity headlines, you may be warned that “yer coat is on a shoogly peg”.

Now I can blether in your responses, without being scunnered that you understand hee haw, like an absolute eejit.